Why do you stay married?

[codewarrior]

OTOH, married sex can be like a fine wine - it gets better with age. If you think you're some kind of sex god, then try turning the same woman on over a period of years. The happily married guys and gals know what I'm talking about. There is always something new, and it doesn't have to be extreme or weird. Often it is something very simple, and/or subtle that sets off fireworks.

[Dex]

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This tjread is not statistically showing a true picture if half of marriges end in divorce it would seem only the happy people are responding.

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Ok, I'll respond then. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I was married for seven years - up until the time my ex-wife decided to show her true colors.

Up until that time, many of the things that others have already said in this thread were true of our marriage as well:

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1 - wife is best friend
2 - There is NO better feeling in the world than walking in the door and getting a smile from my daughter followed by a smile/hug/kiss from my wife
3 - I made a promise and I intend to keep it


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This Father's Day my wife and kids made me a card.


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good sex


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I kept my promise and my end of the bargain. I was a good husband throughout our entire marriage and was (and still am) a good father. I trusted her. Aren't spouses supposed to be able to trust each other?

Conveniently enough, it was just after the time that we found out that I was going to be let go from my previous job that all this came to light. Apparently, she didn't really love me; she only loved the paycheck that I provided. This became clear when:

1. She decided to admit what she had done and to announce that she wanted to get a divorce at the same time that the income stream that I provided her was threatened.
2. She immediately moved in with her new boyfriend (at the time, a friend of a friend) so she could begin using HIS income to pay her bills. (From what I understand, she approached him, not the other way around.)

How whore-like.

I look back on our seven years together not with fondness, but with disgust.

I have no desire whatsoever to ever get married again.

[zoomOut]

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I kept my promise and my end of the bargain. I was a good husband throughout our entire marriage....
I look back on our seven years together not with fondness, but with disgust.



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wow that sucks. I believe you.

The majority of husbands that I know are really decent guys that love their families very much. I don't blame you for being disgusted.

[daveymck]

A lot of people stay in the marrige longer than they should for many different reasons but security is a big one.

I am with someone elses wife (and have been for 8 years) and having been through the whole seperation and divorce and all the things behind it as she worked through her issues but security and kids were a lot of her basis for staying so long and I dont think that attitude is that uncommon.

But I am surprised at the rosy picture painted in the thread it doesnt to me reflect the reality of long term relationships in that they are [censored] hard, they require a lot of hard work the highs and the lows the arguments, the anger at times, the issues that you constantly dont see eye to eye on etc etc. Yes I love her yes I will be with her I am sure for the rest of my life and we have a lot of good happy times but I think the cosby show presentation in the rest of the thread perhaps isnt 100% of the picture.

All the best friend etc stuff rings true to me especially with my life on the road she is the anchor along with my daughter that keeps me going, but we hve problems and issues and habits that drive each other up the wall its commitement and love that ensures that these dont destroy the relationship.

I am still surprised how nice this thread has been.

[ThisHo]

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I am with someone elses wife (and have been for 8 years)

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If you were with her prior to her leaving then this sucks. If you were in any way responsible for her leaving then it really sucks. Think about how you'd feel if someone stole her from you?


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But I am surprised at the rosy picture painted in the thread it doesnt to me reflect the reality of long term relationships in that they are [censored] hard, they require a lot of hard work the highs and the lows the arguments, the anger at times, the issues that you constantly dont see eye to eye on etc etc. Yes I love her yes I will be with her I am sure for the rest of my life and we have a lot of good happy times but I think the cosby show presentation in the rest of the thread perhaps isnt 100% of the picture.

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All true. Marriage is HARD work sometimes. My wife and I argue about stuff, don't always see eye to eye, have very different viewpoints on lots of stuff. It is hard damn work!
The OP asked why people stay married. I don't stay married because its hard work, I put in the hard work to stay married because the rewards previously listed make the effort worthwhile.

ThisHo

[scalf]

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] my second ; and current; wife is absolutely a fantastic person; and the mother of our children..

you oughtta try it..

gl

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

[MrX]

why do I stay married...for the same reasons I married her over 7 years ago.

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
OTOH, married sex can be like a fine wine - it gets better with age. If you think you're some kind of sex god, then try turning the same woman on over a period of years. The happily married guys and gals know what I'm talking about. There is always something new, and it doesn't have to be extreme or weird. Often it is something very simple, and/or subtle that sets off fireworks.

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It's almost impossible to tell from your posts that your wife reads and posts here. Whippish! Whippish!

[daveymck]

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I am with someone elses wife (and have been for 8 years)

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If you were with her prior to her leaving then this sucks. If you were in any way responsible for her leaving then it really sucks. Think about how you'd feel if someone stole her from you?


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I was and it was a catalyst for her finally leaving although they were meant to split after christmas anyway it more gave her the confidance to push him to move out like he had agreed. There was no stealing going on

Whilst I agree the timing wasnt ideal but I have no regrets taking her from mentally abusive relationship from a husband who would come home stinking drunk when he was meant to be watching the kids and where he was already sleeping around as he was in a sexless marrige.

Most people hated him and in fact one of her mothers friends offered to shoot him when they did split up such was the love people had for him and what he had done to her over the years and has even continued over the years since being a huge thorn in our sides but he has remarried now.

I realise it looks bad to some but when we met to when we started really going out took some time before anything really happened and it was after a lot of talking etc etc

[codewarrior]

I didn't imply that she was that good. I implied that I am.

I shouldn't imply - it is the truth.

doughnut puncher [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]