What just happened with me and this girl??

Okay, so I'm 20 and in college. There's this girl that's played on my intramural basketball team for a couple years, and she's pretty cute (don't have pics), nice, sweet, and I've always gotten good vibes from her in the sense that I think she might be into me. She's really friendly towards me but not as much towards other guys on our team, and it's like she's always happy to see me when we run into each other.

So I think this quarter we kinda grew a little closer (our team hit some tough times, and we leaned on each other for support), and we made plans to hit up the gym tonight and play some basketball after she got some studying done for finals. Then she calls me at like 10 and says "I'm too tired to play...wanna do something else that doesn't involve a lot of activity?" so I invite her over to watch a movie at my place. We select the Bad News Bears (for its lightheartedness) and sit on the couch together in front of my 50" HDTV...thank you cards.

Anyway, I'm thinking I should probably make a move, but this girl is definitely a bit conservative - she doesn't drink whatsoever, is religious, etc. - I haven't figured out if that might be a problem for me down the road, but whatever. She's really sweet and I like her personality, but I definitely get the vibe like she might not even make out with a guy until the end of the third date or something.

So we're watching the movie, and slowly our positions are slowly gravitating towards each other, until our arms are touching at one point...(and by the way, if anyone knows some smooth lines/tricks that enable me to get from that position to cuddling position easily, I'd love to know)...so finally I just say [censored] it, and put my arm around her shoulder. She doesn't seem to mind, and repositions herself so that she's laying against my chest. We watch the rest of the movie in said fashion. After it ends, we talk about random stuff for a little bit, and she gets up to go home. I walk her out to her car.

This is where it gets confusing: I thought that putting my arm around her, and her accepting it, was kinda establishing "hey, I kinda like you, you kinda like me, that's cool, let's do this again sometime." But when we get to her car, she's just like "Have a good break if I don't see you again (break starts Dec. 10), and call me if you want to play basketball some time, or if you go skiing in Oregon" (we'll be about two hours away from each other over winter break, and there's a ski place in between that we each said we might go to). I was expecting something more like "yeah, let's hang out again soon." We then hugged and she left. So now I'm just confused, because if she's into me I'd expect a more enthusiastic response when she left about what had just happened during the movie.

I know I'm subjecting myself to some ridicule by making this post, and it's probably deserved, but I'd appreciate some advice as well. Is she into me? What's my play?

[craig r]

Well, if she is the religious type take it slow. I dated a girl like that in high school. That way gets pregnant, it stays pregnanat. Trust me, I know. Uhhhhh....no i don't.

craig
(GOB)

[siccjay]

You should have made a move. Nothing more too it. Don't worry so much about what she says. Don't call her but ACCIDENTALLY running into her again wouldn't be a bad idea. If you do call her, do it to make plans. Get her over again and make a move.

[Dantes]

she wants you but she wants you to make the move. You have one shot i.e. the next time you see her. Don't eff this one up.

[surfinillini]

[ QUOTE ]
she wants you but she wants you to make the move. You have one shot i.e. the next time you see her. Don't eff this one up.

[/ QUOTE ]

well said, you missed this opportunity...if a girl wants to spend time with you she will make excuses to, like the line where she says she is still too tired to play ball but still wanted to hang out. If she wanted to shine you off she would've said "I'm too tired to play ball, we'll hang out another time"

Simple as that, don't be such a pussy or wimp = woussy

[BreakEvenPlayer]

If she's super religious and doesn't drink, you shouldn't waste your time with her unless you share those inclinations.

If you're really into her you need to be more direct and confident. Someday before break send her a text message in the evening that says "What are you up to?" She'll reply with something like "Nothing, just sitting around." Then you drop a message that says "Come over and hang out." If she likes you she'll come over or at least make immediate plans to hang out soon. If not she will react tentatively and you will know to move on.

This seems like the kind of girl you'll have to take on several dates before getting any kind of action though so I don't know if it's worth it.

[Yeti]

There's still plenty of time before you end up in the friendzone. I wouldn't sweat it.

BEP's middle paragraph is good advice.

[utmt40]

Good comments BEP.

So I assume making a move = kissing her? Any way to make that happen more smoothly than just going for it sometime when we happen to be looking at each other?

I'll have to call her, finals are next week so I won't be seeing her around at all.

I'm not religious, and do drink, but unless she'd judge me badly because I differ from her in those areas (she doesn't seem like the snooty type to do that at all) then I don't think it should be a problem, as long as she respects my decisions and beliefs just like I respect hers.

And yeah, I'm not a pro with girls...that's why I'm asking. I have the guts, I'm just too analytical about [censored] like this and never know how to go about doing it.

BEP, you ever go to Chumash? I'm up in SLO.

[diebitter]

there's lots on this already in here. Search for me or dominic or alobar for threads that talk about dates/girl issues (not necessaily for our advice, mind, but to help locate threads on it, and see the range of advice).

Or try finding 'one armed wussy hug' thread.

BEP + others pretty much said it tho - confidence + boldness is key.

who dares wins, Rodders!