Funny Lines from movies that aren't comedies

[UseThePeenEnd]

[ QUOTE ]
Leave the gun.
Take the cannolis.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh Sir.

[UseThePeenEnd]

Dr. Lechter: "Best thing for him, really; his career was going nowhere".

[Dave G.]

Arnie: "You know how I said I'd kill you last?"
Some guy: "Yeah, yeah that's right Matrix, you did!"
Arnie: "I lied."

Well, maybe that's more just damn cool than funny, but I crack up every time I hear it.

Another one: Wesley Snipes in Passenger 57 as he's talking to the head terrorist dude: "Always bet on black." Now this is supposed to be some kind of "tough guy" line, that all the movie tough guys have... like Bruce Willis has "yippie kiyay [censored]" and so forth, but this line is just so horrendously bad I cringed for everyone who had to hear it. At the same time though, I burst out laughing when I heard it. What a weak ass one-liner.

[MrMon]

"You're going to need a bigger boat."

[DVC Calif]

Vincent: Want some bacon?

Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.

Vincent: Are you Jewish?

Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.

Vincent: Why not?

Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in [censored]. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own feces.

Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.

Jules: I don't eat dog either.

Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

-Pulp Fiction

[swede123]

Nice. You could pretty much put any line from this movie into this thread.

Swede

[BiffMan]

Field of Dreams:

"What are you doing with that?"

"I'm going to beat you with a crowbar until you go away"

[2planka]

Bond: Who are you

PG: I'm Pussy Galore

Bond: I must be dreaming.

[Tyler Durden]

[ QUOTE ]
endless quotes from this movie, even though it's a satire (not really a comedy):

"Get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your ass"

"Varda truffle? I don't want you to get drunk, but uh, that's a very fine chardonnay you're not drinking"

"I'm into, oh geez, Murders and Executions mostly.
Do you like it?
Well that depends. Why?
Most guys I know...who are into Mergers and Acquisitions...really don't like it."

"I see they've omitted the pork loin with lime jello."

"Mistletoe alert"

[/ QUOTE ]

Feed me a stray cat.

"What happened to your face?"

"She crossed her legs too fast."

He ad-libbed that snappy comeback.