Favorite lines from Seinfeld

[Sponger15SB]

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why no puddy comments thus far?
puddy is awesome!

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"That's right."

"High five."

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-on the flip side
-takes me to arbys (thata elaine, but so what, it was funny)

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"Talk to the 8-ball"

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omg you ass! I was reading this thread and ready to post that, and you're the last damn guy. bah bah bah

[JustPlayingSmart]

"Then, shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?"

[LoaferGee12]

"Feels like an Arby's night". Puddy, obviously. Sidenote: Is puddy the voice of some character in Family Guy?

[kerssens]

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"Feels like an Arby's night". Puddy, obviously. Sidenote: Is puddy the voice of some character in Family Guy?

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Isn't he Joe the handicapped neighbor?

[touchfaith]

lol, I can't stop...I love Seinfeld quotes...


"I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum." - George

"It's like I'm Neil Armstrong. I turn around for a sip of Tang, and you jump out first!" - George

"Are you Master of your Domain?"
"I am King of the County. You?"
"Lord of the Manor."
"I'm Queen of the castle!"
- Jerry, George and Elaine

"His mother was a mudder... His father was a mudder." - Kramer

"Yeah, I'm a great quitter. It's one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter... I was raised to give up." - George

"So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it." - Jerry

"I wish there were pig-men. You get a few of those pig-men walking around, suddenly I'm looking a lot better. That way if someone wanted to fix me up they could say, 'Hey, at least he's no pig-man.'" - George

"That's pie country. They do a lot of baking up there."
"They sell them by the side of the road. Blueberry blackberry."
"Blackberry boysenberry."
"Boysenberry huckleberry."
"Huckleberry raspberry."
"Raspberry strawberry."
"Strawberry cranberry."
"Peach."
- George and Jerry

"So you feel 'women and children first' in this day and age is somewhat of an antiquated notion."
"To some degree."
"So, basically, it's every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves."
"In a manner of speaking."
"Well, that's honest."
"She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals."
"Well, perhaps when she's released from the burn center she'll see things more clearly."
- Jerry and George

"I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!" - Kramer

"Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service." - Jerry

[goofball]

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Cosmo Kramer: The bus is outta control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus.
Jerry: Wow.
George Costanza: You're Batman.
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Cosmo Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell.

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oooohhh yeah!


also

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JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.
GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident.
JERRY: Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes
everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to
grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new
bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirso lighting.
I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.
... Naw, I'm not ready for it.

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[jakethebake]

"I like to stop at the duty-free shop."

[kerssens]

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"Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service." - Jerry

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I like the scene in that episode where Jerry is giving George other names.....Mug Costanza

[fingokra]

Little kid after hearing Jerry cuss "That Jerry Seinfeld is a funny @^$@%^@?"

and

We had a date I ordered the lobster, had some wine, went back to his place for cofee, yada yada yada, I was late for work this morning.

[mlb3zr]

another one that is best if you remember what Jerry looks like when he says it:

GEORGE: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.

JERRY: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa."