My typical day

[FlFishOn]

You address 1/2 my argument. Daycare is often the selfish choice. That leads to self-deception.

A large portion of the 'Women's movement' has been the promotion of daycare in order to comfort the mom's that are urged to dump the kids in daycare and pursue a career at all cost. On of the costs is born by these kids. Their agenda coud easily influence their recommendations.

You also quote unreferenced social science to support your argument. When such science defies my common sense I weight it near zero.

[Sniper]

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But to say warehousing kids at a daycare 40 hrs is better than having a parent bring up a kids is insane. Next thing you will say is single parents familys are just as good as dual parent familys.

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There is no right answer to either of your two statements that works for every situation!!

The answer in both cases is, it depends on the totality of the circumstances.

[jrz1972]

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You address 1/2 my argument. Daycare is often the selfish choice. That leads to self-deception.

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Maybe when stay-at-home parents see day-cared kids speaking, reading, etc. at a level far beyond their own kids they engage in a little self-deception too.

Seriously, this kind of argumentation is stupid. If you want to argue that day care is bad, fine. Stick to logic and evidence, not psychoanalysis.

[TStoneMBD]

i read alot of this thread and im pretty disgusted with alot of the posts in it. you have a problem and rather then people give you a solution to that problem they are reprimanding you for sending your kid to daycare.

the best solution to your problem that ive heard is to hold off on playing poker until your kid starts going to preschool. i think that makes alot of sense. as the others have said its not a good situation to be putting your kid into daycare for almost an entire day.

at the start of the thread you said that you want your kid going to daycare to meet other children, but its sounding like that was just a poor justification for not raising your kid yourself.

it sounds like you are making more than 20k a year. that was your first year but as you said in the early months you didnt make much. you could probably clear 40k this year easily. youre not making peanuts and thats more money then your husband makes and a real step forward in getting to that house you want.

from what ive read you cant play poker with your kid in the house, its just not possible. if this was my predicament i think i would be dropping my kid off to daycare for 4 hours a day. during those 4 hours i play poker and pick him up immediately after. if im not going to play today the kid stays home with me. i dont think making the kid spend a few hours out of the house is a bad idea but i dont know much about children to know one way or the other. i dont know what your hourly rate is but clearly if you dont think you can make much more money then the price of daycare playing 28hours a week then you should probably hold off altogether and only play poker those times when your kid falls asleep early or something. you could also have somebody come to your house for 4 hours a day to look after the kid for you. maybe a family member or if you start doing really well with poker you could afford to pay someone $10/hr.

another solution to this problem is to move your computer into your bedroom and when your husband comes home from work you go into your bedroom so that your kid cant bother you. you play poker then and he takes care of the kid all by himself. clearly i think its best if he supports this idea rather than just laying the burden onto him. you dont want to create problems within your marriage.

the guy who told you to play after your kids go to sleep and sleep 5 hours a night is a boob.

you probably dont want your kid growing up in your small apartment which is understandable, so you either have to start making money now or your income needs to increase in the future so you can live in a nicer apartment which it will if you proceed in getting better at poker.

[Mempho]

Why are you unable to play the primetime shift more often? What goes on until 9pm? Is your husband unable to take care of your child three nights a week so that you can fit most of your play into this time....or does your husband play every night during this block?

[TrueBritt]

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My background: last worked in 2002 as a programmer. left to take care of new baby. Start playing poker April, 2004.

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Why do you take your kid to daycare???? Why not play poker around the times your kid sleeps and be full time mom. This gives you an advantage of not paying day care and being a better parent. You should easily get in those 4-6 hours of poker later at night and during nap times.

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[krimson]

I think the daycare argument going back and forth here is very black and white. Here is a useful website about daycares, that seems to be reprsentative of either side.

http://www.saferchild.org/daycarefaq.htm

Not everyone has the option or constitution to be a stay-at-home parent. But experts say - and Safer Child tends to agree - that staying at home for some or all of the first three years is generally better for the child. No matter how lousy a parent you feel you are, your child has a powerful and innate longing to be with you and to know that you want to be with him or her.

Personally, I think you have the option to be spending more time with your child, but you are playing poker instead. It seems that your priorities are a bit messed up. The good thing about playing poker for a living is the flexibility. There is no reason you can't have your kid at home, find a pre-school or similar environment to put him in a couple times of week, for a few hours, and get your poker in then, or while he's sleeping, etc etc. Plus, if you're playing 8 hours a day of 10/20, you should be making waaay more than 20k a year.

Also, I wouldn't be surprised if your husband resents the situations. Your a stay at home Mom, but skipping out the "Mom" part.

[FlFishOn]

"Maybe when stay-at-home parents see day-cared kids speaking, reading, etc. at a level far beyond their own kids "

Site your source or be gone. I believe not a word of it.

[WarBus]

My 2 cents:

There is no reason to feel guilty about playing cards.

I understand the need for day care. Spending 7 days a week with a small child can drive anyone loopy so time away is actually beneficial.

The benfit of poker is that you can play whenever you want and if you are even a moderate winner 4 tabling can bring in a fair amount of money. 20 hours a week as a 1 BB winner is $800. Not bad for a part time job.

They key is how to make the most of your freedom. Maybe send your child to day care 3 days a week and adjust your poker time.

Example:

Monday:
Day care, 3 hours afternoon poker. 3 hours evening poker.

Tuesday:
Kid stays home. Evening poker optional.

Wednesday:
Day care, 3 hours afternoon poker. No poker so you can watch Lost.

Thursday:
Kid stays home. Evening poker optional.

Friday:
Day care, 3 hours afternoon poker. 3 hours evening poker.

Saturday:
Kid stays home. 3 hours evening poker.

Sunday:
Kid stays home. Evening poker optional.

18 hours of poker. Use the optional nights to make up the 2 hours plus any times where you take an afternoon or a poker night off.

Total:
20 hours of poker. Lots of free time with your child and husband. Enough time away from your child to keep you sane. Enough evenings free for the possiblity of a night out with your husband. A decent part time job with a very flexible schedule. A good paycheck even after the cost of daycare.


Warbus

Note:
I have my 2 kids (6 & 9) 5 months a year. Poker is my only source of income. I play about 70 - 80 hours a month when I have them and 100 when I don't. My kids are older and a little more adept at entertaining themselves plus my girlfriend (does not work) takes care of their needs/questions during my afternoon sessions. The amount of time I have to take them places and do things with them is amazing.

[kiemo]

Great discussion here. Can we talk about religion, abortion, and tipping wait staff next!