An insight into online tilt

[Derek in NYC]

I just took a horrible beat online, one of many this evening. After the hand was over, I did something I have never done before. I stood up, screamed, and punched a hole through the drywall. My wife was (justifiably) horrified, and I was surprised at my own behavior.

Why did I behave so strangely? During live games, I consider myself to be a controlled player. Sure, I get frustrated, but I try very hard to project no external clues about my emotional state. I take my bad beat, say nice hand sir, and move on. I can drop 100 big bets in a live session, and while I will be frustrated (and perhaps even a bit LAGgy), I dont want my enemies to know how I am feeling.

My wife and I talked about why I had lost control. She observed that my live play is much more controlled than my online play. She suggested that the reason for this was that in live play, I make a very deliberate effort to stay emotionally centered. If other players perceive you to be on tilt, they start taking shots at you (isolation raises, calling your bluffs down, etc.) Online, by contrast, unless the betting patterns are uncharacteristically aggressive, it is harder to tell if a player is on tilt. You cant see him fling his cards at the muck, roll his eyes, mutter under his breath, abuse the dealer, etc.

Thus, my wife suggested that when I play online, I'm often not bothering to keep my emotions under control, at least the same way I try to project deliberate stoicism in live play. In fact, my whole demeanor online tends to be more relaxed... I may have the TV playing in the background, I may chat on IM, I might be sitting around in my underwear, I slouch, etc.

My wife hypothesized that since Im not trying to deliberately control my emotions during online sessions, I am more tilt prone. I thought this was an interesting hypothesis. It seems true in my case. Discuss.

[yoadrians]

Hey man. I hear you. It's MUCH easier for me to throw my 40 oz. cup of Dew into the wall down in my basement office than it would be at the $3-$6 table at Canterbury, because ...

a) I won't offend anyone else
b) I won't get tossed out of anywhere
c) I won't get arrested
d) I won't show how irritated I am and allow people to play off me

The last time I blew up online, I banned myself for a couple of days ... kind of a self-imposed punishment, AND I'm sure it helped me collect my thoughts and emotions, as I wasn't mentally fit to play.

[Bodhi]

Yes, it's much easier to act like a jerk when no one can see you.

err, I'm not calling you a jerk. I get steamed online too sometimes (like last night when I lost to K5s when the donk cc 3 bets preflop and caught a backdoor flush [no overcard either] in a 25 bet pot). [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Derek in NYC]

The point Im making isn't so much that it is easier to act like a jerk when you're alone, but rather, that it is easier to act like a jerk when you are not consciously, constantly trying to avoid giving off any emotions whatsoever. In live play, I try to appear like a robot, win or lose. In online play, I am much closer to my "normal" self (i.e., borderline jerk, I guess).

[Luv2DriveTT]

Oh. That was the big hole in the wall. I should have guessed [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Knowing you the way I do Derek (which is not very good at all in real life, but close enough to know I know you better than 99% of the people at 2+2)I am actually surprised to hear that you have fallen victim to tilt. Get yourself together, don't do anything to jeopardize your personal world with your wife.

Also.... you spend far to much time thinking about poker at work. You need to separate your worlds a bit more, provide a buffer for sanity's sake.

You are very lucky to have an understanding wife, she obviously wants you to succeed at poker, consider yourself very lucky. Next time a hand infuriates you that much, remind yourself of how lucky you are [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[Luv2DriveTT]

[ QUOTE ]
In live play, I try to appear like a robot, win or lose. In online play, I am much closer to my "normal" self (i.e., borderline jerk, I guess).

[/ QUOTE ]

NOT a jerk at all... you are without a doubt anally retentive, but hardly a jerk. But its interesting about your robot comment, I have noticed that as well. You can be the most lifeless persona t a table, and thats not good for your game either. Loosen up, relax, smile, crack some jokes... make your opponents feel at ease. When your opponents know you are working hard to beat them, they start playing better. Don't help them.. hurt them. Over time this becomes very natural, and its a winning strategy.

I'll never forget the day I met Ed Miller. I have never seen a more natural player in my life. He was talking with everyone at the table, yet knew precisely what he was going to do two steps ahead. His movements were so fluid, it was impossible to get a read on him.

I aspire to be more like Ed in many ways... do you see why?

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[bkholdem]

You have awareness of the issue, this is the first step to changing it. Get past 'why' you do it or 'why' others do it ASAP and get to how to stop it. For real.

It's not important understanding why our teeth rot (let dentists study up on that), what is important is taking preventative steps to avoid it from happening. The former is theoretical, the latter is practical. Moving to the practical ASAP is +EV.

[reddred]

one of the books I've got in my library is Killer Poker Online (John Voorhaus). A mostly forgettable book, but I do like his writing style. He talks about one of the pitfalls of online play is that u can just sit down at any time and play, even for 5 min. while you wait for your wife to get ready. When going to a B&M room, you have the drive to the location, and mentally your getty ready to play. The vast majority of online players don't take the time to prepare themselves before play. Maybe this is an area you can put more attention into before playing online.
As for tilt, everyone who is , or has played alot, knows the experience. I've found that the amount that a bad beat hurts is directly proportional to what my bankroll limits, or my single day loss threshold is. The more "over" bankrolled I am for a certain limit, the less the beats hurt, b/c it's such a small amount compared to my bankroll. At least thats a way I've learned to deal with it, or nip it in the bud before it hits....

[Dov]

There was a thread on here some time ago, may have been quite a while now, about how you dress when you play online.

I have noticed for myself, that when I get dressed decently well, I play better, even online. A big one for me is shoes. I tend to play much better if I leave my shoes on.

I also play better if I first get dressed, go outside for about 15 minutes, and start when I get back inside.

I don't know why, but I take things more seriously as they seem to have more meaning and association with reality for me this way. Otherwise, it's just like a video game for me.

[TStoneMBD]

punching holes in the wall is -ev