What do you say to Hellmuth?

[USGrant]

"Shut up, you annoying tool"

[droolie]

"Are you going to start crying again when you bust out this year?"

[NYCNative]

I'd point to his ultimatebet.net hat and smile and say, "Oh, so you're an internet qualifier too?"

[autobet]

or, "UB staked you, how nice?"

[M2d]

If I win this thing, can I shave your head?

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
You're playing in the ME at a table with Hellmuth. He criticizes your play and calls you a donkey. What do you do/say?

[/ QUOTE ]

Some of my thoughts:

"Are you Phil Hellmuth?" After his affirmative answer: "Wait, you PLAY poker? I thought you just sold cheap poker crap with your face plastered all over it."

If he's been being particularly bad and it's on tv, "Nice example you're setting for your kids" is a good one.

Just off the top of my head. Love some of these answers so far.

[chaas4747]

Say nothing.
Pull out my Hellmuth card protector and smile.

[tripp0807]

[ QUOTE ]
You're playing in the ME at a table with Hellmuth. He criticizes your play and calls you a donkey. What do you do/say?

[/ QUOTE ]

Jeez, Mr. Hellmuth, thanks - that puts me in good company. You said the same thing to Annie Duke when she took that $2 million from you with her bad play. Does this mean you think I'll win?

[meow_meow]

If you really want to get under his skin, without being offensive etc..., I think you need to play against his ego.

something like:
"if you're so good, why don't you have any bracelets?" (as long as he's not wearing any).
or "just like every other internet qualifier - thinks he's some kind of pro"
or "you think you're Johnny Chan or something?"

Honestly, I imagine there is nothing that would put him on tilt faster than not being recognized at the table.

[CrazyEyez]

[ QUOTE ]
If you really want to get under his skin, without being offensive etc..., I think you need to play against his ego.

something like:
"if you're so good, why don't you have any bracelets?" (as long as he's not wearing any).
or "just like every other internet qualifier - thinks he's some kind of pro"
or "you think you're Johnny Chan or something?"

Honestly, I imagine there is nothing that would put him on tilt faster than not being recognized at the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed. Or mistake him for a different pro.

you: I got your chips right here Paul, come and get 'em.
Phil: Who's Paul?
you: Aren't you Paul Phillips?
Phil: Phil Helmuth.
you: No way! That guy that whines whenever he loses a hand?