My girlfriend is a losing gambler

[mittman84]

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My girlfriend and I both enjoy gambling. But, we've taken two different paths. While I have worked hard on my game and become a winning player, she has no interest in doing so. People play for different reasons and all so if she doesn't mind losing that's cool. the problem is, she does mind losing. Since she enjoys the gamble more than the strategy, I taught her about casino whoring figuring she could have some fun gambling and make some easy money to boot. The problem is she plays well after the wagering requirement is met (gambling when she has the worst of it) and either loses her money or barely breaks even. She has the money to lose, and in a couple of years of gambling, she hasn't lost more than $1,000 (probably more like $500) but after one of these sessions she becomes despondant and upset. And also, still basically believing that all of this is luck, becoming jealous that I make good money casino whoring and playing poker. It's a situation I'm not sure how to deal with. I've explained to her that it's not luck that I win money and it's not some innate instinct she's lacking either. I'm sure someone here must have been in a similar situation at some point, how did you deal with it?

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I've always tried to avoid having sex with people who were mentally retarded.

[/ QUOTE ] lmfao, exactly what i was thinking but didnt want to be mean. i dont think i could put up with a g/f who isnt smart enough to realize the basics of EV in gambling, not exactly rocket science

[gildwulf]

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My girlfriend and I both enjoy gambling. But, we've taken two different paths. While I have worked hard on my game and become a winning player, she has no interest in doing so. People play for different reasons and all so if she doesn't mind losing that's cool. the problem is, she does mind losing. Since she enjoys the gamble more than the strategy, I taught her about casino whoring figuring she could have some fun gambling and make some easy money to boot. The problem is she plays well after the wagering requirement is met (gambling when she has the worst of it) and either loses her money or barely breaks even. She has the money to lose, and in a couple of years of gambling, she hasn't lost more than $1,000 (probably more like $500) but after one of these sessions she becomes despondant and upset. And also, still basically believing that all of this is luck, becoming jealous that I make good money casino whoring and playing poker. It's a situation I'm not sure how to deal with. I've explained to her that it's not luck that I win money and it's not some innate instinct she's lacking either. I'm sure someone here must have been in a similar situation at some point, how did you deal with it?

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I've always tried to avoid having sex with people who were mentally retarded.

[/ QUOTE ] lmfao, exactly what i was thinking but didnt want to be mean. i dont think i could put up with a g/f who isnt smart enough to realize the basics of EV in gambling, not exactly rocket science

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Some people/women are very smart but just don't get math.

[mittman84]

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My girlfriend and I both enjoy gambling. But, we've taken two different paths. While I have worked hard on my game and become a winning player, she has no interest in doing so. People play for different reasons and all so if she doesn't mind losing that's cool. the problem is, she does mind losing. Since she enjoys the gamble more than the strategy, I taught her about casino whoring figuring she could have some fun gambling and make some easy money to boot. The problem is she plays well after the wagering requirement is met (gambling when she has the worst of it) and either loses her money or barely breaks even. She has the money to lose, and in a couple of years of gambling, she hasn't lost more than $1,000 (probably more like $500) but after one of these sessions she becomes despondant and upset. And also, still basically believing that all of this is luck, becoming jealous that I make good money casino whoring and playing poker. It's a situation I'm not sure how to deal with. I've explained to her that it's not luck that I win money and it's not some innate instinct she's lacking either. I'm sure someone here must have been in a similar situation at some point, how did you deal with it?

[/ QUOTE ]

I've always tried to avoid having sex with people who were mentally retarded.

[/ QUOTE ] lmfao, exactly what i was thinking but didnt want to be mean. i dont think i could put up with a g/f who isnt smart enough to realize the basics of EV in gambling, not exactly rocket science

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Some people/women are very smart but just don't get math.

[/ QUOTE ] i understand that too, but honestly, how smart do you have to be to understand that the casino has an edge on you. you dont have to understand that statistics to know that they would not take your bets if it was possible for you to win in the long run

[wildzer0]

Great, the quality of the responses I've come to expect. And from a moderator no less. My girlfriend is a ridiculously highly paid network engineer for a big telecommunications company. She's a hell of a lot smarter than i am. I think I made it clear in my original post that she does not know, or care to know the basics of EV and gambling in general. She just enjoys the thrill of it. There's nothing wrong with that. My question was how to deal with it when she's upset that she's losing and I'm winning and she doesn't understand the difference between our gambling because she doesn't care to.

[mittman84]

well in that case it seems like she would have no promblem in understanding that in casino games you dont have an edge, and will lose unless you have a bonus (explain they give them to attact players who will continue to play after the bonus where is is -EV) and explain that poker can be +EV because you are playing againts sub-human morons (to quote filmath) and not the house, and that you take other players money fast than the house rakes your money, so you can make a profit, especialy while clearing a bonus or with rakeback.

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I've always tried to avoid having sex with people who were mentally retarded.

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Well, that makes one of us.

[dtbog]

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My girlfriend is a ridiculously highly paid network engineer for a big telecommunications company.

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she doesn't understand the difference between our gambling because she doesn't care to.

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People were probably a little too harsh, but the statement that "she doesn't understand the difference between our gambling because she doesn't care to" reflects ignorance.

A person who becomes upset over a phenomenon that she can't explain is normal.

A person who easily becomes upset over a very simple concept that would probably take ten minutes for a network engineer to understand is clearly evident of some sort of lack of ability.

Book smart, she must be... but is she 'real-world' smart enough to take some very small steps to alleviate her own frustration? Apparently not.

Drop her like a 7/2o in early. Women are like deposit bonus's. Once you have made them you go on to the next one.

[Cry Me A River]

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My question was how to deal with it when she's upset that she's losing and I'm winning and she doesn't understand the difference between our gambling because she doesn't care to.

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Sound byte. You need to put this into a sound byte. You need to be able to explain this in one sentence, a paragraph at most.

However, you need to realise there are two seperate issues here, and you need to select a sound byte appropriate to the occaision. The two seperate issues are:

A) Casinos
B) Poker

Two completely different issues.

Next time she gets upset for loosing money in an online casino, particularly after playing past a bonus, offer to play a game with her (you may have to wait until she calms down a little, but don't wait too long!! You need to do it while the wound is still fresh!). The game is as follows:

You will flip a coin.

If the coin lands heads you will pay her a dollar.

If the coin lands tails, she will pay you $1.50.

How many flips would she like to play? [chirp, chirp]

Now offer to pay her a $5 BONUS if she will play 10 flips. Would she like to play?

After the 10 flips, pay her the bonus.

Now, would she like to play some more? There is no further bonus.

Is she says yes, slap her [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] (Seriously, ask her what's changed in the last five minutes that now she's willing to play. Then ask her if she'd like to buy a bridge...)



For poker, it's a little different. Here it's a matter of making her realise it's a game of skill. At that point your battle is won since your skill > her skill means you will do better.

So, you play a really simple game of 1-card poker. Play with blinds play it like a regular limit game, except only one round of betting per hand. One player bets EVERY hand (or bets randomly, never looking at his card). Who wins?



In closing, I would like to echo other posters inferences that you are overestimating her intelligence... It'd be one thing if this happened once, but that it has become a pattern suggests either a certain level of cluelessness or compulsion (in which case she may not be upset so much with the fact that she lost as that she fell for it *again* even though she knows better but just can't help herself). It's rather like someone who drives a car regularly but never learns how to pump gas or who uses a computer every day but has no idea not to install spyware...

It's one thing to be a happy little fish, it's another thing to get upset about loosing but do absolutely nothing about it. That's either stupid or sick.

[gildwulf]

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Drop her like a 7/2o in early. Women are like deposit bonus's. Once you have made them you go on to the next one.

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WTF? This doesn't even make sense.