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#42
08-08-2005, 02:37 PM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
[ QUOTE ]
Replace one of your molars with a cyanide capsule. Probably a good idea to do this within a day or so of the game, because while the capsule is in your mouth you'll want to avoid chewing solid foods. (This could lead to some unpleasant results.) You may have a difficult time finding a dentist who will remove a molar for no real reason, and you'll definitely have trouble finding an appropriate capsule and a person who will help install it, so I suggest you plan this out far ahead of time. The last thing you want is to finally get a dentist to do it, and then find out half your buddies are fishing all week and won't be able to play poker till next Friday. So plan ahead and make sure you have a dentist, black-market cyanide capsule (and assistant to help insert it in your mouth) and a poker game all lined up within 72 hours of each other! Now, wait for the perfect hand. "Slow rolling", of course, ONLY WORKS IF YOU HAVE THE BEST HAND. I suggest waiting for the purest nuts, such as an Ace-high flush on a non-paired and non-straight flush possibility board, so as to ensure that you don't "slow roll" an opponent who actually has you beat! Now, wait until the end of the hand when you have the absolute nuts and are GUARANTEED a NON-SPLIT pot! Let your opponents turn over your cards one by one, then say, "Oh damn guys, I only have a..." now BITE! Slam that cyanide capsule with all your masculine jaw's might, and swallow...It'll taste kind of like almonds and I suggest you swallow as much as possible (get some saliva in your mouth as the final round of betting progresses for best results) Grab your cards, clutch them to your chest and give yourself (and your chair) some backwards momentum as the cyanide begins its dirty work. Don't worry about the harmful effects of gravity pulling you and your chair backwards, you'll probably be dead enough by the time you hit the ground not to care. Your friends will literally have to pull the nuts from your cold dead fingers, and give the pot to your next of kin. Talk about a slow-roll, dude. That'll get them for sure. Please write a post about how it went, and leave it with your lawyer so he can post here to let us know that it worked! [/ QUOTE ] this was the most un-funny thing i have ever read guy is trying waay too hard 
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#43
08-08-2005, 06:48 PM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
did you get them?
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#44
08-08-2005, 07:35 PM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
[ QUOTE ]
..."What? What's that? You want to go in the pot? OK, here ya go guys!" [/ QUOTE ] I am SO plagiarizing this -ZEN
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#45
08-08-2005, 09:30 PM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
[ QUOTE ]
Sorry, I can't encourage stupid irritating behaviour, so no hints from moi. [/ QUOTE ] I agree. So many players learn these stupid habits in home games and then bring them into a casino. String betting, splashing the pot etc...
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#46
08-08-2005, 10:31 PM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
[ QUOTE ]
this was the most un-funny thing i have ever read [/ QUOTE ] You should read more. I liked it. Thanks for the laugh, Doc. I feel the OP got exactly what he was looking for here.
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#48
08-09-2005, 10:28 AM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
"We were playing Pot Limit Omaha and the final board was non paired with the king of clubs and 3 other clubs. I had the bare ace of clubs and tried to bluff at the pot with the nut blocker. He called me down with the queen high flush and tried to slowroll it by first just showing 2 queens on the river, little did he know his 2 queens were good enough to take it down."
Awesome. My favorite new style-y is to slow roll busted draws when called on the river, so, NH. Usually best accompanied by "I got the nuts"...The confusion as they try to fit your trash into the board for a few moments is almost worth the loss. You mentioned creative string betting before, didn't you? How would that work? I like your ideas, and I would like to receive some of your promotional literature.
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#49
08-09-2005, 01:51 PM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
Creative string betting would have to involve some sort of a stall tactic between your call and your raise. I was asking for advice on that, so I don't have anything myself.
I did however just think of an f'ed up move I am going to try next home game. After I fold preflop I am going to try and raise someone on a later betting round and see if I can take down an uncontested pot without any cards. This one will be all about perfect timing because I will only get one shot at it. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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#50
08-10-2005, 09:41 AM
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Re: Slow rolling advice needed
We may be the only two people who think this is funny...
How about: Announce "Raise", then put in a too small raise. When everyone says, "hey you can't do that" say, "OK then I call" "No you have to raise." "Ok then, ALL IN!" Or try to fold out of turn. Usually at a home game they'll make you take your cards back. You say "well OK" When it gets back around to you, raise! If the dealer screws up and forgets to give you two cards, don't say anything. Move the one close to your chips and cover it with somnething. Then call all bets as far as you can waiting for the chance to move all in. If you get called, say: "Wait, it's a misdeal!" (ONLY try these at home people, doing this in a serious game is totally arseish).
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