How do you feel about people outright asking you for money?

[Python49]

It just seems to me that the fact you have money changes peoples views on you and how they treat you. I have to admit that when I first started playing I was very fascinated with winning and im young, so naturally I felt like telling friends and family about my success because it was something I was enthusiastic about.

I kind of wish I had never told people to begin with. Well not erally that but, i just wish that people didn't react the way they do.

My room mate last year for example used to come in and watch me play and see how much money I had and would say, "Yo man how about you just give me $300, you got so much money man". And i'd say "Why would i do that? You're a college student just like myself whose trying to get by.. what reason would I have to just give away money?". He actually felt that I was stingy for not GIVING away money. He's not the only one i've had ask for money, i've had others ask me for money too.

It's partially my fault because im just a very open person and used to tell people if they asked how much I was up... i don't do that anymore though but its too late, people already know. It spreads pretty fast. I go to a game on campus and people will talk about how im up all this money and should host a party. What makes people genuinely feel as though its alright to ask for someone elses money? Is it the way that it was made? Maybe they feel I hit a jack pot or something and didn't earn it legitimately?

I just got done having a convesration with one of the people who would ask me because I wanted to make a point and see if he agreed. I asked him if I made my money working for $50 an hour over the summer at a job with some corporation would he still ask for money, and was told no. I tried to drive home the point that just because I have more money than him does not mean I have money that I can just give away, it's not like i'm rich and very well off or anything. Even if I were, what obligations would I have to just giving away money to someone else just because they ask? I have no problem helping someone to help themselves, but what good does just giving someone money do? The way I see it, I had to earn what I have on my own, shouldnt others have to do the same? If my friend were to get a nice paying job, I wouldn't just start asking them for money.. so why do other people do it and then act as though you're a greedy person when telling them no? He tried to draw an analogy to me not donating money to him with me not donating money to hurricane katrina, I told him that I would and already HAVE donated money to this and its completely different. Why should I have to give money away that I earned on my own to other people who have not earned it? How would you respond to someone saying "Wow you have X amount of money? Give me 1,000.. aww why not? You have so much, stop being greedy".

Am I in the wrong or something because this view is shared by more than one person... people just seem to want something for nothing. I do NOT just go around telling random people I don't know about what i've won, i just tell friends because most of them know I play, and then they tell others and it comes up when talking with acquantinces. I WOULD give away money to a close friend in a situation if he needed it for a legitimate purpose other than just wanting it to have it. Anyone else had experience with this? Whats your view and how do you respond.

[4_2_it]

You are learning a valuable lesson. Don't ever discuss your financial situation outside of your immediate family (and even that can get you in trouble).

Obviously you are young and so are your friends and you are still learning about the true concept of money and what it takes to live on your own (if I am mistaken, no offense intended).

I never mention money (poker or otherwise) with any of my friends. Frankly, it is none of their business and they should have the good manners not to ask. If it ever comes up, I say something vague like "I'm doing okay" or "some days are better than others." I never say, "I just won $500 off some idiot who called my quads all-in!"

Frankly, I would question how much of friend someone really is if they expect you to share the wealth with them. You are certainly under no obligation to do so unless you believe everyone should live a communal existence and share all possessions with their neighbors. In that case, you should immediately move to the nearest communist country (hurry, there are few left), but beware, because I think that gambling and surfing the 'net may be capital offenses there.

As to helping those in need, whether financial or otherwise, I believe you should always do this when you are able because it is +EV in life. Being generous is much different than being sponged off of (if that is the correct way of saying it).

[TheWorstPlayer]

Nice post. I am also very open with several friends about these things. But most of them are in the same boat as I am - work at a good job, have more money than they really know what to do with, also are winning poker players, etc. The friends that I have who don't play a lot of winning poker, I don't discuss finances with nearly as much because it is just uncomfortable. It will inevitably either make them feel weird or make me regret it. It is better in life just to be quiet and humble in general. Try hard, do well, accept the good with the bad, and just go about your business. I really liked the story about the woman who lived in a little apartment in New York and rarely spent a dime. Then she died and left $22 million to a college as a gift. Made me think, y'know?

I don't discuss my finances with anyone. Not even my parents. My girlfriend knows more than most, but even she only knows my approximate deposits into my bank account, not the size of my bankroll or the levels I'm playing at.

Very few people, even other poker players, understand that there's a huge difference between an $xx,xxx bankroll and having $xx,xxx in the bank. They also don't understand that even though you can make four or five figures in one night you can't just do that whenever you want. I don't even discuss the size of the games I play in, as I don't want people making guesses at what I'm earning.

[Richie Rich]

[ QUOTE ]
It's partially my fault because im just a very open person and used to tell people if they asked how much I was up... I go to a game on campus and people will talk about how im up all this money and should host a party.

[/ QUOTE ]
If you don't mind me asking, how much are we talking about here?

[Python49]

So is this a trick question?

[J.A.Sucker]

Hey dude, can you spare me 500 bucks? PM me for my stars name. Thanks.

[bernie]

Great friends...

Anyone who tries that hard to get 'free' money from you isn't a friend.

Screw 'em. You don't have to have a reason for not lending them money. Why is the burden on you? The more they ask for a reason, that becomes the reason, imo.

None of my buds have ever asked for a dime yet I'd help 'em out if they needed it. I also don't really tell them how much I make playing. I sure never bring it up.

I'd hang out with different people.

b

[Jorge10]

I was going to make a post just like this one, by being an open person you mean you have to tell someone you are kicking ass! I hate to say it, but its the same with me, its just that my parents keep asking, how much did you win? did you play? and my friends as well, but none have asked for money...yet. Still I have to say I still need to get that under control, I think I will never speak to anyone about poker that doesnt play poker ever again. I just need a good lie for when people ask me what I do for cash. Also I think you need some friends that play poker to tell about your wins, which is something I need as well, I need to get some friends that play poker, people that dont play poker just dont get it.

[Python49]

[ QUOTE ]
Great friends...

Anyone who tries that hard to get 'free' money from you isn't a friend.

Screw 'em. You don't have to have a reason for not lending them money. Why is the burden on you? The more they ask for a reason, that becomes the reason, imo.

None of my buds have ever asked for a dime yet I'd help 'em out if they needed it. I also don't really tell them how much I make playing. I sure never bring it up.

I'd hang out with different people.

[/ QUOTE ]
Well they do it in a joking way kinda so its not like a buncha nagging negativity, that only happened with one person.. my room mate last year. But people say it in a way where its like.. they wanna sound like they're joking but still want you to respond yes or no.