Having kids when you aren't wealthy.... - Page 7

#61 08-19-2005, 05:01 AM

I want to beat the hell out of my Dad so badly.

fnord_too · #62 08-19-2005, 09:04 AM

I bascially agree with you but I think you may be setting the bar a bit high. I think it is sufficient to have a decent income, good long term income prospects (such as good employability or a viable long term revenue stream), and good financial sense.

True story: When I was 5 or 6 I decided I wasn't getting married until I was 35, 30 if I had become well off by then, for basically the reasons you describe. I didn't get married until I was 31.

Waiting is a bit of a double edged sword. On the one hand you are more mature, better off financially (usually), and a lot wiser. On the other hand you are going to have less time with your children because you are that much closer to death (though one could argue that you can spend more quality time with them, and are less likely to screw things up). Also, there is something to be said by for having all your children independant (relatively) by the time you are 50 or so.

Clearly, thinking about this stuff before making life changing decisions is a good idea that a lot of people never have.

vulturesrow · #63 08-19-2005, 09:07 AM

I totally agree its not about material possessions. And I agree you need money, I dont agree that you need to be wealthy. As has been pointed out, your desires become secondary once you have a kid, no matter how much money you have. Please dont misinterpret that to mean you should kowtwo to your kid's every whim. But you need always put them ahead of you. Thats part of being a parent and those that cant/wont accept that definitely dont need to be having children.

Paluka · #64 08-19-2005, 09:14 AM

My wife is pregnant, and I really have no intention of my own life ending and it becoming all about my kid. I'm lucky enough to be starting off with a decent amount of money, though.

WDC · #65 08-19-2005, 09:41 AM

It's all about choices. I choose to have kids. I also choose to take job for about 1/2 or possibly even 1/3 of what I could be making if I were willing to put in 60-70 hours a week. I work 40. I go home every night. I coach soccer baseball and basketball. I have a good life. It's comfortable but I am not rich. I wouldn't trade it for money.

WDC · #66 08-19-2005, 09:47 AM

Sorry that your married friends can't gop out drinking with you anymore. It's possible that they have evolved into adults. It's not a bad thing.

BTW my wife and I always take a week to ourselves every year and also a week alone every once in a while.

WDC · #67 08-19-2005, 09:52 AM

I would hate to think of a world where only the rich were allowed to reproduce. More George Bushs and Paris Hiltons is not what this world needs.

KaneKungFu123 · #68 08-19-2005, 09:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Sorry that your married friends can't gop out drinking with you anymore. It's possible that they have evolved into adults. It's not a bad thing.

BTW my wife and I always take a week to ourselves every year and also a week alone every once in a while.

[/ QUOTE ]

why are you being a dick to him, while also agreeing w/ him?

BusterStacks · #69 08-19-2005, 10:32 AM

my rule of thumb was this:

if you can't take your kids to disneyland without worry, don't have them.

I still stand by it. Even if it's not disneyland, this measure of wealth should ensure that your children never have to go without the things that are very important to young children: fitting in with their friends.

banditbdl · #70 08-19-2005, 10:46 AM

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One thing I never agreed with was the idea of saving up money to hand to your kids for college. That's silly. If they know they have to pay off loans, they will not screw around in college.

[/ QUOTE ]

Keep in mind that if your kid wants to go to private school the loans will be large enough that no one will give the loans to your kid alone. You'll be expected to co-sign as a parent and need enough net worth via your mortgage, savings, etc. to back it up even if you're not actually paying for the kids schooling.