What is people skills?

[Bodhi]

A better name might be "How to manipulate people and get them to like you for it." I'm not saying that this hasn't been necessary for great leaders throughout history, but the truth is the truth.

[Demana]

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Anyone can have good people skills provided they are willing to listen, clarify, and understand.

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I disagree... there are plenty of people who are very kind and considerate but who don't have good people skills. people skills require an affability, wit, sense of humor, and ability to understand people not just a willingness too. I think everyone can improve their people skills, but i don't hink anyone can have good people skills. I also think that people skills are best measured with ones interactions with others. if someone has inherit physical or mental issues that make others uncomfortable it will be harder for them to have good people skills. I think i'll start a thread on the idea that looks affect people skills. also i think mental diabilities greatly affect someones people skills. I think these trends also apply on less extreme levels. saying that anyone who is willing is able to have good people skills is just silly.

-little fishy

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So you do not think that someone can learn to have good people skills? Would that make it a genetic predisposition?

[Little Fishy]

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So you do not think that someone can learn to have good people skills? Would that make it a genetic predisposition?

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I do think that someone can improve their people skills but I don't believe that this curve is equall for all people. Just like in athletics... anyone can become a better athlete in any given sport, but not everyone can become a great or even a good athlete when compared to others. and yes i do believe genetics play a role in this (how large a role is hard to say). we can see genetic influence in a reverse correlation with people skills in certain genetic related disorders ie. antisocial personality disorder, mental handicaps, and personality traits that affect how we interact with others ex: hyperactivity and ADD/ADHD. also genetics affect physical appearence which i believe also have some impact on people skills.

[Demana]

You seem to be very adamant about your beliefs.

Any particular reason why exceptional people skills couldn't come from hard work instead of predisposition?

btw - Just cause you're hung like a donkey doesn't mean you have to be a porn star...

[neorab]

I think that I agree about some people cannot gain the same level of social interaction. Social skills are more than observation and exploitation. It's the returning of emotion and empathy that makes people connect. Some things can be taught. I was a total recluse in school, I left high school a year and ahalf early to start college. I couldn't walk up to anyone and speak a cohherant sentance, I couldn't look at someone for more than a few seconds, everything about my social interaction was garbled and messed up.

Thanks to being thrown out of my parents house into the dorms one year, and some therapy, I overcame the social retards. But I still don't think I am a "people person." I'm a good liar, a good pretender, but I hate the average idiot walking down the street. Being around people who are all talky and nice all the time get me down, I can't stand it. I wear headphones alot of the time at the poker room, but I leave them off. I like to hear what's going on around me, but don't want people to talk to me.

A people person isn't someone who can converse well, I think it's someone who wants to converse and have social interactions.

[Demana]

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A people person isn't someone who can converse well, I think it's someone who wants to converse and have social interactions.

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That is a very interesting perspective.

What do you think the difference is between an extrovert and someone who has good people skills?

[neorab]

Maybe I should have been a little more clear, I think a people person has both qualities. One or the other, ability or willingness, is not enough. An extrovert may have only an intense will to socialize, but no ability. My sister is exactly this way, she tries to talk to everyone and get involved with people. She also has the quality of complete lack of wit. Her conversations are very linear and predictable. She tries but fails. She is learning as well though. Ability can be learned, willingness cannot.

[Demana]

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Ability can be learned, willingness cannot.

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There is something profound in this statement.