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  #1  
Old 11-17-2005, 08:57 PM
DavidC DavidC is offline
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Default Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there?

I'm at a greasy spoon, and I see a poster about a local girl with leukemia who's on chemo and she's upset because her parents work instead of spending time with her at the hospital. The poster asks for donations so that her parents can stay at the hospital with her.

I can understand the girl being upset that her parents work.

One of the pictures shows her holding a balloon or something like that. In the background is the tail of a minivan. She's 4.

But here's what bothers me about the poster:

I see her in front of a minivan that doesn't look totally run down (at least, the tail end of it), and I ask myself...

"Have her parents sold the car?"

"Have they sold the house?"

"Have they quit one of their jobs, to work a night job, so that they can take shifts with her?"

etc.

I mean, if someone wrote a poster and it said, "Hi. I have a sick kid, and I'd love to spend time in the hospital with her, but I don't want to sell my house." Would you help out?

I mean, if they said, "If I were to sell my car and buy a cheaper car, I'd lose like $3000 on the deal." I'd ask them what was more important, the money or the girl...

I would help them if they were a friend, but if they're a stranger, it kinda feels like you're being a sucker by helping them.

Obviously, I don't know the whole story, but these are my initial impressions.

Anyone have any comments?
--Dave.
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  #2  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:04 PM
lastchance lastchance is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

The treatment for childhood Leukemia is probably not very cheap, and it is kind of depressing to be around a kid that you know will die sooner than you will.
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  #3  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:07 PM
gorie gorie is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

true. they should sell the car, house, and quit their full time jobs.
then when the daughter gets better, she can make a sign that says "my parents sold their car, house, and quit their jobs to spend time with me when i was on chemo in the hospital. donations for a new house and car would be cool. they also need jobs, and are available for interview."
you don't even want to know what the sign reads if she dies.
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  #4  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:11 PM
DavidC DavidC is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

[ QUOTE ]
The treatment for childhood Leukemia is probably not very cheap,

[/ QUOTE ]

I was thinking about this.

[ QUOTE ]
and it is kind of depressing to be around a kid that you know will die sooner than you will.

[/ QUOTE ]

The parents want to be there.
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  #5  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:13 PM
DavidC DavidC is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

[ QUOTE ]
true. they should sell the car, house, and quit their full time jobs.
then when the daughter gets better, she can make a sign that says "my parents sold their car, house, and quit their jobs to spend time with me when i was on chemo in the hospital. donations for a new house and car would be cool. they also need jobs, and are available for interview."
you don't even want to know what the sign reads if she dies.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm of the opinion that three people living in an apartment with a crappy car isn't some definition of hell or anything.

Neither is two people living in an apartment.

Keep in mind that the poster is asking for cash in order to get hours off work: so they're not losing their jobs over this (unless they quit one for the shift thing, like I suggested would be a possibility).

Edit: What I mean to say here is that while it sucks to lose a daughter, it doesn't really matter if you lose a house, a car, or whatever in the same stroke. It's just a house.
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  #6  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:20 PM
PoBoy321 PoBoy321 is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

Suppose that the only way that they can afford to pay for their kid's treatement is with the insurance that they get from their job, so they have to work, otherwise they can't afford the treatment. Perhaps the jobs they have are such that they need to car, or that the house they live in is already the only affordable housing near their work.

Also, my understanding is that childhood cancer treatment is so incredibly expensive that even if they were to sell their home and car, it wouldn't make much of a dent as far as the total cost of care would eventually be.

Now granted, I don't know the full story either, and I'm saying that this is only a small possible set of circumstances that could prevent them from spending more time at the hospital, but I'm not the one who's making assumptions to make a couple of parents whose daughter is dying of cancer out to be deadbeat scam artists.
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  #7  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:22 PM
Godfather80 Godfather80 is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

[ QUOTE ]
Suppose that the only way that they can afford to pay for their kid's treatement is with the insurance that they get from their job, so they have to work, otherwise they can't afford the treatment. Perhaps the jobs they have are such that they need to car, or that the house they live in is already the only affordable housing near their work.

Also, my understanding is that childhood cancer treatment is so incredibly expensive that even if they were to sell their home and car, it wouldn't make much of a dent as far as the total cost of care would eventually be.

Now granted, I don't know the full story either, and I'm saying that this is only a small possible set of circumstances that could prevent them from spending more time at the hospital, but I'm not the one who's making assumptions to make a couple of parents whose daughter is dying of cancer out to be deadbeat scam artists.

[/ QUOTE ]

That sounds like a bingo.
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  #8  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:31 PM
DavidC DavidC is offline
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

[ QUOTE ]
Suppose that the only way that they can afford to pay for their kid's treatement is with the insurance that they get from their job, so they have to work, otherwise they can't afford the treatment.

[/ QUOTE ]

Firstly, this is smart. Thanks. (Keep in mind that I did say that I didn't know the whole story.)

But for some reason you guys are missing the idea that they're looking for cash so that they can afford to take time off work...

... so they're not losing their jobs, and they don't need to work if they have cash.

[ QUOTE ]

Also, my understanding is that childhood cancer treatment is so incredibly expensive that even if they were to sell their home and car, it wouldn't make much of a dent as far as the total cost of care would eventually be.


[/ QUOTE ]

This is really really possible. I'm Canadian, so it's probably not as bad as if this were in the states, but I have no idea to be honest.

[ QUOTE ]

Now granted, I don't know the full story either, and I'm saying that this is only a small possible set of circumstances that could prevent them from spending more time at the hospital, but I'm not the one who's making assumptions to make a couple of parents whose daughter is dying of cancer out to be deadbeat scam artists.

[/ QUOTE ]

Um... No. I said that I'd "feel" like a sucker (not be one). I said that I don't know the whole story. Maybe the parameters that you're throwing out here have been met. Maybe it's really expensive. I don't know and I'm really glad I've never had to experience anything like this. I really really hate the idea of this girl being sick, too. That part really sucks.

I understand that this is a hard thing to go through. But, I'm curious about what is really being done through donating to them. On one side, there's the aspect of showing compassion. It doesn't really matter if you are helping too much or not. It's just nice to know that people care. In a sense, it's a good thing to donate even if it doesn't make a dent, because it makes them feel better.

... But here's the thing that's nagging at me, basically the only thing: If they have a positive net worth after coming out of this, then what's being done as a result of donation is essentially helping them buy whatever is included in their net worth at the end of the ordeal, right?

I mean, if you gave them 10 grand, and at the end, they had spent time with their daughter, but owned a car worth 10 grand, wouldn't you have just bought them a car, rather than their time at the hospital? And keep in mind I'm not just talking about a car, which could be seen as something helpful to them working. What about their house? What about their RRSPs (retirement savings plan) if they have any of that left, etc. Basically, I'm not 100% sure that they actually need help, even though I know they're going through hard times.

(fwiw I'm pretty sure apartments have a lower monthly expense than a house, pretty much no matter where you go, but I could be wrong about that... some possibility exists, though, that they need to keep ownership of the house in order to leverage its equity to pay for medical bills.)
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  #9  
Old 11-17-2005, 09:45 PM
jesusarenque jesusarenque is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 470
Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there

[ QUOTE ]
I'm at a greasy spoon, and I see a poster about a local girl with leukemia who's on chemo and she's upset because her parents work instead of spending time with her at the hospital. The poster asks for donations so that her parents can stay at the hospital with her.

I can understand the girl being upset that her parents work.

One of the pictures shows her holding a balloon or something like that. In the background is the tail of a minivan. She's 4.

But here's what bothers me about the poster:

I see her in front of a minivan that doesn't look totally run down (at least, the tail end of it), and I ask myself...

"Have her parents sold the car?"

"Have they sold the house?"

"Have they quit one of their jobs, to work a night job, so that they can take shifts with her?"

etc.

I mean, if someone wrote a poster and it said, "Hi. I have a sick kid, and I'd love to spend time in the hospital with her, but I don't want to sell my house." Would you help out?

I mean, if they said, "If I were to sell my car and buy a cheaper car, I'd lose like $3000 on the deal." I'd ask them what was more important, the money or the girl...

I would help them if they were a friend, but if they're a stranger, it kinda feels like you're being a sucker by helping them.

Obviously, I don't know the whole story, but these are my initial impressions.

Anyone have any comments?
--Dave.

[/ QUOTE ]

I haven't read the other comments, but her parents could probably sell everything they own and not even put a dent in the medical bills.
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  #10  
Old 11-17-2005, 11:34 PM
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Default Re: Sick girl wants her parents at the hospital, why aren\'t they there?

So they sell everything and then there homeless. Would that the motivation for you to give?
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