Deep thoughts...

[elwoodblues]

Something along the lines of:

When it's raining out, I like to tell kids that it's because God is crying. When they ask Why is God crying, I respond: because of something you did.

[jakethebake]

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Something along the lines of:

When it's raining out, I like to tell kids that it's because God is crying. When they ask Why is God crying, I respond: because of something you did.

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Elwood!!! I knew you couldn't stay outta 00T forever.

[Slow Play Ray]

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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

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This was my choice. Definitely my favorite. That being said:

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

*Edit* Damnit, someone already used that one too. Screw you guys.

[SL__72]

When you die if they give you a choice between regular heaven and pie heaven you should choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if not... mmmmmm boy!

[Crimson]

Anything from the Stimutacs episode of sealab. Everyone should watch sealab.

So what am i supposed to do with all my good ideas then? Wash myself with them? Cause thats what soap is for...

[chuddo]

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her.

But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them.

At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

[LetYouDown]

I always liked:

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because...what is that thing?!"

I don't know why, I just always found it funny.

Also, these:

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.


If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.


Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

[Shajen]

I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.