THIS is how you parent.

[WDC]

I am not saying it is wrong but maybe a couple of months in a soup kitchen gets the same message across, does some good for the homeless and does not subject the girl to humiliation.

[ripdog]

[ QUOTE ]
You will, in the future, be amazed at how personality-driven kids are, and how different they come.

[/ QUOTE ]

As a former kid and now reasonable adult, I think "amazed" is a stretch. Any behavioral problems that I have with my kid can and will be traced back to the source--ME!

These particular parents let things slip away from them and are resorting to a stupid stunt to try to humiliate their kid into bahaving. I've got some bad news for them--it ain't gonna work. You don't fix a problem that is 14 years in the making by hanging a demeaning sign aroung the kid's neck and making them stand on a street corner. It's time for this/these parent(s) to put their foot/feet down and stop accepting the offending behavior. It's going to be a bitch, but that's what they get for not dealing with it early. You think this kid turned into a brat overnight? No, the parents failed and have reaped what was sewn.

[Lottery Larry]

"The parents of that girl need more education than she does if they can't see that the worst scenario in this case is to kill their daughter psychologically," "


Well, if the kid is that damage mentally, there are bigger problems than this going on.

I thought it was clever, though the last pyschologist might have been correct about catching her being good rather than bad.

[Jack of Arcades]

This sort of public humiliation usually ends up with the child trying to save face and worsens the behavior.

[astroglide]

there's no cookbook solution for dealing with people, and parenting is no exception. some people will respond in a positive manner to drill sergeants, and others will cry and kill themselves. some people will excel with modest reinforcement, and others will disrespect and walk all over the person doing it. it totally depends on the parent and the kid. since i don't know them, i don't feel qualified to respond.

this obviously implies that i don't find the situation described here so innately cruel and unusual that it warrants concern or outrage by default.

[roxtar]

As a former H.S. screw - up, I now wish to God that my parents would've given as much of a damn about me as this kid's mother does about her. In 10 years when she's graduating college she'll be thanking her. She's doing the kid a favor.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
there's no cookbook solution for dealing with people, and parenting is no exception. some people will respond in a positive manner to drill sergeants, and others will cry and kill themselves. some people will excel with modest reinforcement, and others will disrespect and walk all over the person doing it. it totally depends on the parent and the kid. since i don't know them, i don't feel qualified to respond.

this obviously implies that i don't find the situation described here so innately cruel and unusual that it warrants concern or outrage by default.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is all good stuff that I'm surprised has been un-addressed up to this point. Why, yes, I suppose our mileage WILL vary. I can imagine the sort of child that this would be helpful for, but I can't imagine that child being any child of mine.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
there's no cookbook solution for dealing with people, and parenting is no exception. some people will respond in a positive manner to drill sergeants, and others will cry and kill themselves. some people will excel with modest reinforcement, and others will disrespect and walk all over the person doing it. it totally depends on the parent and the kid. since i don't know them, i don't feel qualified to respond.


[/ QUOTE ]

I agree to some degree, and I assume you're talking about older children, but frankly you do a reasonable job young and the older stuff is about their personality, not about the nauseating, antisocial and stupid behaviours they've been allowed to get away with...

And there are pretty easy guidelines to follow to make yourself a good parent. These include:

Set a good example (eg eat properly so your children eat proper food not junk), set a clear routine (eg meals at the table enforce good eating habits; specific bedtime and bedtime rituals help the kids to sleep well), setting clear boundaries to what is acceptable or not, and clearly linking punishment/reward to those boundaries etc etc. Oh and help them with their homework and schoolwork, and make them feel really good about themselves when they work hard.

And this sounds trivial, but read to them every night. Learning and love of words and stories is a wonderful thing to instill in a small child.



These aren't difficult other than you need to really keep to them.

And as your children grow and develop, anyone with a decent brain will be able to realise the nature of their own children and adapt how to help them grow accordingly.

But, let's face it, fk-ups and tards just produce fk-ups and tards.

[Jack of Arcades]

Obviously there's no set algorithm with anything dealing with people but that doesn't mean there are no guidelines. In general, public humilation just isn't a great solution to behavioral problems. It'll result in usually one of two things.

1) Rebellion to save face
2) Punishment-Avoidance behavior.

Now the kid's learning "don't talk back to the teachers or you'll get humiliated" instead of "respect your teachers because it's the polite thing to do, and you should treat others the way you wish to be treated."

[Cosimo]

[ QUOTE ]
A lot of people say this is a form of mental abuse. Personally, I applaud this kind of parenting. What do you all think?

link

[/ QUOTE ]

Positive reinforcement is a farce. Get your kids emotionally involved in their own life and making a change is 10x easier. Yay for this mom.