Is alcohol the answer? If so, straighten me out OOT

[Blarg]

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I'll give this one a shot.

Practice makes perfect. The first few times I got drunk (when I was 15) I drank way too much, got really wasted and acted like a complete ass. You will learn to control your buzz.

Your body type and weight are key factors in determining how much you can drink. The average man is 6' and weighs 185 lbs. Generally a person of that size will absorb and process alcohol at a rate of about one beer/one shot per hour. Since most people drink faster than one beer an hour when they drink, the body cannot process the booze fast enough and that is why they feel buzzed. The bigger or smaller a person is will affect how much they can drink.

Alcohol affects everyone differently. It affects your inhibitions, your motor skills, your ability to think clearly and reasonably etc. You will need to drink fairly heavily a few times to know your limits and how you are going to feel.

You may not even like feeling drunk. It's not for everyone.

Hangovers suck ass. They are best prevented by:

Drinking sufficient amounts of water preflop. Gatorade also works wonders. I would say drink at least 1/2 gallon of water during the day before a night of drinking. Also a glass of H2O before going to sleep (if you have a girl in your room this will not cross your mind) helps.

Also before going to sleep take a couple asprins. This will prevent a headache in the morning. Avoid ibuprofin/motrins. They are bad for the liver as it is, but when combined with alcohol they are very bad for the liver.

The advice of cheese/meat products is poor. Those foods do not absorb alcohol well at all. Bread products are best. The best suggestion is a nice filling sub from Subway.

Foods like Mcdonalds hamburgers and fries are ok too, but for some people (like me) the grease mixed with liquor can give you mudbutt. Milder food works best.

Any food is better than no food though.

If I remember correctly:

Alcohol (and asprin) is absorbed into the bloodstream through the stomach. This is much different than most other drugs/foods. Usually the body absorbs nutrients through the intestine. This is why having food in your stomach that will absorb alcohol is important. Slowing the body's consumption of booze is critical.

Good luck and be safe.

PG

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Agree on some, not on others.

First, most guys are neither 6 foot nor 185 lbs.

Second, hydration is indeed key. I would add that it's a good idea to have a bottle of water by your bedside. Tossing and turning is standard when you've boozed it up, even if you don't remember it in the morning, because booze interferes with your deep REM sleep and keeps you in a lighter sleep state, easier to wake. When you wake, gulp some water whether you need to or not. One of the best ways to prevent feeling bad in the morning is to pee once or twice in the night -- hopefully not in your bed. Gulp that water down; your body is going to need it to process all that booze. Drink the water even if you don't feel you're thirsty.

The advice about meat and cheese is actually good because it stays in your gut for a while and calms it down. Bread doesn't absorb all that well once it's chewed down and in your stomach for a while, and is a much lighter food. It will be further down your gut turning into poop instead of up top still calming your stomach and absorbing toxins like harder to digest things will be.

Mudbutt is very hard to prevent if you eat much when still heavily boozed no matter what food it is. Your liver and digestive system are overwhelmed by the booze, and your body will just try to shoot the toxic sludge out instead of compress it and drain it dry of fluid as normally happens.

Which brings me to another major life point: Carry a few of those individually packaged moist towelettes wherever you go. Great for when there's no toilet paper or your ass is so splattered or gooed up that the crap will just dry and stick to it instead of coming off with toilet paper even if you're down there scrubbing away for a grueling half hour. Moist towelettes are incredibly useful. P.S. you'll weep tears to see how much brown you can get off your ass even after a normal firm poop has been gone after with toilet paper. Poops leave a lot of nasty with toilet paper no matter how fastidious you are. Moist towelettes will prove it to you easy. Give yourself a going over with one before you get laid, too.

[tonypaladino]

1. You don't need to drink if you really really don't want to. There is nothing wrong with not drinking.

2. Most people equate college with drinking, and a majority of your classmates will be binge drinkers.

3.If you decide not to drink, you will be limiting the social functions you will going to. some people can pull off going to a crazy party and not having a drink but still having a great time, but many would be uncomfortable in that situation.

3a. Going to a party where people are doing kegstands and getting superdrunk and just having a few drinks yourself is cool. I've done it, and many people do it.

4.
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Sophomore year of highschool before I even touched alcohol I was involved in a heavy concussion playing football with friends that left me conscious but "not there" for 6 hours. Easily the scariest couple of days in my life, waking up and having amnesia, remembering crap over again, losing all four front teeth, nast nasty situation.

I can't get past this episode whenever I get close to alcohol. I just have a fear of not being in control of my senses, so I've never gotten close to drinking too much.

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Even if you are stone drunk, falling on the floor passing out, it will not be neerly as bad as what you experienced with the concussion. You will just be really nauseous and have a wicked bad headache later on.

5. To start out, buy a six pack and just have 2 or 3 beers one night. Drink a glass of water after each one. Then you will realize that you'll be okay if you drink a little.

If you want to try hard liquor start out with some simple vodka drinks, screwdriver, vodka and cranberry, things like that.

Don't worry so much about the girls. It's only November. You still have more than 3 1/2 years of fun.

Enjoy!
TONY

[BoogerFace]

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I second that emotion

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They're all fact and no heart, and that's exactly what's pulling our country apart.

[Vish]

God damn, Blarg, that post was the most disturbing combination of disgusting and informative I've ever seen.

[gorie]

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I have gotten involved with four seperate chicks since college started and failed to get to third base with any of them.

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i am pretty sure singing this song to girls you're into will be the solution to your problems. however alcohol may lead to a better performance. don't forget to move your arms around a lot and point in various directions, including the sky. good luck.

[asofel]

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Euphemisms can be fun

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"power drill the furry love-gates with the nether rod"

Great site.

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Yah, I laughed at:

"ram-drive the fish supper with the yoghurt dispenser"

and I wrote the darn thing.

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batter dip the fiddle cove with the beef sabre

so dumb its cracking me up

[pokerjoker]

you don't need to drink to get girls.
Drinking helps you have sex with girls u wouldnt normally have sex with.

Just going to parties, whether ur sober or not should solve ur not getting tail problem.

Blacking out from drinking isint like being in a coma.

[KDawgCometh]

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I want so badly to fit in, bang normal chicks, have a good time. I plan on rushing in the spring.

I want to live the right college experience but with the way my life has panned out until now, I think I really gotta learn up or I could do something really stupid.

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clayton. I give you props for asking these questions and doing your best to change.

You will fit in with those you relate to best. Cliques don't really exist in college, you need to find those who you feel most comfortable around, and not force the issue. There is no such thing as a normal college experience, there is your college experience

I know that the greek system is big down there, but don't rush just to get laid. One night stands can be fun, but honestly, they don't solve anything. I have never had a GF and always took care of getting laid through one night stands. They haven't been satisfactory in the slightest. I have also drank plenty and done plenty of drugs, but that hasn't ever made me fully happy.

You are worrying way too much about this, just relax when you are with girls. Its a matter of numbers, the more you hook up with, the better chances you will have of getting your joint worked. Just loosen up(and by that I don't neccessarily mean get drunk) and have fun. You are a freshman in college, this is a time for you to try new things and go about things in different ways. Mainly, just have fun and don't try so hard clayton

Being blacked out is like having the camera still rolling, but with no film in it.

[JaBlue]

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haven't you ever run into somebody where you had no idea they were a christian, a vegetarian, didn't drink/take drugs, or whatever and they didn't call attention to themselves?

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This impresses me a lot too. Same if they politely decline drug or cigarette offers