A bad situation

[Stuey]

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Who are you trying to impress?

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Sorry

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Have you ever spent a significant amount of time in a hospital?

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Nope

I didn't say I was right. I don't know the right way to deal with the situation. But it makes me mad. So I prevent the guy from hurting other people. He hurts me sure but it is easier to suffer than to watch those you care for suffer imo.

Again sorry, reread my post and it does sound like chest thumping and that was not my intention. But this topic gets my blood up.

[bernie]

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Who are you trying to impress?

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Sorry

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Have you ever spent a significant amount of time in a hospital?

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Nope

I didn't say I was right. I don't know the right way to deal with the situation. But it makes me mad. So I prevent the guy from hurting other people. He hurts me sure but it is easier to suffer than to watch those you care for suffer imo.

Again sorry, reread my post and it does sound like chest thumping and that was not my intention. But this topic gets my blood up.

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It is a frustrating topic. Primarily because there's nothing anyone can really do until the person decides they really want help. Think of how you'd do in a womans shelter watching woman after woman go back to the guy. I feel like doing that to the guys who do this also, but no way.

b

[Jakesta]

I already told you what you can do. Shoot him and make it look like self-defense.

[TimM]

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ps I sleep with my doors unlocked, people think this is crazy. Doors can’t stop the really bad sobs. So why lock up?

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Would you rather be woken up by the sound of someone breaking into your house, or when they attack you in your sleep.

[Stuey]

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ps I sleep with my doors unlocked, people think this is crazy. Doors can’t stop the really bad sobs. So why lock up?

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Would you rather be woken up by the sound of someone breaking into your house, or when they attack you in your sleep.

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I gota stop posting here it is to easy for you smart people to make me look dumb. I don't lock the door and yah I guess he/she could get me in my sleep. I started doing this as it was really hot one summer night and I slept with the doors open, my screen doors don't lock.

Everyone always says they want to die in their sleep anyway. And think about it, why do we blame ourselves when others do bad things to us? It is the freak that is wanting to kill people in their sleep that is in the wrong.

I live with the belief that if something bad is going to happen to me there is not much I can do to prevent it. Hell where I live in winter it can be 40 below zero. Maybe it is ok if someone comes in.

Last year a child died as they wandered outside of their house and the door shut behind them locking them out. With some luck they might try my door.

I'm not saying you are but I wish people in general would stop getting mad at me because they think I am stupid. I did not tell you to unlock your doors. I just said I don't lock mine and I sleep well. And I'm not hot in summer. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

ps I lock them if I have company as I am sure they would not agree with my reasoning. And I respect that and want them to feel safe even if they are not.

[TimM]

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I live with the belief that if something bad is going to happen to me there is not much I can do to prevent it.

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This can be used to justify all sorts of careless behavior. Of course there are thing you can do to reduce the chances of bad things happening to you. To suggest otherwise is ridiculous.

[Stuey]

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I live with the belief that if something bad is going to happen to me there is not much I can do to prevent it.

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This can be used to justify all sorts of careless behavior. Of course there are thing you can do to reduce the chances of bad things happening to you. To suggest otherwise is ridiculous.

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I just wanted to say I see why I am wrong now. [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

I happened to currently be reading Inside the Poker Mind by John Feeney, Ph.D. And I read the chapter Risk(of Death)-Reward Ratios.

I finally get it. If there is only a very small chance something could happen and your sample size is large enough it will happen. And if you can lower your risk easily, without disrupting your life, it is very stupid not to do it.

Locked myself in my house last night. I didn't like it but I can get used to it. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Thanks for taking the time to try and pound something so simple into my thick skull everyone.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

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you're all dumb.

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I have to agree with Gorie here.

Moreover,
a) violence is not a solution to this problem

b) people in abusive relationships (I say "people" because men are abused too) who stay in those relationships actually have some compelling reasons for doing so:

1. Statistically, abusers are way MORE abusive during and just after a break-up. This is how many women die at the hands of their husbands or boyfriends - because they say they're leaving and the guy can't take it and so he kills her.

2. There is something called a cycle of abuse. Once the abuser is done hitting, he usually gets all guilty and extra lovey-dovey. He acts like the best boyfriend in the world during this stage. Obviously, this would be somewhat appealing but mostly, this would be the most difficult time for a person to leave the relationship since the abuser is being so super-kind and is sincerely sorry for his abuse.


[caveat - I would NEVER suggest that someone stay. I'm just saying that people who stay are not necessarily irrational people, that people who've been abused are the victims and are NOT responsible for the abuse.]

[bernie]

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I'm just saying that people who stay are not necessarily irrational people, that people who've been abused are the victims and are NOT responsible for the abuse.

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So if a victim goes back to the abuser for the 9th time, and it happens again, there's no accountability attributed to the victim for putting themselves back into that situation? They have absolutely no role in it?

I don't agree.

That isn't saying it isn't a screwed situation, or that the victim 'deserves' it any time it happens.

b

[cnfuzzd]

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i only have two or so really close friends who are also chicks. However, if they got beat up by their boyfriend, that dude would be dead. Or really damn close. He would definitly never, ever want to be around them again.

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So you'd risk going to jail for your entire life over this?

Sounds like a horrible idea.

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I am a master of horrible ideas...

this still sounds like the option i would end up taking.

Similairly, if anyone ever raped my gf/molested my child or killed my best friend, that person would soon after find themselves in a very bad situation. Im not one of those people who uses violence to solve problems, but there are just some things which i find intolerable, and in my eyes are worthy of retribution. Usually painfull retribution.

Fwiw, i think i could beat the case, or at least get it reduced somewhat, but i would mostly be apathetic about this.

peace

john nickle