Proof of the Spaghetti Theory

[Bork]

"THE ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT FOR FSM

P1. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a being which has every perfection.
P2. Existence is a perfection.
C. Therefore, the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.

THE COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT FOR FSM (KALAM STYLE)

P1. Everything that begins to exist has a cause of its existence.
P2. The universe began to exist.
P3. Therefore, the universe has a cause of its existence.
P4. Since no scientific explanation can provide a causal account of the
origin of the universe, the cause must be supernatural, i.e. a god.
C1. Therefore, a god exists.
P5. Gods create humans in their own image.
P6. The brains of humans resemble a bowl of spaghetti.
C2. Thus, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one true god.

ANOTHER ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT FOR FSM

P1. I conceive of a being than which no greater can be conceived.
P2. If a being than which no greater can be conceived does not exist, then I
can conceive of a being greater than a being than which no greater can be
conceived, namely, a being than which no greater can be conceived *that
exists*.
P3. I cannot conceive of a being greater than a being than which no greater
can be conceived.
C1. Thus, a being than which no greater can be conceived exists.
P4. If that being does not have a Noodly Appendage, then I can conceive of a
being greater that being, i.e. a being *that has a Noodly Appendeage*.
C2. Thus, a being than which no greater can be conceived has a Noodly
Appendage.
C3. Therefore, a being than which no greater can be conceived has a Noodly
Appendage and exists, that is, the Flying Spaghetti Monster exsits. RAmen!"
--Brian D. Rabern, Department of Philosophy, UC Santa Barbara