So I'm going to propose to my girlfriend !!!

[gorie]

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1. I'm 100% pro marriage (for all who want it but thats a different thread)
2. Right after college isn't neccessarily too early to be married, but it is a time of great change.
3. Consider all your options: Start a career, live together for a awhile, travel europe together, whatever.
4. When the time is right, you'll know it but I'd be patient. I say this as someone who got married at 29 and is very glad to have waited, when I look back and imagine marriage at ~21 I cringe. Your time may be right now but it could be just as right (or better) in 6 months or 6 years.
5. I have no idea why this is a numbered list, it just seemed right at the time.

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this is one of my favorite posts ever.

[cbfair]

Oh, about the ring...

We got engaged in an uncommon way, I surprised both of us by suggesting it when it came up in conversation. Thats how we got engaged. I had already been looking at some rings and had my eye on one in the 7k range. When I sent my new fiance to the store to check it out, she simply schat. There was no way she would let me buy that ring even though it was less than 2 months salary (the old rule).

We went shopping together and both agreed on a beautiful ring for around 2500. This was returned within 45 days as we found one we actually like better for about the same price. We just had our 2 year anniversary and we've been actively shopping for a new ring for the last year or so. In time, we'll significantly upgrade both of our rings, but there's no real hurry.

This is all by way of saying that its best to be flexible. There is no gaurantee that whatever ring you put on her finger at the time of engagement or during the ceremony will continue to be her ring forever. People change, and so do tastes. BTW- the plan is to turn her current ring's sidestone settings into earings when we upgrade, that way she'll still have part of her original wedding set.

For the people, who suggest 10K+ - in one of my many conversations with jewelers, I was told that fewer than 1% of American women have at least a 1 carat stone. I'd venture to guess that the vast minority of that group are recent college graduates.

[HopeydaFish]

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"This rose is for you, it completes the dozen, like you complete me, it will last forever just like my love for you"


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I just threw up a little in my mouth.

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instead of your nose?

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Had I been laughing at the time, the puke may have come out my nose. I wasn't, so it remained in my mouth.

[KKbluff]

MrsNolanFan,
You are an amazing help and have great insight.
You couldn't be more right about this being the most stressful time of my life (so far)
Anyways...
Right now me and my girlfriend ARE focusing on our careers, but I can tell she is worried that because of our future job locations etc... that things might get very difficult.
We are trying to get jobs in the same city as of now, but some of the job offers (the better ones) I have would require me to train for managment in locations hours (if not a day or two) away from her...
Not to mention my job location (or hers for that matter) AFTER training..

Any advice??

[MrsNolanFan]

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MrsNolanFan,
You are an amazing help and have great insight.
You couldn't be more right about this being the most stressful time of my life (so far)
Anyways...
Right now me and my girlfriend ARE focusing on our careers, but I can tell she is worried that because of our future job locations etc... that things might get very difficult.
We are trying to get jobs in the same city as of now, but some of the job offers (the better ones) I have would require me to train for managment in locations hours (if not a day or two) away from her...
Not to mention my job location (or hers for that matter) AFTER training..

Any advice??

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<font color="purple"> Hmmm... this makes me even more apt to say wait on the engagement until things settle down. But, not to worry about a little distance. Scott and I dated in college and he graduated 1 semester before me then moved about 2 hours away to take a job. When I graduated I could have moved to the same city he was in and looked for work there, but I knew he was on a contract that would end one year later and I didn't really like the city he happened to be living in. So I decided to move to a different city that put me about 2 1/2 hours away from him. We maintained a long distance relationship for almost 1 1/2 years (including the time I was still in college) and I honestly think this was GREAT for our relationship. It was tough to be away from each other, but it gave each of us the opportunity to focus on starting our careers, learn to be good communicators since our primary contact was via the phone, plus when we did see each other about every other weekend it was really special and we made a point of doing fun activities rather than just "hanging out" or doing typical day to day stuff. Then Scott moved up to the city I was in and we lived together for 6 months before he proposed.
My point is not that everyone should have a long distance relationship, but that if you do end up in a situation where you and your significant other are away from one another for long periods of time it can actually have a positive effect on your lives and your relationship. Don't be afraid of it. Make the most of your career opportunities right now because the job market is still pretty tough. That's my two cents!
Good luck!</font>