Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)

[CallMeIshmael]

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is this guy foreign? i've noticed that alot of countries don't seem to have discovered the art of ass wiping.

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No, he is from PA.

[CallMeIshmael]

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PM me his e-mail and I'll anonymously send him a link to this thread.

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We have discussed sending him an anonymous e-mail.

What do people think?

(I dont think I could send him a copy of a twoplustwo thread, because it would be pretty clearly from me)

[Dominic]

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Boss: Do you dump wherever you're standing, or do you use toilets? Or, do you use some magical Centaur toilet?

Centaur: We use regular bathrooms.

Boss: Do you use special Centaur toilet paper?

Centaur: Nope. We use nortmal toilet paper.

Boss: How do you reach back there.. to wipe yourself?

Centaur: Uh.. there is a device we use, it's called an Aubesian - it's a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth.

Boss: So.. there's a company that manufactures Centaur asswipers?

Centaur: Aubesians, yes. Um.. there's a store that's a sort of crate-and-barrel for Centaurs, called Aubesians & Such.. there's one on 57th Street.

Boss: I've seen that establishment.

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what the hell is this from?? I want to see it immediately!

A while ago I came across the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance website. While perusing their forums, I came across a serious thread about how to wipe. A lot of them just always took showers after every dump, but others had come up with contraptions involving long sticks and towels. [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

[pokerdirty]

maybe he gets some really good ass cheek spreadage from the toilet seat and doesn't need to wipe. i don't see this as a really good possiblity, but hey, sillier things have happened.

[Blarg]

Truly this is our future.

[xadrez]

The OP's post just shattered my reality constructs.

I havent even read any of the responses and Im not even sure I can continue. WOW.

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Boss: Do you dump wherever you're standing, or do you use toilets? Or, do you use some magical Centaur toilet?

Centaur: We use regular bathrooms.

Boss: Do you use special Centaur toilet paper?

Centaur: Nope. We use nortmal toilet paper.

Boss: How do you reach back there.. to wipe yourself?

Centaur: Uh.. there is a device we use, it's called an Aubesian - it's a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth.

Boss: So.. there's a company that manufactures Centaur asswipers?

Centaur: Aubesians, yes. Um.. there's a store that's a sort of crate-and-barrel for Centaurs, called Aubesians & Such.. there's one on 57th Street.

Boss: I've seen that establishment.

[/ QUOTE ] what the hell is this from?? I want to see it immediately!

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I didn't see a link posted, so here is the transcript.

Pretty effin' hilarious.

[evil_twin]

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People wipe from the back?

[/ QUOTE ]Apparently, womem are supposed to.. Something to do with infection but I don't know the details.

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Uhh, surely women should wipe from the front to the back then discard the paper, and repeat. It's pretty damn obvious why isn't it?!

[astroglide]

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Apparently, any non-disgusting human is supposed to

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FYP. what the [censored] could inspire somebody to think back to front is a good idea? do you find the hairy, angular recesses where your legs meet easier to manage than a perfectly straight line in a more accessible area of your body?