Do you talk trash to your monitor?

[winky51]

Hand: JJ
Flop: 2h 2c Jc

Brain: (calculates whether to check raise or bet, figures pot odds, determines opponents hands, checks GT+), I bet 4 folds fish calls.

Hand: JJ
Turn: 2h 2c Jc 6h

Brain: (figures all possible hands for fish, probably picked up a draw or has a pair, he'll pay you off) I bet, fish calls.

River: 2h 2c Jc 6h 3h
Brain: (Hope he hit something), I bet, fish raises (could he have quads? Well its one hand only) I reraise, fish CAPS, I call hoping I don't see quads ready to concede defeat).

Fish shows: 4h5h for the straight flush

Mouth: (M$&$%*! F$!@$# God D$%! Dumb ass Son of a bitch. Man why do I get F$*!ed like this all the time. Thats the 6th FH that got busted in 7 hands) Fist hits the table hard scaring the dog into a corner with his tail between his legs. Wife jumps out of her computer chair startled by the whole incident yelling out my full name with middle initial.

Fingers: type "nh".

That sounds familiar, especially the part about the dog hiding.

I make it up to her, though, when she gets to do the "victory dance" with me.

[Felipe]

My first Royal Flush at absolute I was ecstatic!!!!! I was screaming at the top of my lungs pressing Alt+Print Screen ten million times to capture the event!

When I lose I just play better next hand! Learning to take losses well is better than taking winning streaks well. IMO...

[idrinkcoors]

Yes I do. Me last night playing PP.

Monitor: "Why do you keep playing that crap?"

Me: "You got a problem with my play?"

Monitor: "Yeah, you loose/weak punk. And would it kill you to change the screen saver every once in a while? Huh?"

Me: "Who do you think you're talking to? You 17 inch low resolution Bxxxch!"

Monitor: "If I wasn't a flat screen, I'd cold clock your sorry ass."

Me: "Oh yeah? Well I've seen better looking montiors at the public library."

Monitor: "By the way, I loved your wife's fingers last night."

Me: "Keep it up, and I swear I will 'accidently' spill Coke on you."

He shut up after that.

[ QUOTE ]
My wife finally had enough of me today as I interrupted her reading time with my taunting and maniacal laughter while playing online. I think the last straw was when I yelled to the dog that I was going to anally rape the weak/loose player I ended up heads up with.

I just can't seem to help myself. I'm never this way in live games, and I never berate anyone in the comment box. For some reason, though, I can't seem to stop myself from yelling things at the monitor. Usually, it's some bragging taunt when I'm running good.

I'm not saying it's a problem or anything (well, maybe for my wife). I actually enjoy blowing off steam this way, and I've discovered that there's some part of me that loves bullying people around a poker table. It's like my one opportunity in life to be a total pr!ck and not have to feel guilty about it.

Anyway, SNGs are fun, especially pushbotting.

FOLD! FOLD! FOLD, MY SCARED LITTLE WEAKIES!!!!! PLAY FOR THIRD!!!! MUHAHA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

It's ok, I've heard Phil Ivey is the exact same way.

[tonypaladino]

When I'm playing a table of weak-tights at Absolute, and I bet with [censored] on the river with a ragged board, knowing these m'fers will fold middle pair 90% of the time ,I point my finger right at their avatar and say "fold you little bitch, you know you're gonna fold it"

[ QUOTE ]
I point my finger right at their avatar and say "fold you little bitch, you know you're gonna fold it"

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha! I love it!

I bet you follow up with something like, "Get used to it muthafocker, I'm going to be pushing you around all night! All night, baby!!!!"

[smartalecc5]

When I bluff, I slowly start a chant "fold, fold, fold, fold," and then pick up more speed and volume until they take their turn. If they fold I scream [censored] yeah Kevin, that's what im talking about!

If they call, I put my hnads on my face and mummer shiiiiitttt