Anyone with a similar story?? (Long)

[Brad F.]

I've been thinking about poker a lot this week. Hopefully didn't affect my 9-5 too much. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I really am wondering how many of the players out there (especially those that play for a consistent salary, aka about 500 a month) if you had a period before you became successful which you were too eager to get to that point of consistent success.

My story: I'm 22 years old. Back in the Fall had a friend more or less give me about 200 bucks at poker stars. He just told me "Buy me a boat someday." He makes on average about 300 dollars a week playing 2/4 NL and some tourneys.

I managed to gain lots of experience, realizing A-J off suit is NOT a raising hand UTG, and minor steps like that. Realized that slowplaying sets isn't always right, going all-in on ragged flops with aces is scared, et cetera. Normal first steps.

I managed to lose that 200 dollars and decided to use some birthday money to continue playing in October. Again, I just started playing in August, so just two months of playing, I'm definitely not an expert. I did get 100 bucks up to 400, but started playing at limits too high for my roll and lost it easily. I continued to thinkn about poker in a lot of my freetime and thought I was really understanding the game.

I took January-February off for the most part, just playing with UB points and watching some tourneys of my friends. I played some home games for fun, and read Hellmuth's book (bleh), Sklansky's TPFAP, and McEnvoys books. I really was thinking well about poker, realizing the importance of FE, implied odds, et cetera.

Late Feb and early March I kept depositing 50-75 bucks into Poker Stars, telling myself "Build a bankroll". I'd get it up to about 250-300 sometimes, but then I would go up levels, lose one pot, go on semi-tilt where I would reraise bluff like CRAZY, and eventually would lose my roll. Instead of using the knowledge I had built up I played in the moment. I'd convince myself that players were bluffing all the time, only to be drawing dead on the flop all-in. Nice. This would occur in both cash games and tourneys. I knew in the back of my head my play was wrong often. I just wanted to build a big roll and play in the big games.

So I talked to my wife, honest about what I had wasted on poker (I hadn't really been exactly honest up to this point. "I won a free tourney honey....")

She wasn't happy of course, I wasn't happy. I loved poker. So I took another break, asked her in April if I could deposit 25 bucks, and I did. I tripled up on Absolute in 2 hours, and because I was feeling good I entered a 30+3 tournament. I took second and cashed 385 dollars. Nice. Roll up to 435. I wrote a report about this tourney on 2+2.

Next day I played some at school and after work, got up to 500. I let people bluff into me like crazy. I had a lot of hands like Colson had in his ME. Check, call all-in with the nuts or close to. It was great.

The next day, I entered that 30+3 tourney again and again took 2nd place. Roll up to 800, and eventually later that week to 1100. Awesome.

So out of respect for my wife and the fact we were moving to Texas, I cashed out 700 of that. 25 into 700 ain't bad in 7 days.

Guess what? I lost the last 400 playing at crazy limits. What is my freaking problem, I know.

So more or less that brings me to where I am today. Yesterday I played a 500 FPP 3-table SAG satellite and won it. Last week I entered a 14+1 2 table SAG satellite and won it. I played in one Sunday tourney and bluffed off my stack. I unregistered this time, and now this is what I have:

140 bucks in tournament dollars. That's it. Nothing else in my roll because I bluffed it away in omaha this morning.

Yesterday in the 500 FPP tourney we were 5-handed and I was the chip leader. I found AQ in the BB, and a semi-tight button player raised me in the SB. I reraised, and he pushed his stack which was about 3/5 of mine. My hand was on the call button and I stopped and though. "I'm playing absolutely terrific poker, he's been building his stack playing tight. I can wait for a better spot." And I folded. He showed QQ.

I can play fantastic poker. I know that I can't prove that by talking about a couple hands in any way shape or form. But when I'm considering every hand and what my opponents hold, FE, implied odds, meanings behind bets, I'm a great player. However, I SO OFTEN go into cruise control and play CRAZY fast. I was the chip leader with 24 people left in a stud H/L tourney last night and I got involved with the second stack at my table and bluffed away almost my whole stack. I just kept hitting the bet button.

As I stated, I only have the 140-145 tourney dollars left. I seriously don't ever want to deposit again. I'm tired of this. I'm probably about even money the past 9 months, but I have been down about 450 the past couple months probably.

I know I need to stop bluffing so much obviously. That goes without saying. But I'm hoping you all can look behind my bluffs and poor play and help me get rid of the root behind the poor play. I don't know what exactly it is that makes me want to bluff at pots I have no business taking stabs at or trying to resteal with nines PF when I know my opponent has a good hand. I feel as if I have a Jekyl and Hyde inside of me, and that the Hyde keeps taking over the more I play.

Anyone have similar stories, or advice for me? What do you advise with my 'roll' that I have now. Any and all help that you all can give me would be VERY appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Brad Ficek

[Pat Southern]

Sounds like you tilt really easily. Read John Feeney's "Inside the Poker Mind"

[Roland32]

Pretty good post. I see alot of myself in that post. I have been playing poker for a long time now and am now farely infamous for doing the same thing. I never play within my bankroll requirements and tilt easily. Subtle tilt is the worse because you really dont believe you are at the time.

My advice for you is, when you figure it out, let me know.

I also read Inside the Poker Mind right when it came out but to know avail.

[A_PLUS]

Sounds like you like "action" more than you like poker.

I think it is common to get ahead of yourself in terms of bankroll. I do it every time I have a big win or a good week. But I have the benefit of not really caring too much about the money. I love to win, but all I do is blow it on stuff for my family and GF. What worries me is that you arent just playing over your head, but just playing bad. Unfortunately, playing poker successfully (for those of us without brilliant natural ability) is as much about discipline and consistency as it is about anything else.

If you regularly blow up from your A to F game playing cash games, guess what. You are a losing player. Tournaments are a slightly different animal, b/c if your downside is limitted per session.

I would suggest Barry Greensteins book, he deals with all of these things.

Your problem is an impulse control issue, not a poker issue. If you cant control yourself no advice is going to help. Dont feel bad, I think most players struggle with similar issues (myself definitely included). Its the nature of the beast, we spend all of our free time playing poker afterall. Good luck

[RavenJackson]

If it is any consolation, I suspect a high number of on-line players have similar stories [although you only seem hear the success stories]. There are numerous posts on twoplustwo on bankroll management, which may be helpful.

Good luck.

[RavenJackson]

[ QUOTE ]
Your problem is an impulse control issue, not a poker issue. If you cant control yourself no advice is going to help. Dont feel bad, I think most players struggle with similar issues (myself definitely included). Its the nature of the beast, we spend all of our free time playing poker afterall. Good luck

[/ QUOTE ]

nh

[cadillac1234]

Hate to say it but your story is the reason that there are so few winning poker players. Too quick a jump in limits destroys bankrolls just as much as poor play does.

One thing that has kept me profitable over the years is the complete lack of ambition to move up limit levels in poker. WTF do I want to risk ruin playing over my head when I can book consistent nice wins playing in the shallow end?

[A_PLUS]

[ QUOTE ]
Hate to say it but your story is the reason that there are so few winning poker players. Too quick a jump in limits destroys bankrolls just as much as poor play does.

One thing that has kept me profitable over the years is the complete lack of ambition to move up limit levels in poker. WTF do I want to risk ruin playing over my head when I can book consistent nice wins playing in the shallow end?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you are just playing like a part time job, this is the route. But for most non-pros like myself, this is a bad move. I want to get to the point where I can compete at a world class level. I am realistic about where I am and where I want to be (If 10 is world class, I am quickly aproaching 4 [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]). So, jumping limits can cost you money, but if you arent a full time pro, and can afford a deposit or two if you go broke, there are many worse things than taking a crack at a higher limit. The OPs problem is with tilt more than anything

[Brad F.]

Thanks for the replys. Does anyone think keeping a detailed poker journal is helpful? Also, any specific advice with my tournament dollars?

[durron597]

You sound a LOT like me except I'm about 100x better at bankroll management than you.

1) Knows can beat game
2) Gets on tilt easily
3) Donks off $$$ easily
3a) Believes everyone is bluffing
3b) Believes everyone will resteal
3c) Impatient

This month my roll on Stars went from $300 to $70 and back to $375 now. Fortunately I had the discipline to play $6.50 turbo SnGs when I got below $100 [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] Otherwise I'd be broke now.

Good story.