Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[Al_Capone_Junior]

Hey Beavens, we all know you don't come to vegas to...

sleep

be sober

exercise a great deal of quality self control when it comes to gambling while drinking

Hell, the first time (when I was a tourist) I played at mandalay bay I was so confused it took me about an hour to find my car! Most of that time was trying to find the parking garage, and I even asked directions three times [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]! Don't even ask about trying to find my car at caesar's! [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] Now I know why tourists are better off taking cabs!

al

[Wolf101]

Some years back I found myself in Florida with friends. We got completely hammered and ended up taking the flight to Freeport to gamble. The deal was, you have to keep $15 bucks airport tax or whatever to get back out of the country.

So it was like a twenty minute flight, but in that time, I realize my ex-wife is one of the flight attendents. She starts harrassing me about her new boyfriend, who was actually the freakin pilot. So now I'm hammered and pissed off and humiliated when I get to the casino.

I blow my roll in less than thirty minutes playing craps. Now everyone knows how it sucks to be in a casino with no money while all your friends are having fun, so I say screw it, I'll bet my last $15, it's not like my friends are going to leave me behind.

I started playing blackjack and I couldn't lose. I was so hammered I wasn't even playing basic strategy...just doing whatever...all kinds of goofey hits. Next thing I know, I'm up a couple of thousand bucks! All my friends are hovering around the table hooting and hollering. I was demanding shots of tequila and getting them.

While this whole scene is going on, I manage to get some chick to sit on my lap "for luck" and I'm giving her some chips to play with and she starts hammering shots as well.

We had to be back at the plane at 3:00AM, having arrived around 6:00PM and it turns out the drunk chick is on the plane as well. The plane is basically empty and completely dark and I start groping her and before I know what's going on my ex-wife realizes I'm getting head under a blanket right there for her to see. It was priceless.

I ended up winning about two grand, had a little action and when I finally got home and went to bed I heard my roomate screaming. I ran in there to find that the cat had taken a huge dump on his pillow while we were gone. For some reason, that remains the best memory of the night for me.

What a great night. It's been -EV ever since.

Over a year ago around Christmas I had one of my favorite nights of poker ever. During a long session of 20-40 at Borgata my friend comes over to me and says he's cashing out (he was playing 80-160) and that I should do the same and go have some fun. So I'm up over 2 dimes and it sounds like a good idea.

I walk up to the cage to cash out and he has one of those little food carts pulled up there and he is loading it with rack upon rack of white chips. He grabs one of my racks of red and hands it to the cashier and asks for five more racks of white. So we have this cart loaded up with like fifteen racks of white chips and we wheel it over to the 2-4 table. On the way over he says play as tight as you can for the first down and then we'll have some fun.

We take seats on opposite ends of the table and unload our racks. It took about fifteen minutes of building for each of us to construct massive pyramids of chips on the table. We are ordering drinks and just enjoying the confused looks of the 2-4 grinders. Then the dealers change and Anthony sits down. For those that dont play there Anthony is a really great guy with a good sense of humor. He is a giant black man with a booming voice and infectious laugh. Well he knows us pretty well and he almost falls over laughing when he sees us there with our pyramids and cocktails. He says to the table "ok seatbelt time kids".

First hand dealt we get it capped preflop, cap the flop, cap the turn and are heads up on the river. I bet, he raises, I 3-bet, he announces that I must be bluffing and goes to 4, I claim he's making a move and go to 5, and on and on until we've put 12 bets in on the river and I take the pot down with J high to beat his 9 high.

He pretends to storm away from the table and comes back from the cage with five more racks. We are raising every chance we get and the table starts trying to keep up with us but they are clueless doing things like calling 2 turn bets but folding to the cap or calling all the way and folding on the river when my most likely holding is 7 high. Then on one hand I go 3 bets on the river against this 40 something asian woman who calls my 3rd bet and says "what you got?" I reply "I don't know I haven't looked yet." Which was true. I turn over 74os for a runner runner straight and yell "Yahtzee!" So she starts screaming and calls the floor. She and another nit in the game are now complaining that we're ruining the game. If it's possible to "ruin" a 2-4 game I'm pretty sure trying to dump a few hundred dollars worth of super loose action into the game is not how it's done. So the floorman Bruce flags us and we're cutoff. We rack up and go and upon doing so discover that we are both up, I managed to win over $100 in the game. I throw the dealer a pile of white chips that didn't fit in the rack and that was that until we got to the cage.

My friend manages to dump over the cart in front of the cage spilling what is now over twenty racks of white chips on the floor. I wish I had a picture of his drunk ass sitting there surrounded by over 2000 chips crying from the laughter.

It was a fun night.

[beavens]

haha - i love these stories!!

during the same trip as my drunken debacle:

my friend and i had just flown in from DC at about 12am vegas time. so after the drive up to DC and the flight, we were pretty tired. but we just got to vegas for the first time ever and to top it off, we decided to not book the room for that night - save money by just checking in the next day! hell, we only had to pull an allnighter - and this is vegas baby!

needingly to refuel, we hit up denny's and get some grub. needless to say, it was incredible.

after "dinner", we hit the strip to check things out. my friend had never been in a casino, so we poked our heads in Treasure Island, but didn't see anything we really liked. then we ended up in the Mirage, and decided to play a little 1-2 NL.

played until about 5am or so and decided to call it quits. i was up about only 15 and my friend was down some - no worries. at this point we have a little booze in us and are still pretty tired/jetlagged. time to explore some more.

went around a few more casinos and decided to check out Caesar's and the shops they had (remember this is at like 5:45am and they were all closed). we walked through the shops and whatnot, then walked back to the casino to leave.

ok, maybe blame it on the slightly drunk and majorly tired factor - but could NOT FIND THE EXIT!!

we saw a place that said 'exit', but there were 8 million "THIS IS NOT AN EXIT" signs around it!! we walked all over the casino looking for one - no luck. we went into the hotel - no luck. even walked around where the pool is! (apparently you weren't supposed to be there at that houe) there seemed to be a few construction exits, but we didnt want to risk it. so back in the casino we go.

we saw how we got IN the place - the escalators. but where were the ones going out?? we saw our only option - run up the 'going down' escalator. my friend managed without a problem to make the jump and begin the the downward stairs. i wasn't so lucky - i stumbled when i landed, but upon sight of those metal teeth i was able to correct myself and regain control. we then made our way going opposite of the moving sidewalks and finally exited back onto the strip. we were never the same after Caesar's, and i dont want to go into that death trap again!

we figure we were too tired to do anything else, so let's go and wait at the hotel until we can check in. no worries right?

well we get to the Riviera at about 7 or so - feeling ok.

thing that sucks about the Riviera - not much going on. lots of slots and old people. their poker 'section' is kinda a joke. the wait to check in was probably the worst time i've ever had. i was beyond tired, my legs were twitchy and ached, and we had nothing to do. for hours we'd walk around, come back to the sportsbook, pass out for a few minutes, walk around, wait - rinse and repeat.

finally it was nearing 11am and my friend was about to get in from colorado. we were so tired that we just sat in the lobby, right next to the elevators, waiting for him. people would come out the elevators and look down upon us with pity and resent. i swear we felt like second class citizens. one older woman even came up and asked "did they kick you boys out??" - classic. so finally our knight in shining armor walks through the door at about 12pm or so. we were psyched to see him, cause the room was in his name.

lo and behold - check-in isnt until FOUR PM!! [censored]! no way would could last that long! we felt defeated and on the brink of tears.

lucky for us, mgt decided to let people check in at 1pm instead. relieved, we got our bags from the captain and waited in line. as soon as we get in the room, my colorado friend asks if we want to get any food? we say "hell no", crank up AC, and pass out for a delicious 5 hours or so.

upon waking we took on vegas like it meant to be taken on.

great trip and well worth the losses in gambling!

[UATrewqaz]

Short and sweet.

My first trip to Tunica I've been playing up in the poker room at the Gold Strike for about 5-6 hours and finally make it downstairs at maybe 3 am to meet up with my friend who has probably had like 10 jack and cokes in the past hour or two.

He's like attempting to flirt with one of the drink girls who in fairness has a pretty decent body... and also two big brownish/blackish teeth that are very crooked.

Ah Mississippi.

[etgryphon]

[ QUOTE ]
The "I woke up with three grand more than I had last night and have no idea how it happened" stories are always my favorite for some reason.

[/ QUOTE ]

...to which I always say, "Is your ass sore?"

-Gryph

[ QUOTE ]
VORP
Could you tell me which was the case:

1. People laughing with me.

2. People laughing at me.

I remember case 1 but I admint my memory is not so clear.

Were you playing or dealing?

Any funny lines you remember would be appreciated. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I pretty much just saw #1. Of course, there were the occasional looks of stunned disbelief when you dragged pot after pot with 74o. I was dealing when you had the spelling contest with the Canadian couple. A few hours later I saw the Canadian women again and she told me all about that massive hand. She had the 99 and was really good natured about it.

I dealt a somewhat similar 4/8 table the other day where a drunk guy was raising/re-raising blind and going on a huge rush. At one point he raises blind and this very sober player stops before acting and asks me if the raiser looked at his cards. I tell him I don’t know. So he asks the guy. The drunk raiser finds this really funny and just starts laughing. Sober guy turns back to me and demands, “I need to know if he looked at his cards.” Funny stuff.

[mblax10]

[ QUOTE ]
During this time he goes to play craps (he has no idea what the rules are) Wins 2000 by hitting bulshit like hard 12, snake eyes, and other longshots,

[/ QUOTE ]

If he was hitting soft 12's I'd really be impressed.

[willie]

this thread is the nuts.


i wish i drank when i played, then maybe i'd have a story like this....guess i'm kinda businesslike.

[Riverman]

"If he was hitting soft 12's I'd really be impressed."

Read my post. "He starts playing CRAPS." Hard 12 as in rolling 2 sixes which pays 30-1.