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#71
11-03-2005, 03:24 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
i understand what you're saying, let me turn the question around on you.
If we take the OP at his word, that he believes she is naive about it. Or even knows in sub-conciously but is not actively pursueing it, is it possible that she still cares about the OP more then the calender dude? If the answer to the previous question is yes, and the OP cares a lot about her, should he immediately pre-emptively dump her? Hey maybe i'm not right, but i'm pretty sure that's wrong. 
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#72
11-03-2005, 04:35 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
Maybe the OP should watch Forrest Gump again. (seriously)
I think Dom's advice is good for this sort of situation, in general, but I don't know if it'll work for the OP. He's come here with the implied question of "how do I hang on to this relationship"...not, "how do I end it". I'm afraid if he just dumps her that he'll go crawling back in a month or two, and then he'll be doubly-[censored]. Irishpint: your GF is young and...let's say, clueless. And you seem to be stuck to this relationship. So you've got, let's say, three choices. You can stay stuck to the relationship and get drug through a lot of crap while she figures out her naivete...lots of pain over a long period of time. You can end the relationship, as suggested here by many...painful but (if you can stick by your guns and not go crawling back) quick. Dom's solution. You can try to work things out with her...which I think is what Jdanz is advocating. The thing is, if this doesn't work, then you're back to having to choose one of the above two. You don't seem like you're ready to call it off, so that's what I'd suggest, too. Just be straight/rational about it. "Hey, if you want to do BF/GF things with other guys, that's your choice, but it's not part of a relationship that I want to be in." It's possible that you'll be able to work this out. It's not *likely*--which is what the other posters are saying. But it seems like something you've got to get out of your system. If that doesn't work, you'll either break up with her...or you won't, and you'll let her drag you along through whatever [censored] she's in the mood for. Which, you know, that's your life/choice. Just don't lie to yourself about what's really happening. And keep in mind that when she's done she's just as likely to dump you in the end, too.
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#73
11-03-2005, 05:24 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
[ QUOTE ]
The funniest part about this thread is that no one has called him on his belief that there actually was going to be a calendar that she was going to be featured in. This "photographer" was just some loser who convinced a hot young chick that he was legit and putting together a calendar, and then paid her to pose in the nude. It's the oldest trick in the book. [/ QUOTE ] Didn't he say that he didn't believe it either? "during those 2 weeks she poses naked for a calender (right...)"
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#74
11-03-2005, 06:43 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
this is kinda what i'm saying, but i think people are massively overreacting to dinner and movies.
The idea that this relationship needs to be "salvaged" is just complete overkill in my mind. I know i'm going to be in the minority here, but i frankly wouldn't give a damn at all if my girlfriend went to dinner/movies with a guy friend. I'd be more uncomfortable if the guy wanted to get in her pants, but i legitimately wouldn't care that much. I think the 1 in 10 comment i made early is really important here. If you can't trust your girlfriend with a guy that likes her that YOU ARE AWARE OF how can you expect to really trust her ever, in any meaningful way. I would be really really pissed if my girlfriend had the audacity to tell me who i could and couldn't have dinner with.
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#75
11-03-2005, 06:48 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
[ QUOTE ]
I'd be more uncomfortable if the guy wanted to get in her pants [/ QUOTE ] You're a guy. Surely you know by now that he obviously wants to get into her pants.
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#77
11-03-2005, 06:57 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
[ QUOTE ]
yeah, i'm sure he does, but i'm sure the OP wants to get into like 19 different girl pants that aren't his girlfriend. It's not about wanting to hook up with someone it's about self-control. [/ QUOTE ] more than 19...but the point you're making, that i'm getting, is i trust her 100% so I shouldn't care about what she is doing/with who since I trust her.
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#79
11-03-2005, 07:01 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
[ QUOTE ]
this is kinda what i'm saying, but i think people are massively overreacting to dinner and movies. [/ QUOTE ] After he made up a calendar to photograph her nude. [ QUOTE ] I know i'm going to be in the minority here, but i frankly wouldn't give a damn at all if my girlfriend went to dinner/movies with a guy friend. [/ QUOTE ] After he made up a calendar to photograph her nude. [ QUOTE ] If you can't trust your girlfriend with a guy that likes her that YOU ARE AWARE OF how can you expect to really trust her ever, in any meaningful way. [/ QUOTE ] She got naked for this guy. [ QUOTE ] I would be really really pissed if my girlfriend had the audacity to tell me who i could and couldn't have dinner with. [/ QUOTE ] Made up calendar. Naked pictures.
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#80
11-03-2005, 07:07 PM
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Re: girls are annoying
ok, i'm gonna say it real simple.
If you don't trust the girl no long distance relationship If you do then long distance is fine. you can't control her by telling her to not hang out with the guy, you can only make her a possesion/ resent you/ lie to you. As i thought was clear and Irish apparently agreed, you trust or or you don't, and only he can decide that. All those people saying naked pictures when you weren't dating~!!@@@!@! are fixating on a guy who obviously wants to hook up with her, instead of the girl who said she won't hook up with anyone else. It could be bullshit, but i have no idea how we're able to determine that.
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