Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[Riverman]

Inspired by the sad news at the borgata thread...

Junior year of college there was this kid that always wanted to go to AC with us, so one time we brought him. Total alcoholic and one of the worst card players ever. He starts out playing 3/6 but after about 10 makers marks he decided he needs to play 20/40 instead. He empties his ATM and sure enough goes on the rush of his life. But what was great was that every time he was on a draw he would announce his cards and inform the dealer that if his draw came he would tip half the pot. Each time he would stand up and yell "SPADE! COME ON DEALER! PUT A F*CKING SPADE UP THERE!" for example. Low and behold he hits a handfull of straights/flushes, keeping his word and tipping half the pot each time.

On one occasion, however, while trying to give $100 stacks of red to the dealer as a tip, he knocks over the chips and they spill in the rack and get mixed in with the fill. This is bad news and the game is delayed almost 30 minutes. During this time he goes to play craps (he has no idea what the rules are) Wins 2000 by hitting bulshit like hard 12, snake eyes, and other longshots, and promptly tips 1000 (half) upon leaving the table.

Kind of sad and amazing at the same time- and yes he did manage to lose every penny before we went home.

I know you guys have some good ones, post them here please.

[Howard Burroughs]

Well not "Best" but recent.....


Me and some buddies are out all night drinking shots, beer, bourbon, mudslides etc.

I'm falling down drunk. I decide to go play no-limit hold'em. I tell my buddies to come along and sweat me and get unlimited free drinks.


I buy-in for $200. A small raise to me on my first hand. I look down to find 66. I'm too drunk for any post-flop thinking, I push.


Folded to pre-flop raiser. He does the TV pre-flop chip dance, the WPT stare-down and the "I know I have you beat" speech.

I look at him and say, "If you have me beat b!tch, put your money in the pot".

He calls.


99, Oh well, I'm drunk & Stupid.


I just hang my head in drunken shame as the flop, turn & river are being delivered to their proper destination. Never looking up

I bring my head up from shame and look over to Mr 99 to see if he rightfully lets me have it for my friendly trash talking.

He's not there. I just see his back as he's walking to the rail. I look down at the board cards. A beautiful sexy six. And my hand is good. YMMV.


Howard

[sciencebeagle]

After I turned 21 my mom wanted to go to Vegas. She was very lonely and sad after a divorce with my dad and worked constantly so I thought I would go with her to give her some company. At Bally's the bar is right next to the poker section and they keep brining you drink after drink after dirnk..... You get the point. I got like four vodka Red Bulls in the time it took to go one orbit around the table. Anyways I was playing 3/6 and was SUPER hammered after about two hours. I was raising and capping every street with anything. By the end of the night I was stuck about $600 for being so hammered and just [censored] totally around. The next day when we were going to the airport my mom tells me she won about $700 on a lucky slot pull. I told her about my poker losses and she said "I had so much fun, heres the money you lost! I know going to Vegas with your mom is kind of lame so this is to show how much it meant to me!" Woohoo!

[ QUOTE ]
After I turned 21 my mom wanted to go to Vegas. She was very lonely and sad after a divorce with my dad and worked constantly so I thought I would go with her to give her some company. At Bally's the bar is right next to the poker section and they keep brining you drink after drink after dirnk..... You get the point. I got like four vodka Red Bulls in the time it took to go one orbit around the table. Anyways I was playing 3/6 and was SUPER hammered after about two hours. I was raising and capping every street with anything. By the end of the night I was stuck about $600 for being so hammered and just [censored] totally around. The next day when we were going to the airport my mom tells me she won about $700 on a lucky slot pull. I told her about my poker losses and she said "I had so much fun, heres the money you lost! I know going to Vegas with your mom is kind of lame so this is to show how much it meant to me!" Woohoo!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think I played with you. Remember that hand where you folded AK on the river all pissed off? I had AJ.

[MrBrightside]

ok, my drunken vegas story. This was just last month when my wife surprised me with a trip for my birthday. Now, I played a little poker (got 2nd in a $100 plaza midnight tourney), but this was mainly time with the wife, and we play cheap blackjack and get ripped.

We had a hard time finding $3 blackjack, even downtown, but finally found a new dive: The Golden Gate. Hung out there every nite.

One dude was Ray, from San Diego. Great guy (we get to know everybody). Best dealer was deaf jeff. He rocked. Anyway, we did horrible at blackjack, but Ray was a star. He won every nite, the pit loved him (they liked us to). Anway, this guy only drank catpain morgan and coke. The last nite, frustrated at losing again (i don't mind losing, but give me ONE winning session on a trip, that's all I ask), with Ray winning again, and I'm already hammered. I have like $50 gambling money left for the day, and I said "screw it, bring me a captain and coke. Ray, I am merely a sprout in the shadow of your greatness" or some such crap.

I proceed to have about 11 captain and cokes and win $350. Also, I decided on this instance, that I would NEVER hit a 16 again. It was just pissing me off to bust and the % edge you gain is tiny, so I just stopped doing it. Every time I would win and hand and my wife (who was still losing) would glare at me, I would click my glass with Ray and loudly declare "it's all about the captain". Plus, they were damn tasty.

To top it all off, I had the hangover to end all hangover's the next day and we get up early to get to McCarran only to find our flight has been delayed SIX HOURS. Forgetting to call and check was my bad beat for the trip....

[idrinkcoors]

I can't top any of these stories. I've never woke up with 3k in my pocket....more like I woke up with 20 atm receipts in my pocket, and one "TRANSACTION DECLINED" recipt.

Anyway, I drink lots, but my buddy makes me look like a Mormom bishop. On one trip to Blackhawk, CO. we are drinking like fish and playing high limit BJ. ($5.00) In this game though, if you get dealt three cards in a row of the same denomination (three sevens, or three queens for example), the dealer turns over this hourglass, and the table has 5 minutes where every dealer card is exposed up front. So the dealer shows her 19 and my drunken buddy stands on his 18.

Another time in Mesquite, he is splashing chips all over the craps table, and throws 2 green chips on the felt and says, "Two way hard five." Of course from now on his name isn't Mark. It's "Hard Five."

[MCS]

[ QUOTE ]
In this game though, if you get dealt three cards in a row of the same denomination (three sevens, or three queens for example), the dealer turns over this hourglass, and the table has 5 minutes where every dealer card is exposed up front.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. I got all excited about exploiting this and making tons of cash, and then I realized they can just ban you if they want. Or at the very least limit your bet.

[Al_Capone_Junior]

I guess my favorite of all times is still the guy in AC who bought into 2-4 with only eight chips... two $1000 chips and six $100 chips, $2600 total. He had a thick Russian accent, and didn't know diddly about how to play hold'em. But he knew how to say, and I quote...

"how do you say? Rrrrrrraise! (don't forget to roll your R's now). Drove all the dealers, and most of the players, absolutely crazy.

So he said it, and did in fact raise every single hand, for about eight straight hours.

He didn't really care what he had, hell, half the time he didn't even bother looking. But he continued raising. And he'd raise to the end, no matter what, no matter what he had, whether he'd looked or not, whatever.

He totally hammered me on one hand. He didn't look, So when I flopped top pair, Queen kicker, I figured I'd be good. So I capped it with him to the river. But on the river he had QUAD FIVES. Tho my ASS was kinda SORE, I couldn't help but laugh.

One of the best times I've ever had playing poker. I won about $580 (most big bets I have ever won to this day playing limit), my buddy won about $400 something, and everyone else at the table did pretty darn goot as well. Funny as chit.

[edited several times because I was drinking like my seventh beer while writing it]

al

[beavens]

not much of a story, but i was playing 1/2 NL at the mirage for about 14 hours straight drinking the entire time. ended up down about 150 for the session but i had a great time doing it - the table was very fun.

well when i finally got up from the table at 11am or so i was pretty hammered. this being only my 3rd time in a casino, i had no f'ing clue where i was going. i stumbled around trying to find the exit, and i finally found one. no clue where it put me out, but i was walking around outside, midmorning, quite drunk and i ended up at the casino employee entrance. i surveyed the area and throught this couldn't be right. so i went back to another door and entered. it was treasure island's hotel, apparently, so i walk down to the casino floor and plop into a Gameking machine. play some video blackjack and i think i make $10 or so. somehow i managed to find my way out of TI, and walked allllll the way back to the hotel at the Riviera.

friends were sleeping as i busted into the room making a shitload of noise when the door hit the wall - they shot up like someone fired a gun in the room. i go on for 10 minutes straight about my night/morning and they said i passed out on the floor midsentence.

ahhhhhh vegas =)

[Al_Capone_Junior]

Vegas rocks, my friend. You don't have to remember it all to figure that out. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

al