What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[MaxPower]

I've heard a ton of them.

A fellow 2+2 poster told me a funny one last weekend at the Borgata (I think it was Scrub).

He was in a 3/6 game with some friends and was just screwing around - playing too many hands, raising with junk hands, etc.

Finally, some guy at the table gets upset and says, "Hey kid, would you stop screwing around I'm trying to make a living here."

[Holm Fries]

I have come to the conclusion over the last few months that a crazy, gambling persona as perceived by the other players is much more profitable than being seen as a TAG. So I tend to throw lines out there to try to increase this "nutty" perception. At least once a night I will throw out that I am determined to "only play hands that can flop two pair." It is usually greeted by either confusion or smirks. Little do they know...

[Pokergod]

[ QUOTE ]
but its always fun when you have a fast played AA cracked by Q7. look over at the guy only to hear "suited",

[/ QUOTE ]

That's funny because two nights ago UTG called, and I raised on the button with AA. It was surprisingly heads up. Flop came Q-Q-2. He checked, I bet, he called (uh-oh).
Turn another Q, he bets, I call, I'm not sure what the river card is. He bets, I call. He turns over Q7o, looks at me and says "same color".

We all laughed pretty hard......

even me.

PG

[Pokergod]

PLaying 15-30 HE, I flop set of queens. Guy to my right (original raiser) makes a wheel on the river of a Q-4-5 flop with his AKo.

After the hand, which was a pot of about $600 (another guy had the case queen) The AK guy pats my shoulder and says "Sorry buddy, but that's why I hate these two card games, you just can't protect your hand."

PG

[Maura]

Not sure this qualifies as "funny", but it's certainly
the worst advice I ever got.

First time playing live, i open raise with 99 in late position and win when i spike a set on the river (BB had
flopped 2-pair)
Old guy next to me says... "You got really lucky. You really shouldn't raise before the flop since you have to hit
the flop to win. I'll raise with aces, but only if i'm winning"

~Maura

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
I am determined to "only play hands that can flop two pair."

[/ QUOTE ]

You are much looser than me. I only play hands that can flop a full house or quads.

[wm r the rake]

this one cracks me up also....we play a 3/6 limit game...we have this one guy that tries to be scotty nguyen and yells out all the time mocking his voice "that's no-limit, baby"...helloooooooo it's a limit game [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Aces McGee]

i was playing at the Luxor last weekend and some drunk dude was betting and raising at every opportunity. every time he had 83o, which was at least twice, at the hand of the hand, he'd flip it over and say that. it was really annoying.

-McGee

[slavic]

Ok last one.

At the muck in a tight 10/20 group of regulars. It's checked to an old man on the button who looks at the blinds. He asks, "Do you have jackpot hands?" they check their cards and shake their heads.

He raises.

[Sundevils21]

Home game NLHE $1-$2 blinds. Both players have about $200
New player who has every WPT show memorized, but has only played once. We'll call him(Drunk), hed been drinking a little too much before he got to the game. Anyway, after folding every hand preflop about 10 times, he wakes up with an EP raise to about 6 bucks. Only the co calls. Flop: A [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]A [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Drunk bets out 10bucks, co raises to 20, drunk says "I'm all in" while flipping over his cards. He happened to have A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]. co, says "whew, thank goodness" while folding K [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] face up.