What to do with my life (need advice bad)?

[wopples]

WITH NO MONEY NO ONE IS HAPPY. AND I MEAN 0. CAUSE THEN YOUR A BUMB. IT IS A CRUEL WORLD. IT YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO SATISFY YOUR NEEDS AMD WANTS. BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS NORMAL TO WANT TO HAVE FREEDOM IN YOUR CHOICES. LETS FACE IT ON EARTH.... THE MORE MONEY YOU HAVE THE MORE FREE YOU ARE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT ASSUMING YOUR NOT IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING IT. THIS PROCESS IS CALLED WORK. IN LIFE EITHER MONEY WORKS FOR YOU OR YOU WORK FOR MONEY. SO ONCE YOU HAVE MANAGE IT TO WORK FOR YOU. A RICH IDIOT HAS MORE OPPURTUNITY IN THIS COUNTRY THAN A REALLY INTELLIGENT PERSON WITH AVERAGE INCOME. IF YOU HAVE 10 MILLION IN THE BANK EVERYONE IN THE BANK GETS UP AND GOES TO WORK TO EARN YOUR INTEREST ON THE MONEY. THE WHOLE SYSTEM WORKS FOR YOU. SO LIKE I SAID IN LIFE YOU CAN WORK FOR MONEY OR IT CAN WORK FOR YOU.

[Nietzsche]

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I love games. A conservative estimate of how much warcraft i played would be 4 hours a day everyday for 3 years.

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You still do this? Then this is your problem because the energy you put into this is taken away from real life.

You sound like a man with talents and dreams (though they are vague at the moment). Throw that crap out the window and develop more interest in life again then all your decisions will be easier.

[DpR]

Leghigh

I feel the need to post here since most of the advice you are getting seems to be to of course go pro. I think that is a bad idea and it is not close.

First let me say that you are not alone. Many of your co-workers feel exactly the same, it is pretty much par for the course for analyst level positions in IBs. Both my wife and I have been through what you are going through (we are 30 now) and it is long forgotten. After you 'pay your dues' so to speak there are many alternative opportunities that will open up to you. You do not necessarily have to stay there forever. That same million dollars a year will be available in other opportunities with far less work hours and stress. Think nice lunches, smoozing in Hawaii etc. The only thing is, you have to have paid your dues to ever get these opportunities. My wife and I go on a vacation EVERY MONTH and retirement at 35 is certainly a possibility if desired. These things are possible for smart people with a good work ethic. If you quit now, forget about it. Poker will never provide such an opportunity. Even if you made $2M playing poker, you could not live off that for the rest of your life.

Even looking at your goal to start you own business it is better to stay where you are for a while. You will meet a lot of people and develop your rolodex such that starting your business will be a lot easier.

This is a crossroad in your life and IMO it would be a horrible mistake to give up your opportunity to be a poker pro (which is so overglorified on these boards). You have an opportunity in business that most people never get, it would be a shame to let it go.

All that said, your health concerns need to be taken care of. You need to get sleep and reduce stress. It is worth seeing a doctor to address these issues. You have to find a way to deal with these problems. If things get realy bad (perhaps they already are), perhaps you taek medical leave from work for a coupel weeks to rejuvinate. Talk to a doc, talk to HR at your company. There may be more flexibility than you imagine. Your health is #1. Try to get that is check while keeping your opportunities open. If you determine that is impossible, then consider other options.

[Danenania]

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I love games. A conservative estimate of how much warcraft i played would be 4 hours a day everyday for 3 years.

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You still do this? Then this is your problem because the energy you put into this is taken away from real life.

You sound like a man with talents and dreams (though they are vague at the moment). Throw that crap out the window and develop more interest in life again then all your decisions will be easier.

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Screw that. It sounds like games are one of the few things he's found that he undeniably enjoys and you want him to quit?

[einbert]

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I love games. A conservative estimate of how much warcraft i played would be 4 hours a day everyday for 3 years.

[/ QUOTE ]
You still do this? Then this is your problem because the energy you put into this is taken away from real life.

You sound like a man with talents and dreams (though they are vague at the moment). Throw that crap out the window and develop more interest in life again then all your decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Screw that. It sounds like games are one of the few things he's found that he undeniably enjoys and you want him to quit?

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Yeah seriously. Let him have his games. So what if they take time away from "real life"? What is real life worth if there's nothing you enjoy, nothing you look forward to? As long as it doesn't take over the rest of your life, play the video games. Spend your time doing what you want to do, not what society or anyone else thinks you should be doing. As long as you're not welching off the rest of society you should feel free to play your games.

[Nietzsche]

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[ QUOTE ]
I love games. A conservative estimate of how much warcraft i played would be 4 hours a day everyday for 3 years.

[/ QUOTE ]
You still do this? Then this is your problem because the energy you put into this is taken away from real life.

You sound like a man with talents and dreams (though they are vague at the moment). Throw that crap out the window and develop more interest in life again then all your decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Screw that. It sounds like games are one of the few things he's found that he undeniably enjoys and you want him to quit?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah seriously. Let him have his games. So what if they take time away from "real life"? What is real life worth if there's nothing you enjoy, nothing you look forward to? As long as it doesn't take over the rest of your life, play the video games. Spend your time doing what you want to do, not what society or anyone else thinks you should be doing. As long as you're not welching off the rest of society you should feel free to play your games.

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If he keeps it at a healthy level there is nothing wrong with it. But 4 hours each day - that sounds like an escape to me, and I would think that would suck out a bunch of energy that could be put into more "life affirming" activities that have future benefits. It is when you are drained and exhausted that things become dull. I can sometimes feel like that when I have put an excessive amount of hours into poker for several days in a row.

Just a thought though. This may be completely off.

[JohnnyHumongous]

Stick it out 1 calendar year then jump, and be glad that you'll leave with a whole lot more experience and wisdom than you would have had otherwise. You'll also appreciate wherever you end up all the more.

[DcifrThs]

Very good post.

Im about to enter the world you hate. I'll be working for a bank next year doing mortgage trading / research or structuring/origination of commercial MBS. but this is my choice. i love analysis and i can't wait to get started.

you, on the other hand, were almost forced into this world. things that say you should quit right now:

1) its taking your SOUL. jesus, ive heard some complaints about banks but damn, thats gotta be the worst one + insomnia is horrible.

2) well, nothing could come close to 1 so lets just say 1 is about 5 reasons.

but if you quit, you're giving up your ability to come back. thats true. unless you quit to start your own firm which it sounds like you're not.

cons:

1) ability to come back

2) $$, security, predictable income, benefits.

so it looks like you're in a pikle...but is there ANYTHING about the job that you like?

do you like trading?

selling?

client relations?

if so, moving from a big name NYC bank, to boutique (sp?) banks shouldn't be nearly as hard as moving TO the big name banks. you need to talk to people in the industry outside your firm. but to make this move you definately have to have a passion for something in the line of work.

you can move desks (im assuming you're selling equities since thats usually the "front office" as you said). equity sales can get old REAL fast as ive been told. it may be better to try to get to another desk. forex, derivatives, munis, MBS (shameless plug) are all interesting. in the latter field, there are a lot of young minds...and of those middle aged minds out there, a large portion of them were there at inception and have a lot to impart (in the field, not necessarily your shop)

OTHER ideas: if you really just HATE S&T in general then you need to get away from it. do you like selling at all? do you see where im going with this?

new job, new career, new industry, change of scenery---> get you to a job you love or at least like. take the aspects of the job you like. see to what industries you can apply those aspects. seek people to talk to in that industry. repeat till you find a place youd feel comfortable going if you quit your S&T job.

the above is about your JOB. now you need to think about your HEALTH.

sleep is crucial. do you run? excersize? eat well? you NEED to do these things b/c they will reduce blood pressure and help you sleep and help you have energy during the day. its a must.



good luck, PM if you want.

Barron

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I've worked hard all my life. I worked very hard in school. I worked and went to school in high school. When I did my first internship I worked so hard I had to go to the doctor because I was coughing up blood, he said it was from overwork. Made me take time off. I don't think laziness is the factor here.

As I said, I've ALWAYS made the responsible decision. I always studied instead of partied, I was always polite instead of rude, I always did my fair share when I didn't have to. I'm just not sure what that has gotten me.

I never had any interest in this field. I never even applied for my first internship, my Aunt just called me one day and told me to go for an interview. I turned down having them pay part of my college if I went to work for them.

I can't look for another job while working there. If they call for a reference, I'll be fired the next day. It isn't worth thier time to train me if I'm gonna be out the door the next day. So if I'm gonna do anything else, I'm gonna have to quit. As for similair jobs, I just hate finance in general.

The other thing is, I don't like the people who work in finance. They are all very shallow. We have none of the same hobbies. I find it hard to be friends with them.

The other job I considered when I was young was politics. I worked for an NYC councilmen and on a congressional campaign. But working in politics is different from talking about politics or policy. Its mostly dirty and scummy. Driving around trying to "expose" the other guy. All sorts of other stuff. Unless your actually setting policy your mostly just trashing the other guy or churning out propoganda for a living.

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if you like politics, that doesn't mean you have to work in politics. Why not work in public policy, a think tank, journalism, etc. You don't have to be right in the field of politics of course.

[Danenania]

A think tank sounds like a cool place to work. Would the building be shaped like a giant brain?