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#71
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[ QUOTE ]
you said dumb things not and that was pretty dumb. [/ QUOTE ] in english, please |
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#72
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These 2 happened about 3-4 months apart. One is mine, another is a friend's.
11 years old and me and 2 other friends are riding our BMX bikes. Another friend used to live on a corner lot and his father cut down a tree about a year earlier because it was blocking the view of the intersection and there were quite a few accidents there. He never got around to removing the stump and it made a perfect ramp which we used to jump often. One person would stand in the intersection looking out for cars and would signal when it was clear. After every jump (we were probably jumping around 15 ft or so), you'd have to stop pretty quickly or you would ride into this one guys yard and he would throw crap at us or just chase us off. So one day I'm signalling my friend to go. He comes down the road and hits the jump. About 6-8ft. in, his right hand and handlebar hit the stopsign on the corner breaking his hand. He then hits the ground crooked and with only one hand on the bars and the wheel turns and he breaks his jaw on the handlebar this time when his face smashes into it. He then flips off of his bike rolls a few times (can you say road rash) and then hits his head on a rock which lacerates his scalp. Pretty nasty, and it seemed like it was in slow motion even to me as a spectator. Fastforward a few months. My same friend just got a new 12 speed for his b-day and we were out riding by his house. I snapped the chain on my bike and asked him to give me a ride home as I did not want to walk my bike. So I jump in the back putting my feet on the nuts/bolts of the rear wheel. We get about half way to my house before I slip off with my right leg and my back leg instantly hits the tire and the backside of my leg behind the knee just gets chewed up by the tire as I try to keep up with the moving bike by hopping on my right leg. That didn't work to well, and the friction of my leg against the tire and the frame stopped the bike before my friend really even hit the brakes. It sucked so bad! Everyday, I would end up ripping the scabs to hell walking and it would bleed and bleed. Took longer to completely heal than any of my other injuries (broken bones, torn ACL x 2, etc.). My vote would be for my friend though as it was no doubt painful as hell, but also pure comedy. |
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#73
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I'm like 13 or something. Babysitting a neighbor kid. I've got one of those kousch balls (weird thing made up of a mass of rubber bands grouped at the center) and I'm pretending to dunk it on this doorway. I don't notice that there's a nail that must have been used to hang something from in the past, and drive it backwards into my hand with authority.
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#74
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[ QUOTE ]
Mowing grass, the stupid lawn mower kept getting clogged, and it was a pain in the ass to restart, so after the 10238901239th time, I decided to just pull out the clump w/o turning off the mower. All I could feel was a sting on my middle finger, which I immediately grabbed with my other hand. Blood was runnign out from between my fingers, but I couldnt really tell if I still had all of my middle finger or not, and I was scared to look for a couple minutes. Ended up that I just sliced a little piece from my fingertip that got sewed back on, but was pretty scary clutching my hand & not being sure if I was horribly disfigured or not. jvs [/ QUOTE ] I did the EXACT same thing when I was 12. Clipped my left ring finger. There was no pain, just shock/fright. Almost fainted, running around in a pannic! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] The pain came at the hospital when they put the needle in the already throbbing finger. Took a bunch of them to hold me down. Seven stitches later, I'm on my way home, floating on cloud nine. The next few days I discovered the glorious benefit of codine. Honorable mention: Chasing girl around dept. store when I was 6. Busted my head on the corner of a display. Many stitches. Playing tag at school, age 8, busted head on brick wall corner. Many stitches. Age 9, caught 2by4 with my head while building tree house, 20 stitches. Age 10, hit head on bumper of car diving for football. Concussion. Fracture. 2 day hospital stay. Age 11, thought a long stick I found in the creek would make a good pole for vaulting. Sliced hand, 8 stitches. Age 16, running from cops on Halloween night through forrest. Staying low, dodging branches. Head first into a barbed wire fence. 30 stitches. Good times! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] |
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#75
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Most of these stories involve teenage idiocy which is easily forgivable. My story happened when I was almost 40 years old.
I was at a large party thrown by a computer distributor. Over 1000 people there including a lot of my own customers. Food and drink was free. I consumed too much of the drink. It's late, there is a band on stage and about 10 semi-hot girls show up all at once and stand together over to the side. I figure someone paid them to come but as no one is taking charge of the situation I do it myself. I bring over a bunch of my customers and start pairing them off with the girls to go dance. One of the customers objects - comes up with some lame excuse like he's married or something. I say fk it, I'll dance with her myself. So I drag her right up on the stage in front of the band and about 1000 people and we dance away (I'm white so this wasn't pretty). At the end of the song I jump off the stage. Stage is about 4 feet high and floor is cement. I was too drunk to land properly and hit and fell. I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair. My friend had to drag me out on the chair and take me home. When we got to my house there were 2 girls passing by. I convinced them I couldn't walk and the 2 of them helped me into the house while my friend drove away. At the front door I called to my girlfriend that I couldn't walk (and told the 2 helping me they better vanish at this point) Girlfriend calls out from the bedroom, "you can't walk because you're drunk!" I reply that yes I am drunk but that's not the reason. When my friend came to pick me up for work in the morning I still couldn't walk so he took me to the hospital where I found out I had one fractured ankle and one sprained one. The sprain was so bad they wanted to cast them both but I convinced them to just do the fractured one. |
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#76
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I have two, first one was last year, and I decided to show my sons some tricks on the skateboard. I took an intertube, and wrapped it around the skateboard so that I could jump over things while riding the skateboard. I decided that I could jump over a trash can on its side. I cleared the trash can, but hit a rock on the asphalt which caused me to faceplant, and break my wrist. Pretty stupid thing to teach your kids....
Second one was in 7th grade we had a hill called Cliff Drive. Biggest hill in town, and I was riding my bike down the hill after school, and decided it would look cool if I put my feet on the front forks. My foot slipped and got caught in the spokes at 35MPH+, and flipped me over the handle bars. Results were broken foot, two boken wrist, and road rash on 50% of my body, including my face. |
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#77
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[ QUOTE ]
These 2 happened about 3-4 months apart. One is mine, another is a friend's. 11 years old and me and 2 other friends are riding our BMX bikes. Another friend used to live on a corner lot and his father cut down a tree about a year earlier because it was blocking the view of the intersection and there were quite a few accidents there. He never got around to removing the stump and it made a perfect ramp which we used to jump often. One person would stand in the intersection looking out for cars and would signal when it was clear. After every jump (we were probably jumping around 15 ft or so), you'd have to stop pretty quickly or you would ride into this one guys yard and he would throw crap at us or just chase us off. So one day I'm signalling my friend to go. He comes down the road and hits the jump. About 6-8ft. in, his right hand and handlebar hit the stopsign on the corner breaking his hand. He then hits the ground crooked and with only one hand on the bars and the wheel turns and he breaks his jaw on the handlebar this time when his face smashes into it. He then flips off of his bike rolls a few times (can you say road rash) and then hits his head on a rock which lacerates his scalp. Pretty nasty, and it seemed like it was in slow motion even to me as a spectator. [/ QUOTE ] A+ [ QUOTE ] Fastforward a few months. My same friend just got a new 12 speed for his b-day and we were out riding by his house. I snapped the chain on my bike and asked him to give me a ride home as I did not want to walk my bike. So I jump in the back putting my feet on the nuts/bolts of the rear wheel. We get about half way to my house before I slip off with my right leg and my back leg instantly hits the tire and the backside of my leg behind the knee just gets chewed up by the tire as I try to keep up with the moving bike by hopping on my right leg. That didn't work to well, and the friction of my leg against the tire and the frame stopped the bike before my friend really even hit the brakes. It sucked so bad! Everyday, I would end up ripping the scabs to hell walking and it would bleed and bleed. Took longer to completely heal than any of my other injuries (broken bones, torn ACL x 2, etc.). [/ QUOTE ] D. you should have just stuck with the first story, and called it your own. |
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#78
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[ QUOTE ]
I'm like 13 or something. Babysitting a neighbor kid. I've got one of those kousch balls (weird thing made up of a mass of rubber bands grouped at the center) and I'm pretending to dunk it on this doorway. I don't notice that there's a nail that must have been used to hang something from in the past, and drive it backwards into my hand with authority. [/ QUOTE ] B-, B+ if it went all the way through. |
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#79
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[ QUOTE ]
I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair. [/ QUOTE ] I laughed at your pain! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] |
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#80
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[ QUOTE ]
I did the EXACT same thing when I was 12. Clipped my left ring finger. There was no pain, just shock/fright. Almost fainted, running around in a pannic! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] The pain came at the hospital when they put the needle in the already throbbing finger. Took a bunch of them to hold me down. Seven stitches later, I'm on my way home, floating on cloud nine. The next few days I discovered the glorious benefit of codine. [/ QUOTE ] C [ QUOTE ] Honorable mention: Chasing girl around dept. store when I was 6. Busted my head on the corner of a display. Many stitches. Playing tag at school, age 8, busted head on brick wall corner. Many stitches. Age 9, caught 2by4 with my head while building tree house, 20 stitches. Age 10, hit head on bumper of car diving for football. Concussion. Fracture. 2 day hospital stay. Age 11, thought a long stick I found in the creek would make a good pole for vaulting. Sliced hand, 8 stitches. Age 16, running from cops on Halloween night through forrest. Staying low, dodging branches. Head first into a barbed wire fence. 30 stitches. Good times! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] C-,C-,B,A-,C, F for the last one. Why are you trick-or-treating at 16? Dick. |
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