$2,000,000,000

[Supersetoy]

I hate to fly, so I'd buy 3 of the most expensive tour buses available. Then I'd fill 2 of them with armed body guards, and 1 with me and multiple strippers and some of my lucky friends.

Of course, we'd get tired of the strippers we had, so we'd travel across the country, nay, the world (our buses would go on ships that I would also purchase) and purchase other stippers from new clubs and drop the old ones off. The whole time they would be stripping or dancing and if not doing either they would be finger banging one another.

I'd then purchase everything on craig's list, including craig's list so that no one could use the site anymore.

I'd hire a bunch of lawyers, lobbyists, and people to start iniatiatives so I could create laws that I saw fit. I would also use these people to bitch slap anyone who had a ring tone on their cell phone I found unfit, then use them to protect me from litigation.