Funniest Line You Ever SAID at a Poker Table

[kemystery]

o/l 5-10

george is splashing pot after pot on hopeless bluffs 1K later I ask: "You do know it's REAL money, right?"

[bonanz]

Nice tooth

[RollaJ]

It sounds very corny out of context, but we were having a big religion conversation at the Taj in a 10-20 game. Eventually people were talking about Mosses, and I said you know I hear he used to play poker...... One person bit and said "Really?"
I said yeah, I read he took a hell of a bad beat when he got rivered by his mother. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] Without exageration the entire table started laughing [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Andy B]

I'm in a short-handed $15/30 game with a full $30/60 game going on behind me. I have been drinking and have a somewhat uncharacteristically loose, wild image, but I'm actually playing quite well. Floor wanders by, and I say, "put me on the $30/60 list in case I still have money left when the bar closes."

I racked up shortly after the bar closed, and the game broke as I was cashing out. I guess I was the only action. That's the one and only time that's ever happened to me.

[bugstud]

from my vegas trip

"just the usual, folks" as I turn over another hand with quads

[TylerD]

THAT is funny...the way you played that hand.

[m1illion]

There was a bet and a call on the turn with one to act behind me. I could not make up my mind whether to fold or not and i had taken two looks at my cards and finally said to the dealer
" What's the next card?"
table got a laugh.
I folded.

[The Dude]

A new player sat at my table, played about 3 hands, and noticed nobody had said a word since he sat down. He said "Quiet table, huh?"

I replied, "Shut up."

[potato]

I'm a young guy, and I have one of those young-guy intentionally-messy haircuts. I had been getting into it with an older guy again and again, nothing personal, but I was beating him in a lot of pots.

After winning another pot against him, he said, "Hey kid, are you having a bad hair day?"

I looked at his extremely receding hairline and said, "I don't know. Are you having a no-hair day?"

A few people at the table winced and he STFU.

[Gatts]

Playing online, board is QKQQK and it's checked through the hole way, I doubt anyone has anything other than the board so I bet my 24o and everyone calls, splitting. I get berated by some coach for betting right there, driving up rake, etc. Eventually he says I shouldn't bet without a hand.

Me: I had a full house!