If you are a professional poker player, what do you tell people?

TStoneMBD · #1 04-17-2005, 07:08 PM

I didn't know where to post this so I figured that here would be a good place.

I haven't had any other income other than poker for the past year, so I guess you can call me a professional poker player. I really don't care for the term, but I don't think there is a better way to classify me. Anyway, telling people that I play poker for a living doesn't seem to be the most effective method of grabbing some people's respect. I really don't care what most people think about me, but when what someone thinks about you matters what do you tell them?

This past weekend I went apartment searching in Connecticut and found some nice locations. I decided that it wouldn't be a very good idea to tell the apartment people that I am a professional poker player, so I went with web design. I know a little bit about it, and as long as whoever I'm talking to isn't very knowledgable, I could bluff it pretty well. However, I don't have a website, if they asked, and I didn't prepare a website address in advance. As you can probably guess, I'm a terrible liar to boot. Fortunately, noone asked.

I have money. It's not like I am going to have any problem paying these people for a year's lease, but as a 20 year old poker player, who is going to rely on my credibility unless they are desperate? I should have brought a bank statement with me. That would have been a good idea.

So after alot of searching, I finally found a nice place in East Haven. It's a 2 bedroom apartment inside of a complex in a very good area. $1054/mo. Fortunately, the person working at the main office was a fat chick about the same age as me. She seemed to have a crush on me, so as long as I didn't mess up too bad I was set. I actually messed up on a lie about my previous living address, but she didn't even care. Fortunately my credit check went well, and after she asked for a deposit and I flashed my roll of hundreds, I was in.

After finding out that I have no idea how to cook, she offered to show me the area and cook me pasta once I moved in. I don't know how I'm going to dodge that one.

Do any of you guys have any simliar stories, or suggestions for what to tell people in the future when situations like these occur?

GrannyMae · #2 04-17-2005, 07:11 PM

I finally found a nice place in East Haven. It's a 2 bedroom apartment inside of a complex in a very good area. $1054/mo......

....suggestions

move to west haven and save $200 a month off that rent.

as far as the "real" suggestions, i'll let other's elaborate.

Jeff W · #3 04-17-2005, 07:13 PM

Options trader?

Shoe · #4 04-17-2005, 07:16 PM

That you work with retards? Microbob had a good list.

TStoneMBD · #5 04-17-2005, 07:16 PM

yes this is a very good idea. however, i dont know enough about it, nor do i know anything about the current market. i think real estate owners would know far more about the market than they would about webdesign.

propervillain · #6 04-17-2005, 07:21 PM

Independent Contractor... Specifically I get paid to study human behavior during semi-social, albeit combative situations.

FlFishOn · #7 04-17-2005, 07:25 PM

Lies get you in trouble. Tell them the truth and offer to pay 4 months rent up front. Worked for me. My TRW was sh+t in every way but I got the apartment. Oh, and no 'job'.

When playing poker in a casino I tell folks I'm a bum. Almost the truth.

SuitedSixes · #8 04-17-2005, 07:27 PM

I work for Game and Fish.

slickpoppa · #9 04-17-2005, 07:32 PM

Yeah, just tell them the truth, but be willing to pay several months rent up front and provide them a copy of your bank statement (hopefully showing that you have a lot of money saved up).

MicroBob · #10 04-17-2005, 07:32 PM

Tell them you're a male-stripper.

It's more amusing/effective if you look like me:
34 y.o., 5'6", 170 and balding.

when I move out of my current dump I'm hoping I can just get away with paying a few months in advance....but doing that, especially with cash, and they will be more likely to think you are a drug-dealer.

If you live near a casino then you can say you are lining up a job as a dealer....but if they insist on confirming your employment than you're screwed. But if you think they are just asking curiously and kinda/sorta checking you out than obviously you could fake being a dealer fairly decently I would think.