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#1
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Fix this sentence
I'm helping a friend write a cover letter for a marketing job in the golf industry. It's pretty much all done, but one of her sentences is bad, but I don't know why.
[ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe it to have a great deal of promise for becoming one of the state's premier courses. [/ QUOTE ] Oh and thanks: edit- my friend is not one of these girls. edit- rehosted |
#2
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Re: Fix this sentence
is she applying for a nekkid cart girl position?
you really don't want me correcting grammer. things will get ugly. |
#3
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Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
is she applying for a nekkid cart girl position? [/ QUOTE ] I wish they had those. That would rock. I just figured that I would make this thread a bit less useless to the general oot population. |
#4
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Re: Fix this sentence
The recent opening of xxx is very exciting in that it shows a great deal of promise in becoming one of the state's premier golf courses.
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#5
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Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe it will become one of the state's premier courses. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe this course has the potential to be a premier golf destination. [/ QUOTE ] |
#6
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Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe this course has the potential to be a premier golf destination. [/ QUOTE ] |
#7
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Re: Fix this sentence
btw, is xxx the place to which this friend is applying? If so, I wouldn't recommmend telling them how great their course is. They already know....
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#8
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Re: Fix this sentence
I little cheerleading for the company is OK in a cover letter as long as it is back up with something that say "why I can help XXX acheive that goal"
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#9
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Re: Fix this sentence
are people so lazy that they can't take 10 seconds to rehost the image?
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#10
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Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
are people so lazy that they can't take 10 seconds to rehost the image? [/ QUOTE ] yes |
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