How's this for a house rule??

[AKQJ10]

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My other rule is, give me the $500 pot and only then will I let go of my cards.

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That's the best general policy IMO, and a habit I'm glad to have picked up every time I see a rules controversy regarding showing (or not showing) hands.

To draw an analogy: in some states, the pedestrian always has right of way. But if you walk in front of a car traveling 55 mph, your relatives probably aren't going to get much joy from prosecuting the driver for vehicular homicide. In other words, theoretically being in the right is no substitute for vigilance. The dealer still has every responsibility should push the pot to owner of the best hand shown down, regardless of whether said owner is busy with the drinks. But as the OP's friend found out it's scant consolation that they weren't doing their job when the other guy is racking your chips and running for the door.

I'd probably report it to the poker room manager and play somewhere else if you can, unless you're satisfied by their response.