extremely random question for all the Brits

[daveymck]

I assumed it was called a wig to be honest.

[daveymck]

Some COurt Background

[diebitter]

Okay, hijack I know, but time for a few stupid things lawyers have said in court:


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?


Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?


Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?


The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?


Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?


Were you alone or by yourself?


Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?


Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?


Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?


Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?


Do you have any children or anything of that kind?


Was that the same nose you broke as a child?


Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?


So, you were gone until you returned?


Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You're pretty deep for a Texan, dude.



I kid! I kid!

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah yeah, G. I'm balls-deep - in your wife.

Ohhhhhhhhhh! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you making her feel those 2 inches then? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]