favourite movie rants

[PokerBob]

i like the one in "A Few Good Men" where Tom Cruise goes nuts and finishes with the line "Thank you for playing should we or should we not take the advice of the galacticly stupid.

[nomadtla]

Not a rant. More a statement of purpose. But given some of the other non-rants that have been mentioned I feel it a shame to leave this one out.

[ QUOTE ]
Now you will recieve us. We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry. We do not want your tired and sick. It is your corrupt we claim. It is your evil that will be sucked by us. With every breath we shall hunt them down. Each day we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies. Do not kill! Do not rape! Do not steal! These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior. And those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost. There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain. But if you do one day you will look behind you and you will see we three. And on that day you will repent! And we will send you towards ever god, you wish.
And shepherds we shall be for Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand.
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee,
and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In nomine Patris, Et Philii, Spiritus Sancti.

[/ QUOTE ]

Edit: since I put a non-rant I felt the need for a semi-rant as well.
A rant by God no less.

[ QUOTE ]
GOD: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel! If
there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
ARTHUR: Sorry--
GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone
it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy". What
are you doing now!?
ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord.
GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms -- they're so
depressing. Now knock it off!
ARTHUR: Yes, Lord.
GOD: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons -- you're Knights of the
Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark
times.
ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord!
GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! Arthur, this is the Holy
Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek
this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur -- the Quest for the
Holy Grail.


[/ QUOTE ]

[slickpoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room - and someone who'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy's not enjoying it?

You know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things are funny or mildly amusing! You're a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for ya! And, oh, here's a gun so you can blow your brains out, you'll thank me for it!"

I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face! And they'd say, "How can you stand it?" And I'd say, "Because I've been with Del Griffith, I can take anything!" Y'know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy...whoa!" It's like going on a date with a Chatty-Kathy doll. I expect you to have a string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would! Dyah dyah dyah dyah!

And, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

[/ QUOTE ]

From the same movie:

- You can start by wiping that [censored] dumb-ass smile off your rosy [censored] cheeks. And you can give a [censored] automobile. A [censored] Buick, a [censored] Datson, a [censored] Toyota . . four [censored] wheels and a seat!
- I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
- And I don't really care for the way your company left me in the middle of [censored] nowhere with [censored] keys to a [censored] car that isn't [censored] there. And I really don't care to walk across a [censored] highway and across a [censored] runway just to get back here and have you smile at my [censored] face. I want a [censored] car, right, [censored], now.

[HoldingFolding]

Well, of all the causes to take up, AIDS, cancer... hunger, poverty. I've always felt there was something special about people who commit themselves to guns. Anyone I suppose could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country's getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly... shooting people. United States, this is were men live. Australia, all their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the outback. They get about... 15 gun homicides a year. What the hell is that? We get ten thousand. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999 for kids between 15 and 19 they didn't have one handgun murder, not one! We had over five thousand! Our teenagers are tough, but it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands and for that we need committed, good people like all of you. Look at these idiots in Washington who think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. And the stupid Democrats think we should have ten day waiting periods. What happens if you need to kill somebody today? Next thing the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we are talking about the toothless illiterates that makes this country great. This is America. Get a gun!

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]
[Gal is sunbathing by poolside]
Oh, yeah. Bloody hell. I'm sweating in here. Roasting. Boiling. Baking. Sweltering. It's like a sauna. Furnace. You can fry an egg on my stomach. Ohh, who wouldn't lap this up? It's ridiculous. Tremendous. Fantastic. Fan-dabby-dozy-tastic. People say, "Don't you miss it, Gal?" I say, "What, England? Nah. [censored] place. It's a dump. Don't make me laugh. Grey, grimy, sooty. What a [censored] hole. What a toilet. Every [censored] with a long face shuffling about, moaning, all worried. No thanks, not for me." They say, "What's it like, then, Spain?" And I'll say, "It's hot. Hot. Oh, it's [censored] hot. Too hot? Not for me, I love it."

Juxtaposed with:

Shut up, [censored]. You louse. You got some [censored]' neck ain't you. Retired? [censored] off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a [censored] suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like [censored] Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?
[He gut-punches Gal]
Don: What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and [censored] off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, [censored] off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're [censored] trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?

[/ QUOTE ]

Great movie. The whole intro/credits sequence is gold.