how pissed off should i be? - Page 6

Aloysius · #51 10-24-2005, 06:44 PM

OK - that's fair. Not specific to OP then - but general idea of what OP seemed to intimate (and later correct) during his original post.

There is an idea out there prevalent among guys that somehow, women (even girlfriends and wives) somehow engender / foment sexual situations with other guys. And that sometimes, sexual assault (such as the case of the OP's lady) could have been prevented IF the woman had acted in a more "proper" or even "smarter" fashion.

That's the mindset that has forced U.S. courts to engage in super-strict, over-the-top rape / sexual assault laws.

It's an incredibly dangerous mindset - really obscures the main point - dudes should just get some self control.

There are obvious examples to the contrary (where a woman may truly be putting herself in a stupidly dangerous situation), but those are very few when comopared to the increidbly high number of instances where a woman does nothing, and gets assaulted.

Ulysses · #52 10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

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I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

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I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

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Maybe utmt is black and talking about white guys?

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You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

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Actually, I assumed that these were white guys after reading the initial message, for obvious reasons. I also assumed that the blank in your message was "black" given the context in which you wrote it. So, please, shove it w/ your BS rationalization, you piece of ____.

B Dids · #53 10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

There's really no need for racist trolls to stick around is there?

Can this idiot go bye-bye already?

Aloysius · #54 10-24-2005, 06:51 PM

Sorry got up on my high horse there, [censored]. Yeah a quick reading of OP's post, wouldn't necessarily be able to tell.

And not trying to come off as some crazy defender of women's rights etc.

It's just that, as a newly single guy, when going out to bars with my male friends, carousing, and whatnot, it's surprising to me how ingrained this mindset and dynamic (predator vs. prey) is.

I'm not the greatest guy by any stretch, but I still think it's messed up to blame the chick, for any reason, for sexual assault scenarios.

Ulysses · #55 10-24-2005, 06:51 PM

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even if i think there's a chance she could/should have taken more prevenative measures, i am certainly way more pissed off at the assholes than her. i'm doing my best to comfort her and convince her that it's not her fault.

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Wow, I thought rory was off base w/ his responses in this thread, but now that you clarify that you are pissed off "way more" at the guys than you are pissed off at her, I realize rory is right.

I sure hope this chick sees the light and dumps your sorry ass.

bernie · #56 10-24-2005, 06:57 PM

Even though I agree with most of your post..

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I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

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Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

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mslif · #57 10-24-2005, 07:03 PM

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Even though I agree with most of your post..

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I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

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Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

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Don't be so sure. I was at a club for my birthday in April. A guy grabbed my arm to go dancing, I said no, I got punched in the face. Nobody did anything because it was dark and nearly 90% of the people in the club were drunk. I reported it to the bouncers who tried to find the guy but there were too many people and they could not find him. I have not been back in a club since that happened.

RunDownHouse · #58 10-24-2005, 07:04 PM

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anyway, what will happen if you call the cops will be this: you will call up, say my girlfriend was assaulted blah blah this is the guys number. the cops may or may not do anything about it. but if it even goes to trial, the guys will go, "no we didn't, i gave her my number and she called me. she is crazy." and she will go "no you guys did all that stuff" and their lawyer will go, "ok prove it" and then the guys will go home. its terrible that it happened to your girl but nothing is going to happen if she tries to do anything about it. respect that she wants to put the terrible experience behind her and move on.

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Unfortunately this is what is most likely to happen...unless one of them has a previous history.

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Even if currently they have no previous history, they never will if no one ever files a complaint. She should definitely file a report.

bernie · #59 10-24-2005, 07:11 PM

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Even though I agree with most of your post..

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I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

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Don't be so sure. I was at a club for my birthday in April. A guy grabbed my arm to go dancing, I said no, I got punched in the face. Nobody did anything because it was dark and nearly 90% of the people in the club were drunk. I reported it to the bouncers who tried to find the guy but there were too many people and they could not find him. I have not been back in a club since that happened.

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Note that I said the odds were in your favor. Not that it was gauranteed. Hey, even 2 outers hit on the river when there's only 4 bets in the pot on the turn.

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diebitter · #60 10-24-2005, 07:23 PM

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Even though I agree with most of your post..

[ QUOTE ]
I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

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Don't be so sure. I was at a club for my birthday in April. A guy grabbed my arm to go dancing, I said no, I got punched in the face. Nobody did anything because it was dark and nearly 90% of the people in the club were drunk. I reported it to the bouncers who tried to find the guy but there were too many people and they could not find him. I have not been back in a club since that happened.

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That really sucks. It's really depressing this sort of thing and the poor girl with the two guys happens, and no-one does anything. I've seen asses pinched and not be wanted, but nothing worse (excluding fights between guys and fights between girls).

I know bouncers don't care, but don't people help each other?

Am I just being naive about it?