Quick Question about cheating in marriage (long, but please read) - Page 3

2+2 wannabe · #21 10-03-2005, 10:38 PM

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[censored] me.

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No offence, but at least you know where you got your super computer hiding skills from.

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that was mean [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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agreed - totally uncalled for

[censored] · #22 10-03-2005, 10:38 PM

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Riiiiiiight.

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well i'm not sure why you edited your original reply, perhaps you are a jackass. I don't know.

The original reply possed the question should you trust your dad again? only if it was that easy. If you don't currently the more important question is are you capable of forgiving and trusting again? This is different for everyone and doesn't have anything to do with your dad. If you are then yes, atleast I would.

HopeydaFish · #23 10-03-2005, 10:42 PM

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[censored] me.

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No offence, but at least you know where you got your super computer hiding skills from.

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that was mean [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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agreed - totally uncalled for

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Meh...I found it kind of funny. It wasn't that mean, just poking fun.

LBJ · #24 10-03-2005, 10:44 PM

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Riiiiiiight.

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well i'm not sure why you edited your original reply, perhaps you are a jackass. I don't know.

The original reply possed the question should you trust your dad again? only if it was that easy. If you don't currently the more important question is are you capable of forgiving and trusting again? This is different for everyone and doesn't have anything to do with your dad. If you are then yes, atleast I would.

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I dono, I was just gonna do away with the whole thread. Then I got owned for the 2nd time and it was too late to edit my original post.

Sephus · #25 10-03-2005, 10:46 PM

i intentionally left mine vague so you could do some editing and at least make it less obvious. you could have made it seem like you posted some really dumb advice and then deleted it.

[censored] · #26 10-03-2005, 10:47 PM

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Riiiiiiight.

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well i'm not sure why you edited your original reply, perhaps you are a jackass. I don't know.

The original reply possed the question should you trust your dad again? only if it was that easy. If you don't currently the more important question is are you capable of forgiving and trusting again? This is different for everyone and doesn't have anything to do with your dad. If you are then yes, atleast I would.

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I dono, I was just gonna do away with the whole thread. Then I got owned for the 2nd time and it was too late to edit my original post.

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Ever ask yourself, why do I need to more anonymous than I already am? Kind of silly don't think? I mean it's not like people are going to follow you from thread to thread posting "OMG LOL you're dad looks at porn" or whatever. A good rule would be, if you can't post it under your normal account, then it probably shouldn't be posted at all.

LBJ · #27 10-03-2005, 10:49 PM

It was more about the age thing. People don't respect 16 or 17 year olds. In fact, the shun them and think they don't belong here. That's just my opinion.

GimmickAccount · #28 10-03-2005, 10:49 PM

Don't listen to this guy, he's got no idea what he's talking about.

Pyromaniac · #29 10-04-2005, 01:37 AM

Thoughts:

Another poster mentioned counseling. I'd second that. You're already looking for that by posting here...with counseling you get a (at least semi-) professional who you can talk one-on-one with. And you make it pretty clear that you don't/can't talk to anyone else about it--your parents or your siblings. You need to lighten your own load by talking through this with someone in a confidential situation.

Marriage: Chances are, your parents have had problems for a while. You were either too young to notice them or just weren't looking for them. Either way, the thing you have to realize is that the marriage is between your mom and dad. It's not about you. They love you, but the marriage is theirs...not yours. Just like, if you have a girlfriend, that boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is between the two of you, not your parents.

Divorce: Sucks. There are worse things, though it might not seem that way to you at the moment. About the cheating: chances are that that's the *result* of the problems in the marriage, not the root cause. Just the symptom. Whether it's worse than regular cheating or not doesn't really matter...what matters is how your parents address the problems in their marriage, and whether they're *really* addressing them or just hiding/ignoring them.

...sounds like you've hit the grow-up-really-quick-against-your-will stage of life, and I'm sympathethic. I hope you can get some support to help it work out for you.

diebitter · #30 10-04-2005, 04:50 AM

Whether you can trust your dad again - I don't know, that's really up to you. But he sounds like a decent man who has pretty much done a man's job raising his family and mostly been right all along the way - you know this, I'm not telling you anything you didn't say in your OP.

I didn't have a father at all (well I saw him once or twice, last time at 15 when I told him to get lost and leave me and my mother alone (cos I knew his very occasional appearances upset her) - and fair credit, he did), and never felt a thing about it till I now have kids of my own, and I realised what I missed - completely and utterly missed. I wish I'd had a father even a 1/3rd the man your dad is. Hell, I don't even know if mine is dead or alive, and don't particularly care - because I've no reason to - not like you.

Your dad's a human being - he makes mistakes.

Okay, I've rambled too.

I hope this helps in some small way - I do sympathise and realise this is a big problem for you, and wish you luck.