favourite movie rants

Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball. Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. There's no CRYING IN BASEBALL. NO CRYING!

[modaddy]

I think you're all [censored] in the head! We're 10 hours from the [censored]' fun park and you want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much [censored]' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling "Zippity Do-da" out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrammage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy [censored]!

[CrazyEyez]

[ QUOTE ]
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and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.

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$2.50 a gallon. LOL. Back in '97, I'm sure this was preposterous!

EDIT: The word is "ancillary", no? What is "antilary"?

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Since we're picking nits, I thought it was North Atlantic "scrod," not "squad."

Sweet rant, though.

[Ulysses]

die: nice thread.

loyalguard: How the F did you leave off the first sentence (and perhaps the best line!) of that rant?!?! You can't handle the truth!

Toro: Google.

Villainaire: That was neither a rant nor even a good monologue. From that movie, you should have chosen something like this:

RUIZ
'Dis?' 'Dis?' You're not in a
position to 'dis', or 'give props',
or whatever your Real World sense of
[censored] decorum tells you to do.
You're nothing. You're wallpaper.
You're not here to make [censored]
friends. Asking a [censored] where
he lives. And who the [censored] told you
'Red Dragon'?.

[MrFeelNothin]

[ QUOTE ]
Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball. Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. There's no CRYING IN BASEBALL. NO CRYING!

[/ QUOTE ]

YES!!!!! I almost forgot about this one!

[CrazyEyez]

El D,

Nicely done. If he's gonna go the gun route, here's the gun rant:

Ricky Slade: Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of [censored] money! It's a [censored] lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of [censored] money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me [censored] Fruit-Pie the [censored] magician! Tellin' me that I can't [censored] call my main man Max, who [censored] sent me out on the [censored] operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's [censored] scat all over, they [censored] disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not [censored] looking at me or you're [censored] doing whatever, I've got [censored] Jimmy in the mirror with his [censored] too. It's [censored] coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the [censored] [censored]'s coming and I'm not gonna be late for the [censored] dance man, I'm not gonna be [censored] late for the dance on this one.
Bobby: You're not getting a gun.

Going home to watch Made,
CE

[Ulysses]

CE,

Actually, the best gun rant would be this mini-rant:


HORRACE
I know what 'strapped' means,
[censored]. What the [censored] you
think this [censored] is? '21 Jump Street?'

[CrazyEyez]

[ QUOTE ]
CE,

Actually, the best gun rant would be this mini-rant:


HORRACE
I know what 'strapped' means,
[censored]. What the [censored] you
think this [censored] is? '21 Jump Street?'

[/ QUOTE ]
What, you gonna step to him Snoop Dogg?

Whoops, wrong movie. Got a little carried away.

[Noo Yawk]

this is too fun. Raging Bull:

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Jake La Motta: Did you [censored] my wife?
Joey LaMotta: Did you [censored] your mother?

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Jake La Motta: Did you [censored] my wife?
Joey LaMotta: What?
Jake La Motta: Did you [censored] my wife?
Joey LaMotta: [pauses] How do you ask me that? I'm your brother and you ask me that? Where do you get you're balls big enough to ask me that?
Jake La Motta: I'm gonna ask you again, did you or didn't you? Just answer the question.
Joey LaMotta: I'm not gonna answer that. It's stupid. It's a sick question and you're a sick [censored] and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If Nora calls tell her I went home. You know what you should do? Do a little more [censored] and a little less eating, so you don't have to blame it all on me and everybody else, you understand me? You're cracking up! Ya' [censored] screw ball ya'!

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Tried to edit it from what I remember...

"Goddammit you [censored] guys. You passed your sevens over a month ago...Seth is the only one who has opened the necessary forty accounts for their team leader. When I was a junior broker, I did it in twenty six days. You're not sending out press packets anymore. None of this Debbie the Time Life operator [censored]. It's time to go to work. Get on the phones and be aggressive. Learn how to push. Move around! Motion creates emotion.

I remember this guy once called me to sell me some stock. So I let him. I got every [censored] rebuttal out of this guy. Kept him on the phone for an hour and a half. Toward the end I started asking him buying questions. Like, what's the firm minimum? That's a buying question. I ask a question like that, BOOM right there he should take me down. It's not like I asked him what his 800 number was. That's a [censored] off question. I was giving him a run and he blew it. To a question like, What's the firm minimum the answer is zero! You don't like the idea, don't pick up a single share. This putz is telling me...(mocking)...ummm, a hundred shares? Wrong answer! No!You have to learn how to close. Keep asking questions. Ask rhetorical questions, doesn't matter...just to get a yes out of them. If you were drowning and I threw you a life jacket would you grab it? Yes? Good. Pick up two hundred shares, I won't let you down. Ask a guy if he'll be happy to see thirty to forty percent return. What's he gonna say? No? [censored] you, I don't want to see those returns?

*one guy laughs*

Stop laughing, it's not funny. If you can't close then start thinking about another career. I'm serious. I am dead [censored] serious about that. Have your rebuttals ready. Anybody says call me tomorrow, [censored]! Anybody says they got money problems about two hundred shares is lying to you. You know what I say to that? I say hey, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my [censored] necktie, but don't tell me you can't pull twenty five hundred together. And remember...there is no such thing as a "no sale" call. A sale is made on every call you make. You either sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can't. Either way a sale is made. The question is, who's gonna close, you or him? Now be relentless! That's it, I'm done."

ScottieK