What do you want for Christmas?

[swede123]

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Of the responses so far this one intrigues me the most. Do you want a subscription to Newsweek or Time Magazine? Do you want popsicles? Do you want an asian/samoan/whatever chick to spread her legs for you? I'm quite curious.

Swede

[craig r]

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dude, I dont wanna spoil it for you, but he dies at the end.

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well, then I might as well skip the rest and just read the last chapter. I belive it is called "revelations". This book is way to popular for it to end bad.

craig

p.s. I just read further, you were wrong. The writer wanted us to think he died, but he came back 3 days later. I usually don't like suspense novels, but this one is good.

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Well it seems that it is going to end bad. Well, especially for me if I don't stop my chosen people ways. I just have to hope that maybe some of my buddies in the Zionist Organized Government will help me out and can talk to God for me. That is if they will still talk to me, since I haven't been to a meeting since we decided we had enough of Spielberg and Seinfeld.

Anyways, I guess I need to make a decision fairly soon, before it is too late. I have gotten 26 days until Christmas and I should make a decision by then. If not it is Hanukkah again for me.

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After much thought I have decided I need to let as many people as possible know about the end of the world. I am thinking I could go door to door or maybe just stop people on the streets and talk to them. I will need to have one of those shirts that say, "Where will you be for eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking" or "Born Again Christians Do It Better". I still haven't decided how confrontational I want to be. But, whatever it takes I guess, I have to save the world from its sins. So, my official answer for what I want for christmas is: A Christian T-Shirt. Maybe even one that says: "Jewboys For Christ" or "I still like my Matzoh, but I love my Savior", or "I may be Jewish, but I am not going to burn in hell with all of you other Jews who don't know that Jesus is our lord, Sucker!".

craig

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absolutely just threw yourself into top 5 favorite posters with this one.

maybe you could get a bumper sticker showing the "Truth fish" devouring a dreidel... or matzoh ball... hmm, how bout a rabbi?

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I like the bumper sticker idea. I would take it further and have one of those metal plates though. But, mine will be huge. It will be like the "22s" of bumper plates. Maybe a truth fish, swallowing a gefilte fish. But, I don't want it to be seen as anti-semitic. I just want to let all the jews know that they are going to go to hell and are horrible people, but it doesn't have to stay that way. They can join my group as well (but only I get the "truth" bling on my car).

It is amazing the range of emotions I have went through the last day. I went from being happy I am jewish, to not so sure about christ, to born again jewboy christian, and, finally, to realizing that the skinheads that beat me up in Houston were right about me all along.

craig

p.s. I need to get somebody who can sing in Yiddish to sing some of the songs like, "Our God is an Awesome God". I don't want to listen to anything secular.

p.p.s. Can I get reverse bar mitzvahed? If so, do i have to give the money back? Because I already spent it on a shewitzball (this is when you mix cocaine with Manischewitz and inject it).

[siccjay]

I want 2 chicks at the same time.

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p.p.s. Can I get reverse bar mitzvahed? If so, do i have to give the money back? Because I already spent it on a shewitzball (this is when you mix cocaine with Manischewitz and inject it).

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Women that get divorced get to keep their engagement rings on the basis that it's a gift, so I'm pretty sure you're good on the bar mitzvah cash. But you may want to get un-mitzvahed (dis-barred?) anyways, so St.Peter doesn't get confused and send you to hell with the rest of the heathen pigs.

[Peca277]

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p.p.s. Can I get reverse bar mitzvahed? If so, do i have to give the money back? Because I already spent it on a shewitzball (this is when you mix cocaine with Manischewitz and inject it).

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Women that get divorced get to keep their engagement rings on the basis that it's a gift, so I'm pretty sure you're good on the bar mitzvah cash. But you may want to get un-mitzvahed (dis-barred?) anyways, so St.Peter doesn't get confused and send you to hell with the rest of the heathen pigs .

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If it was unintentional it's funny... if it was intentional it was clever and funny! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[WackityWhiz]

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Of the responses so far this one intrigues me the most. Do you want a subscription to Newsweek or Time Magazine? Do you want popsicles? Do you want an asian/samoan/whatever chick to spread her legs for you? I'm quite curious.

Swede

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I haven't been sleeping well lately and those pillows look mighty comfortable. I guess I should have been more specific.

[craig r]

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p.p.s. Can I get reverse bar mitzvahed? If so, do i have to give the money back? Because I already spent it on a shewitzball (this is when you mix cocaine with Manischewitz and inject it).

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Women that get divorced get to keep their engagement rings on the basis that it's a gift, so I'm pretty sure you're good on the bar mitzvah cash. But you may want to get un-mitzvahed (dis-barred?) anyways, so St.Peter doesn't get confused and send you to hell with the rest of the heathen pigs.

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Well, that is my concern. I am doing this christ thing so I don't go to hell. I want to save the world (okay..well at least americans...). I think our lord and savior said something about "love thy neighbor", but it was in the back somewhere. It probably isn't very important.

craig

[pokerdirty]

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dude, I dont wanna spoil it for you, but he dies at the end.

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[craig r]

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dude, I dont wanna spoil it for you, but he dies at the end.

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I don't know where you got that, but I need that shirt. My jewish christian group is not going to the a bunch of wimps. We are going to be very militant. Now, I don't mean like we are going to stand outsite of abortion clinics and shoot doctors or vote for Bush; nothing like that. I just want people to see us coming and know who we are. That would be great for a shirt. That shirt lets the people know "we aren't fcking around."

But, I found one that is even better:

(BTW, you really should go to www.christianshirts.net one would think it was the Onion).

So, the leaders of my group will wear the shirt P.Dirty posted and the street soldiers will wear the one I posted.

[GoCubsGo]

You weren't kidding. Look what I found.