Cleaning lady steals from me -- can I go to the cops?

[Warik]

I have a better solution.

"Senora, tu robaste $1,000 mio. O me lo pagas o voy a llamar a immigracion y mandarte de nuevo para Mexico o de donde cono viniste a la velocidad de un jodio cohete."

Rehearse in front of the mirror.

After she pays you back, fire her and change your locks.

(Translation: "Ma'am, you stole my $1,000. Either you pay it back or I'm gonna call immigration and they're going to send you back to Mexico or wherever the [censored] you came from at the speed of rocket.")

[UncleSalty]

Does she have any family or friends in the country? If she's alone, I would recommend kidnapping her and torturing her to death in your basement.

[tonypaladino]

The cops don't care about her immigration status or your tax issues

[CardSharpCook]

You're not her emplyer, you are her client. You are paying for services, not employing somebody. Paying in cash is perfectly legal. No you don't have to file a report with the IRS every time you get your lawn mowed, oil changed, walls painted, or dick sucked.

[Blarg]

Sometimes the law sees things differently.

People are often determined as employees and file suit successfully on that basis. I used to work in a workers' comp /personal injury law firm and saw housemaids, house painters, and nannys regularly considered employees and thus able to file suit.

[vexvelour]

Go to the cops. They're not going to ask you how you paid her. You have proof she stole from you and that's that.

If you still decide you need a cleaning lady, go to a reputable place, like Merry Maids or something. That way you know they're at least citizens.

[Mr_J]

[ QUOTE ]
Every month we seem to find something else missing.

[/ QUOTE ]

And you couldn't see something like this coming? If you have some doubt, get a safe. If you felt pretty strongly, fire her arse.

Guys he can't really do anything about it if she's an illegal, since nobody will know where she is.

If I could find, the threaten deportation sounds good. If it was a guy I'd be happy to show him why it'd be smart to pay.

For me it's about the principle. The $1k doesn't matter so much.

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
Guys he can't really do anything about it if she's an illegal, since nobody will know where she is.


[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't know that illegal aliens have mastered the art of invisibility.

I appreciate everyone's responses. Except the guy who called me a rich [censored]. I am a poor, dirty [censored]. Which is why I need a cleaning lady. So he can go [censored] himself.

To clarify a few things:

1. We did not seek out to hire an illegal, and I don't have any reason to believe that she's an illegal. She's from Portugal. My fear is only that maybe I was supposed to do some sort of check before giving her any money, and I didn't want to get in trouble for not doing it if it turned out she was illegal. I have yet to meet an American cleaning lady in New Jersey. If you know one, tell her to PM me.

2. This happened several months ago. We told her to give us back the cash she stole plus the gift card. This is why I say that "every month" we find something else missing. It's been about 3 months. We terminated her 3 months ago, immediately upon finding out that she stole from us. We didn't have any idea of the magnitude until, like, this week, as more things turn up missing.

3. Proof -- I am pretty confident we can prove that she stole more than $100. Even if it boils down to her word against mine and my wife's, I like our chances. She's an admitted thief. Aside from a minor brush with the law that involved being caught in a local park with a penis enlarger, a tube of Astroglide lubricant, and a pekingese named "Toots Sweet", my background is clean.

4. I am going to the cops. Looks like it's just a time investment, and that I don't have anything to worry about on my end. I will seek the death penalty.

[mmbt0ne]

Everybody's saying you only have proof that she only stole $1k. Don't you have enough information to get the police to search her house, and possibly find your wife's clothes/jewelery/whateer?