An open letter to myself (long)

[IdiotVig]

This game is not easy. Even at your best, there will be swings enough to make you question your game, your bankroll, your purpose for playing, and what you've done with your life.

Tonight, you went 11 straight OOTM in the Stars 11s SNGs, plus an 11 MTT. You 4-tabled continuously the entire time, and started to tilt. You knew this was a time where you needed to stop, focus, and recognize the good things you normally do that is the reason why you have a positive ROI. You did not review hand histories, you did not IM/call up your friends to discuss, you did not post to 2+2. You cannot play through tilt. You cannot play through tilt.

You abandoned your good reads. It is not fruitful to fire a second barrel on a bluff into a player who's played 80% of his hands, and half of those to the end, no matter what he held. You cannot check-raise someone all-in who will can't release a hand when they've caught a piece of the flop, and won't bet unless they hit. You knew this, and with each error, you still felt like you were owed every pot. Losing the next one by playing even worse did nothing to assuage that feeling.

You did not accept the variance that comes with this game. 11 OOTM is nothing. 25 OOTM, while significant, happens every day to players much better than yourself, in games much bigger than you play. The same way you accept heaters, you must accept coolers, too. Accept that as you are more likely to show a profit than others in this game, your coolers should not last as long; not only because you are smarter about making the most of your edges, but because your head should prevent you from letting the cooler last longer than it should.

You will probably not be among the world's best. You will probably not make the final table of a major tournament. You will probably not get a book deal. You will probably not sponsor an online card room. You will probably not date Jennifer Tilly.

But you can play at a level that you know creates an overlay, garners you profits, and even lets you have some fun while you do so.

Just make sure your head's right. If it's not, you've lost.

[IdiotVig]

This is possibly the wrong forum for this kind of post. Some may wonder even why I chose to post it in the first place.

This is something I had to display not only in front of myself, but in front of my peers, as well. I would not likely reread this post if I wrote it down on a letter -- it'd either end up burnt, or in the trash. This way, I'm accountable.

My apologies if it's a waste of forum space. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

[SNOWBALL138]

I think your post is fine [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[BOTW]

I hope you don't mind my petty, selfish response. I think pain is a part of this game.

Here's my story: I'm trying. Hard. -~400BB. Moved down--6x. About to drop again. I keep doing a +/-/+/-/+/-/+/- pattern. I review my play, and know I could have lost ~10bb less or won ~10bb more each session. Here is my tilt: Start after a losing session like a wimp; and finish a losing session like a LAG chump. With "perfect" play, I'd be around -275 BBs, I think. That would be crappy, but OK considering my cards.

Tomorrow, both of us will start anew. Tormorrow, both of us will start anew. Whether or not either of us choose to play poker, does not matter. Tormorrow, both of us will start anew.

I think I'll choose to play again...

[KaneKungFu123]

ive written exactly what you wrote before. i usually end up begging myself to stop tilting by the end of the letter!