Book with best opening paragraph

[sfer]

Out of recent reads, Motherless Brooklyn.

[Sightless]

[ QUOTE ]
"If you're going to read this, don't bother. After a couple of pages, you won't want to be here. So forget it. Go away. Get out while you're still in one piece. Save yourself. There has to be something better on television. Or since you have so much time on your hands, maybe you could take a night course. Become a doctor. You could make something out of yourself. Treat yourself to a dinner out. Color your hair. You're not getting any younger. What happens here is first going to piss you off. After that it just gets worse and worse."

[/ QUOTE ]

I was about to post the same thing, you win

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"If you're going to read this, don't bother. After a couple of pages, you won't want to be here. So forget it. Go away. Get out while you're still in one piece. Save yourself. There has to be something better on television. Or since you have so much time on your hands, maybe you could take a night course. Become a doctor. You could make something out of yourself. Treat yourself to a dinner out. Color your hair. You're not getting any younger. What happens here is first going to piss you off. After that it just gets worse and worse."

[/ QUOTE ]

By the way, this was "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you mean "Joke?" That's what he is.

[Sightless]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"If you're going to read this, don't bother. After a couple of pages, you won't want to be here. So forget it. Go away. Get out while you're still in one piece. Save yourself. There has to be something better on television. Or since you have so much time on your hands, maybe you could take a night course. Become a doctor. You could make something out of yourself. Treat yourself to a dinner out. Color your hair. You're not getting any younger. What happens here is first going to piss you off. After that it just gets worse and worse."

[/ QUOTE ]

By the way, this was "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you mean "Joke?" That's what he is.

[/ QUOTE ]

is this your attempt at humor?

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Did you mean "Joke?" That's what he is.

[/ QUOTE ]

is this your attempt at humor?

[/ QUOTE ]

It was my attempt at a statement of opinion.

[Danenania]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Did you mean "Joke?" That's what he is.

[/ QUOTE ]

is this your attempt at humor?

[/ QUOTE ]

It was my attempt at a statement of opinion.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed. I liked him in high school then grew up a bit. Don Delillo does everything Palahniuk does and a whole lot more in his writing.

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
Awkward grammar appals a craftsman. A Dada bard as daft as Tzara damns stagnant art and scrawls an alpha (a slapdash arc and a backward zag) that mars all stanzas and jams all ballads (what a scandal). A madcap vandal crafts a small black ankh - a handstamp that can stamp a wax pad and at last plant a mark that sparks an ars magna (an abstract art that charts a phrasal anagram). A pagan skald chants a dark saga (a Mahabharata), as a papal cabal blackballs all annals and tracts, all dramas and psalms: Kant and Kafka, Marx and Marat. A law as harsh as a fatwa bans all paragraphs that lack an A as a standard hallmark.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can anyone guess the book? One of my absolute favorites. Obviously no using Google, you cheaters.

[diebitter]

Rushdie? Eco?

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
Rushdie? Eco?

[/ QUOTE ]
No. No. Did you like the opening?

[jason_t]

Eunoia. [censored] infuriating.