Scary Bar Situation

Either way, I'm still running like a bitch.

[mostsmooth]

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butterfly knife and loads it up

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How big a knife are we talking here?

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I'm thinking he just meant to scare OP since he actually brandished the knife. If he really meant to stab OP, he probably would have got into a fight and then pull the knife where OP can't see it. It's still a good idea to back off when you have a knife pulled on you unless you're carrying.

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thats not very big, the blade is smaller than my thumb.
also, that knife doesnt look anything like a butterfly.

[BCPVP]

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thats not very big, the blade is smaller than my thumb.

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That's probably not life-size, but it's not that much longer. It's a concealed weapon. It's not supposed to be a claymore you strap to your back.

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also, that knife doesnt look anything like a butterfly.

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I believe it's named that for the way it looks when you're twirling it open and shut. There's videos all over if you look hard enough

[EliteNinja]

Best thing to do is bail in that situation.
You're alone. He may have backup on top of having a knife.
You have no buddies to back you up.

First thing you learn in ninja school is that an unarmed expert at martial arts is still at a 2-to-1 disadvantage to a random dude with a knife.

But if you're trapped, go for the ol' broken beer bottle trick. Or do a flying roundhouse kick to his head.

[Ulysses]

beetz: The "take shirt off" move in that spot is pretty money indeed.

Parliament: Did you happen to have a machete or bowie knife or similar weapon on you at the time? If so, you should have said "That's not a knife! <pull out yours> THAT'S a knife!"

[bad beetz]

1. Reach a hand up to one ear and look down and to the side. Say, "abort! Abort!" Then look confused. Say, "No, no... Wait! No, Thursday..... Pause.... wait... OK, chicken.. Well no wait. operation gopher meatball? No, ok, Thursday." (put your hand up as in "please hold on") continue your insanity on your mike until something interesting happens or it dissipates.

2. When he pulls his butterfly knife out, you make with the pantomime butterfly knife. Then pantomime every action he makes until you get stabbed, and then pantomime stabbing him too, which won’t actually hurt him, since you have a fictitious knife.

3. Grab an onlooker on either side and smash their heads together knocking both unconscious, then regain eye contact with short knife wielding dude…. See what happens. If nothing happens, go to plan 1.

4. Poo and fling it at him. If you score a hit, you should run because he will stab you. You could also drop trow and just start pooing. This will make it too weird to stab you.

5. Run up and grab his hand and force the knife into some non-lethal part of your body. This will freak him out… Say, “finish me….. …. …. FINISH ME!!!!!!!!” And he will run away. This will actually work I feel sure of it!

6. He started speaking some other language? You start speaking another language. Booyah! what’s up now, little philipino dude? You gonna stab a dude that speaks Japanese? HAHAHHAHAHA, oh [censored], yes you are.

7. Make out with a nearby dude. This will make him confused about the fact that you were making out with his girl. Tell him you thought his girl was a dude. Reach for his girls crotch to verify.

8. Pantomime “stuck behind an invisible wall”

9. Say, I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry. Then breakdance. If you can do the moonwalk, then do it. Because it’s like backing up, but better because no one REALIZES you’re backing up.

Ahahhahaha - My stomach actually hurts but that could be from the food poisoning too. Wow - the first 1 reminds me of an episode of hey arnold I saw a long time ago.

You owe me a new monitor. I woke my wife and kids up with my laughing!

[man]

beetz, that was amazing. there should be a rewards system for awesome posts like this.

This brought images to mind of the self-beating-up in Fight Club. Nice post.