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  #1  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:28 PM
gorie gorie is offline
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Location: it\'s like a puzzle with pans. if you think about it.
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Default jobs are important ?

i know it sounds like a stupid question, but how do you convince someone that having a job is important ?

this person is 28 years old, in debt 25,000 does not have a college degree (some school but never finished, which is where a lot of the debt came from) and is stuck on the reasoning that having a job and money does not equal happiness and how it's pointless to get a crappy job working for $7 doing something they hate because they'll never get out of debt anyway. ? they think they've ruined the rest of their life because they'll never be able to have the things they wanted in life like a house etc so why bother ?

right now they live with someone that supports them but the person supporting them doesn't like this, and doesn't treat them very well because of it.

i should also mention they have been really unlucky with jobs in the past. and have done the whole temp agency thing and usually get let go too soon when they do find something they can do, or quit because they can't stand the job. so their job history does not look too good. they get turned down a lot for jobs when they do send resumes and i think they've given up.

don't post if you're just going to say mean stuff. i would like some advice on how you'd handle this if it was someone you cared about ?
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  #2  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:33 PM
Jimbo Jimbo is offline
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Location: Planet Earth but relocating
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

[ QUOTE ]
know it sounds like a stupid question, but how do you convince someone that having a job is important ?


[/ QUOTE ]

You are asking this question on a forum where 25% of the people are currently unemployed and the other 75% wish they were?

You gotta be kidding!!
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  #3  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:33 PM
kerssens kerssens is offline
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

Does this person rely on the person they live with for everything? I think it feels good to be able to provide things for oneself. I don't like my job but it gives me somewhere to go during the day, I'd get really bored. I get bored if I stay home for more than one day in a row.
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  #4  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:36 PM
gorie gorie is offline
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Location: it\'s like a puzzle with pans. if you think about it.
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
know it sounds like a stupid question, but how do you convince someone that having a job is important ?


[/ QUOTE ]

You are asking this question on a forum where 25% of the people are currently unemployed and the other 75% wish they were?

You gotta be kidding!!

[/ QUOTE ]

but they still all want to be making money... that's different.

why did you bother to respond just to say that ?
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  #5  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:37 PM
jokerthief jokerthief is offline
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

<font color="blue"> I think the easiest aproach would be to convince this person to go back to school to learn a skill. Talk to them about getting a degree in a one or two year program. In this day and age education is really a necessity for any sort of good job. If this person thought they could get a decent job, then maybe they will find some motivation.</font>
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  #6  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:38 PM
SammyKid11 SammyKid11 is offline
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

Tell him to leave his girlfriend so you can have him all to yourself.....

Okay, maybe that was mean. Actually, tell him that everyone's gotta start somewhere, that if he has any respect for himself whatsoever that he'll get off his ass and try SOMETHING in life. Even working low-wage jobs, work a couple of them and save up money to go back to school. He needs a five-year plan before he can have a 5-month plan. Sounds like he's pretty hopeless at the moment, so developing a long-term goal that shows him he wouldn't be working in vain might be just the thing to get him motivated to give something a try.

Sorry about the blanket assumption...it just really sounded like you were talking about a guy living off his GF. Anyway, that's my best idea. Typically, people that don't want to work don't. Maybe that'll help.
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  #7  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:38 PM
RacersEdge RacersEdge is offline
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

For one thing tell them 25K in debt is nothing.
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  #8  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:38 PM
kerssens kerssens is offline
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Location: Bellevue, WA
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Default Re: jobs are important ?

[ QUOTE ]
<font color="blue"> I think the easiest aproach would be to convince this person to go back to school to learn a skill. Talk to them about getting a degree in a one or two year program. In this day and age education is really a necessity for any sort of good job. If this person thought they could get a decent job, then maybe they will find some motivation.</font>

[/ QUOTE ]

Along these lines, schools are good hookups for jobs/internships
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  #9  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:39 PM
Jimbo Jimbo is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2002
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Posts: 2,193
Default Re: jobs are important ?

[ QUOTE ]
why did you bother to respond just to say that ?

[/ QUOTE ]

Because you asked for no mean responses and my only other reasonable choice was to suggest you mind you own business and allow her to live her life the way she chooses.
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  #10  
Old 09-07-2005, 11:40 PM
disjunction disjunction is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 79
Default Re: jobs are important ?

This depends a large part on your table image. Let's assume the villain respects you. My initial reactions are:

(1) Mostly, there is nothing you can do. Your words alone can not make this person wake up motivated and persistent.

(2) There is a large chance this "What's the point", giving up whining is a ploy to elicit sympathy from you. And that's what you should be, sympathetic most of the time. Mixed in with 10% kick-in-the-butt "why haven't you done anything yet soldier"? talk. But save that for the appropriate times.

(3) Mostly, you should be a one-note instrument. "So, did you look for a job today?". "How was your day, did you get a job?". "Find any jobs today?". Yeah, be annoying.

(4) It sounds like this person has general psychological issues that may have to be dealt with first. Get them to the gym, motivate them with baby achievable steps, etc. This is situation dependent.
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