What to do with my life (need advice bad)?

[turnipmonster]

I think you should not spend your youth/early 20s doing something you hate.

you seem to have a good grasp of this already, but someone said this to me once and it was invaluable, so I'll say it to you. life is much easier if you always live below your means.

I know lots and lots and lots of people who live in nyc and make less than 50k year.

--turnipmonster

[MJL]

I won't advise on poker but I am VERY, VERY familiar with the career path you have started. Here are a couple thoughts.
1. Being an exceptional candidate is way off from being the elite who have the rewards you describe. You can have a great deal of success but most are in the 100k-400k range. This is very volatile. With the financial world changing so much in the last 10years it is not uncommon for you to be working one day and unemployed the next.
2. You will be a sales person ALL of the time!! Not just selling product or deals but you will be selling your image, capabilities, value and not least on the list is your lack of threat to others. You will always be on stage. To have the big career you see others having you will not have a job it will be a lifestyle. It will consume you and all of your world will revolve around it.
3. You stated you didn't want to be labeled a loser. Jump ship now. If you are worried about what others think and doubt your desire to proceed now you will certainly not get anywhere but burned out very quickly. You will be beat up by others and end up in the back of the house processing the deal maker’s work. This does not make you a failure or looser, just someone destined for another path. Your resume will reflect this.
Good luck

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]

I think you should not spend ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE doing something you hate.

[/ QUOTE ]


fixed.

seriously...I know some people hate their jobs and are kind of 'stuck' there for whatever reason.
But I don't see why this has to be about 'being young' to not do something you hate (as others have kind of made it).

It almost feels like I am allowed to say, "OK..I'm 35. So I guess I can do something that I really despise now."


One's youth is too short to waste it on doing something you hate.
And one's whole life is too short to do same.

[turnipmonster]

point taken.

[Zetack]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I think you should not spend ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE doing something you hate.

[/ QUOTE ]


fixed.

seriously...I know some people hate their jobs and are kind of 'stuck' there for whatever reason.
But I don't see why this has to be about 'being young' to not do something you hate (as others have kind of made it).

It almost feels like I am allowed to say, "OK..I'm 35. So I guess I can do something that I really despise now."


One's youth is too short to waste it on doing something you hate.
And one's whole life is too short to do same.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't hate my job, but I'd much rather be playing poker full time.

However, I have a wife (with a crappy paying part time job, and much lower salary potential than me if she looked for a full timer) a step daughter, and my wife is going to stop working soon so we can work (or, um, play) on having some kids.

My job covers more than we spend by a little, we have health insurance, and our financial worries are low (although not non-existent, we managed to rack up quite a bit of personal debt before we got our finances straightened out.) Our nut is relatively high. I'd like to think I could make a decent living playing poker but I don't have the track record of enough hands at high enough limits to say that with enough confidence to quit my job.

So I step up to the plate and go to a job that I'd rather not be doing (although, again, its not in the hate category) because I have a family to support that I'm not willing to put through the stress of seeing if I could make a go at poker.

Shyte happens. The trade-off is worth it.

Apples and oranges, perhaps, because I'm not talking about something I despise, but I can definitely see the point of doing something you despise if it lets you take care of your responsibilities in the world.

--Zetack

[JohnnyHumongous]

Yes... the road to the mountaintop isn't always sunny and smooth. There is a difference between doing something you hate and doing something you hate that will get you somewhere special. Life wasn't meant to be a cakewalk. If I'm on a road to somewhere great, I don't mind putting in a lot of hard work and dealing with tremendous challenges along the way.

Then there's the old-school, "putting food on the table" ethos that Zetack is talking about. There is a great deal of honor and personal satisfaction associated with that. Once when I was much younger and more into navel-gazing I told my dad how I wanted to be an artist, or something along those lines. My dad looked at me and said, "Do you think I like my job son? Wouldn't you think I would rather be a sculptor? I would love to be a sculptor, sculpting all day. But you know what? I have to put food on the table, so you and your mother can eat."

Of course, my dad didn't even attend high school, much less a Northeast liberal arts college where one can actually contemplate a variety of farfetched life paths from a place of safety and security. My dad didn't have that luxury, and I definitely feel sympathetic to his views on hard work and family values.

Hey Man,
Your post sounds way too desperate. I don't think you should continue with IB. Forget the money. It's only money. If you have no responsiblities other than yourself I say work towards your own business.
I'll give you an example:
A friend of mine graduated from UCLA Med. His father was a doctor and wanted him to be a doctor. He went through the motions and found that he hated it.
He pissed off and dissapointed everyone by quiting.
His passion had always been airlines. He took a $7/hr job at an airport just to get into the industry. Within 4 yrs he was working at their headquaters in revenue management. He is now a VP at a smaller east-coast carrier(7 years after he started.)
He obviously struggled in the beginning, but I can't tell you how much happier he is right now. In fact, he was happy even when he was getting paid $7/hr and getting yelled at by passengers. He just loved being part of the industry.
Don't know if this will help. Hope it does. Good luck to you.

I respect Johnny's dad and people like him. My father also ended up doing something other than what he would have liked to provide for his family.
However, this is a guy who is still young and may just be responsible for himself. Now would be the time to try whatever path he chooses. Later, his priorties will change and he can consider those at that time.
Life will be happier for him and his family in the long run.

[MicroBob]

Yeah..I admit to not being the most responsible guy in the world in some regards.

In college and then post-college I worked in radio. I knew I wouldn't make much money..but I was good at it and it was fun.

Kind of the same with poker, except that I can make better money at it.


However, as you point out, you don't 'despise' your job.
If you did then you know full well that you don't HAVE to stay at that job.
You can be 'responsible' and do all the things to support your family that you should be doing...AND get a different job somewhere else.


Personally, I don't really LOVE playing poker that much.
I enjoy it...but if I were to win $2-million at the WSOP or something you sure wouldn't be seeing me playing too much online OR live. Maybe some occasional big tourney events in Aruba and Bahamas...but I wouldn't be knocking myself out with it.

Poker is something I moderately enjoy doing but it's not the end-all be-all.
It's a cross between income and enjoyment that I am comfortable with.

If I had my choice, I'd rather get paid a ton to broadcast minor-league baseball games on the radio again. But that just isn't going to pay a whole lot.

If I made a ton of money at poker though I might take a radio gig or two because then I could do what I enjoy withut having to worry about the fact that it pays almost nothing.

[lehighguy]

You sound like you've done this. Any backround?

It is a lifestyle, and I don't like it. I just want to go home at the end of the day. I just want to do a job and not be acting all the time.

I'm just not one of these people. My kind of people aren't in this field.