Learning Weird Stuff About Yourself

[Gunny Highway]

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When I was in the Army every Native American was called "Chief". Some didn't mind, others did a war dance.

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I can understand why the really, really uptight ones wouldn't like it

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[Blarg]

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She also said I was speaking in complete sentences before I was a year old. They tried to get me to skip a grade or even two when I was in grade school a few times, and to sign me up for college when I was in high school, but each time my parents wanted none of it.

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im like this, only my parents chose to skip grades rather than not. made a huge, huge difference.

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Cool, I wish it had been that way for me. If I would ever have kids, I'd let them go for it and try to reach the heights of their abilities. I'd be thrilled for them.

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I was in the same boat as you Blarg, I'm so so happy that my parents didn't let me skip grades. I didn't really grow up and stop being a complete dick till about 17-18 and while I might have been forced to before then if I'd skipped grades, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun and I doubt I'd be enjoying myself as much as I am now.

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I think these things always come down to the fact that there is a price to be paid no matter what you do, and we can always see the price we paid for taking our path, and will often feel the pain acutely, but it's much harder to see the price we might have paid if we had done things differently, and almost impossible to give it anywhere near the ranking of what we've actually experienced in real life.

Giving less than fair credit to the other good sides and bad sides we weren't exposed to is basically how things work.

And, critically, it is nearly impossible to have a life without regrets, and to take them hard, and to imagine that things could have somehow been much better.

What really happens in life is that most of us will have a fair share of regrets, pain, embarrassment, and disappointment. This will happen no matter what path we go down, because growing up is a hard and sometimes lonely task, and that's how life works. We'll tend to ascribe it correctly to our own circumstances and what we did in them, but it's very hard for most of us to admit that we would have had failings and disappointments if things had gone other ways, too. Nobody likes to think that way really, especially as regards the potential and happiness of kids(even ones not themselves), but that's the way life is. Growing up is all about fitting in and then not fitting in, making constant social adjustments, some good some bad, some successful and some not, some not successful through no fault of our own(i.e., there are plenty of jerks in life, even if you're a great kid), and life just happening in ways that are out of your control and not always good.

We're all pretty much guaranteed a certain slice of misery and doubt growing up. There's no path available that will eliminate it; it's just life. And it's not the only part of it, just sometimes the most memorable part, so we sometimes are tempted to imagine things would have been vastly better, "if only."

But basically nothing is guaranteed. You can't promise or guarantee your kid happiness no matter what he does. The world is not that simple and controllable a place. So all you can do is send him off into it with all your love and support and hope he weathers it well and that you can work it out with him when the inevitable storms arise.

I'd rather have my kid not waste as many years doing nothing as I did, bored into stupefaction or outright falling asleep on his desk. That's just warehousing kids. School is for developing them, and they'll never have a better chance to charge up their still growing brains. It will never be easier or faster. Smart kids can be voracious about acquiring knowledge and very happy to do it, and very stunted from not having the chance.

Why is it we bend over backwards and freak out about our kids doing well in Little League, and are willing to spend all the time and effort in the world on that, but are in comparison indifferent to the development of their minds?

If I had a kid I'd want him to develop as many capacities as he could and wanted to. I'd support that to the very best of my ability and understanding. And I wouldn't expect him to come out of any part of life unscathed or think I could guarantee that to him. I'd just be telling him, Go for it, kid, kick some ass in this world. Your mom and I are thrilled to death just that you're trying, much less succeeding here and there, and we can't wait to see what happens next and help if we can.

I think a kid's potential is a terrible thing to waste. It's a great thing and you need it in this world, a lot. And a lot of kids don't really have all that much. If your kid can achieve and wants to do it, more power to him and let's see where he goes.

[Blarg]

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um, they actually can be mutually exclusive, since alot of social situations arent abled to be reasoned out like someone with a science mind would want to...

I have a genius cousin, total [censored].

My iq is near the same as his, however where he is completely engineering minded, Im more the creative type... maybe there's a link there?

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This describes me and my cousin exactly. He's socially really loopy. Particular types of great intelligence tend to be like that more, I think.

[Blarg]

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People who are intellectually ahead, are usually more socially competent as well.

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Where did you get this from? In my experience, people who are intellectually ahead are more socially conscious and can understand what's going on around them, but are frequently far less socially competent in terms of general interaction.

I'd quite like to see a source if you have one and see how "competence" is defined.

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There are some pretty intelligent people who are not socially conscious at all. I don't even see how the two really fit together.

craig

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You can find intelligent people that are very socially competent and very incompetent. But in general I think intelligent people are given more reason to have confidence in themselves when they're young and this carries into their adult lives. Social skills are often a byproduct of confidence. People tend to pick out the intelligent eccentric freaks and act like they're the norm for some reason. Maybe it makes stupid people feel better about themselves.

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I think both these things are very true. If you want to stunt your kid's growth and screw him up, keep telling him he can't handle social situations. After a while, there's a very good chance it will be true. An unconfident person can't do anything right socially and might not even try, and a confident person can often succeed despite being a total assclown, and if he doesn't, won't take so hard that it freaks him out or keeps him from gamely trying again next time.

And people do tend to ostracize anyone who is different for any reason. Especially in school. We all know the junior high school boiler room of frantic conformity, competitive ostracism, and bitchy cliqueishness. Anything or anyone "different" is absolutely abhorred.