OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.

[partygirluk]

Inspired by

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050728/80/fof91.html

[YourFoxyGrandma]

[ QUOTE ]
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha. Hilarious.

[xadrez]

Like, I'll never forget the day my daddy bought me my first Hermes bag.

[Oski]

"A note about our English ... we are not novelists we are professional Poker Players."

[coffeecrazy1]

How about this:

The winter snows were finally melting, rolling off the roof of the stately manor in rivulets and rills, dripping onto the ground with the sound of beer-laden urine splashing into a filthy trough urinal during the second quarter of the Super Bowl.

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
Like, I'll never forget the day my daddy bought me my first Hermes bag.

[/ QUOTE ]

This had some potential. It would have been better had you modeled it after

[ QUOTE ]
Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

[/ QUOTE ]

[meep_42]

"I've been crying for the last hour -- someone ruined my favorite jeans," she confessed to one of the ex-boyfriends she tried to kill.

-d

[jokerthief]

[ QUOTE ]
"I've been crying for the last hour -- someone ruined my favorite jeans," she confessed to one of the ex-boyfriends she tried to kill.

-d

[/ QUOTE ]

Winner.

[krimson]

[ QUOTE ]
"I've been crying for the last hour -- someone ruined my favorite jeans," she confessed to one of the ex-boyfriends she tried to kill.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you kidding me? This would be a best seller.

[Yeti]

"In the beginning, there was nothing.."