Another Drunken Bar Trip Report

[jakethebake]

Drunken bar trip report.

Go ahead and ask, “So how are you tonight, Jake?” DRUUUNNNKKKK!

I have received several requests for bar trip reports but haven’t had anything worth reporting. I still haven’t but am drunk enough to write one anyway.

I went to the bar tonight. The bar has not changed much. I’ve been cutting back on my bar time. I was going there regularly for awhile mostly because I was waiting for phone calls that time of the evening anyway. Lately when I have been going, I’ve mostly not been drinking much.

They turned on some crappy p*ker invitational thing on one of the obscure channels like they always do when they see me come in, and I ordered a Warsteiner draft. They have new talent. She’s German and barely speaks a lick of English. She’s a serious butterface, plus she has “German calves” if you know what those are, but one hell of a nice ass. The owner is a German guy and keeps finding reasonably hot German girls to hire, which makes me wonder if he’s not kidnapping them from some local hostel or has some kind of contact with a German girl smuggling ring or something. You wouldn’t think there were that many German girls in Miami.

Also, I found out the booya/boma waitress is 19. She has very nice boobies, which are quite a bit larger than I had before realized as I really didn’t make a point of looking before, but did this time and they again felt very nice on my arm.

There was one guy at a table behind me complaining to his boyfriend that his mother is Chinese and his father is Canadian and he “just looks Mexican!” H seemed very upset and to my distaste, his boyfriend seemed insistent on physically comforting him over this tragedy. I’m glad they were behind me.

Aslo, one guy sitting at the bar got halfway to the bathroom and threw up. The food is usually very good there, but I was glad not to be eating. When he was in the restroom, the bartenders were trying to guess what he’d had for lunch. Consensus was “something with tomato sauce unless that was blood.”

One of the bartenders served me a free cherry schnapps. I had never had a cherry schnapps before and it was pretty hideous. I’ve had a lot of schnapps, but never cherry. FWIW I suggest sticking with almost anything else.

As an aside, thanks to my daughter’s recent ear infection, I’m currently sampling “lean” per THIS THREAD. and will let you know how it turns out. I made it with:

1 shot “lean” aka codeine syrup
1 shot sour apple rum
Coke
ice

Mods, please do not hold me accountable for any later behavior as I’m only doing this for 00T’s entertainment. Also, anyone that receives insane AIM ramblings tonight, I apologize in advance.

[jakethebake]

update: completely numb. i just rolledon myside and y tongue lolled out the side of my mouth.

[jaydub]

jake,

You live a fascinating life, such a wild and crazy guy.

Sincerely

J

[imported_anacardo]

That avatar is among the greatest sights these eyes have ever beheld. Stuey, you are a prince among men.

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update: completely numb. i just rolledon myside and y tongue lolled out the side of my mouth.

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You're gay.

[RunDownHouse]

First, big props on the avatar. Second, I feel that you've overcompensated somewhat in adjusting in your posting frequency.

[malokoman]

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There was one guy at a table behind me complaining to his boyfriend

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his boyfriend seemed insistent on physically comforting him

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I’m glad they were behind me.

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[2+2 wannabe]

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You're gay

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H seemed very upset and to my distaste, his boyfriend seemed insistent on physically comforting him over this tragedy. I’m glad they were behind me.

[/ QUOTE ]

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[ QUOTE ]
You're gay

[/ QUOTE ]

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H seemed very upset and to my distaste, his boyfriend seemed insistent on physically comforting him over this tragedy. I’m glad they were behind me.

[/ QUOTE ]

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*Deleted because I am drunk and do not want to get banned again while under the influence.

[man]

I'm not sure why, but I think this post ruled.

I went to a bar tonight, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, it sucked and I had a terrible time. maybe there weren't enough gay dudes hooking up on/near my body.