A moral dilemma

[Clarkmeister]

I'll be the first to differ with the first few responses. I think you at least need to sit down with your folks and have a talk. Obviously there are a million variables at play here, but at least on the surface my gut reaction is to have an honest face to face discussion with them. You certainly don't "owe" your mom new furniture on a monthly basis.

[New001]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll be the first to differ with the first few responses. I think you at least need to sit down with your folks and have a talk. Obviously there are a million variables at play here, but at least on the surface my gut reaction is to have an honest face to face discussion with them. You certainly don't "owe" your mom new furniture on a monthly basis.

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree with this entirely. If you don't have some kind of talk now, you'll have to do it later when it'll be much more awkward. If they needed the money for necessities, I'd be much more generous, but it sounds like they're more than just that.

[rusellmj]

Gotta go with Clark on this one. It's really no different than if you had a 9-5 job. Money you earned. Not sure how to put the following. Maybe your parents, or just your mom, view your winnings as some sort of windfall. Like it's free money from the innanet. Nothing wrong with having a discussion.

[FeliciaLee]

We have to know more about you to answer this effectively. Like are you 19 and a college student, or are you 35 and still living with your parents? Do you pay "rent," or are you living in a 1000 SF finished basement for free? What are your parent's ages and employment situation?

Given one scenario, you are almost required to give them this money. On another, you need to say no and move out or reestablish the boundries you have with your parents.

I helped my Mom out several times in the past. While this would have happened regardless, the money I gave her ended up supporting her drug addiction, and I was eventually forced to cut her off, which pretty much ended our relationship altogether.

So what I'm saying is that we need more info.

[istewart]

I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet.

I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it. So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it,
I'ma expose it. I'll take you back to 73 before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin' CD.
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months. My [censored] father must have had his panties up in a bunch,
cuz he split. I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye. No, I don't on second thought, I just [censored]' wished he would die.
I look at Hailie and I couldn't picture leavin' her side. Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake. I maybe made some mistakes but I'm only human. But I'm man enough to face them today.
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb, but the smartest [censored] I did was take them bullets out of that gun.
Cuz id'a killed 'em, [censored] I would have shot Kim an' him both. It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to The Eminem Show.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet.

I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it. So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it,
I'ma expose it. I'll take you back to 73 before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin' CD.
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months. My [censored] father must have had his panties up in a bunch,
cuz he split. I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye. No, I don't on second thought, I just [censored]' wished he would die.
I look at Hailie and I couldn't picture leavin' her side. Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake. I maybe made some mistakes but I'm only human. But I'm man enough to face them today.
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb, but the smartest [censored] I did was take them bullets out of that gun.
Cuz id'a killed 'em, [censored] I would have shot Kim an' him both. It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to The Eminem Show.

[/ QUOTE ]

God, I hate you.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

My answer would be, "I'm sorry, I'd rather not right now."
And then if I felt generous I might surprise her with some furniture for her birthday or mother's day.

If she pressured me, which my mother would NEVER DO lucky me, I'd let her know that "I have a responsibility to my self to pay my taxes and my future self fund my retirement and to my current/ future family to care for their needs and that I'm sorry, but new furniture isn't a need, it's a luxury, and would you like to go out to dinner with me on Thursday, Mom? And I love you and did you like your Christmas gift I gave you that I put a lot of thought into?"

[Kirkrrr]

Thanks to everyone that responded. Your posts were very thought-provoking.

I pretty much decided to give her the money but have a talk over her spending habits. That seems to be the best thing to do.

Again, thanks for your responses.
Kirk