Dumbest thing you've ever heard?

[BCPVP]

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"If it weren't for my horse... I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

<font color="white">Sorry... someone had to say it... </font>

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Damn, too slow... [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[ibankonu]

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"If it weren't for my horse... I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

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This was the first thing that i thought of when i saw this thread.

[HopeydaFish]

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Just thought of another one...

When I was about 17, a friend of mine was trying to quit smoking. I saw him at school and he looked a little pale. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he "quit cold turkey" and thought it was making him sick.

"Why, because of the withdrawal?" I asked him.

"No, I think that eating the uncooked turkey gave me food poisoning or something."

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i don't believe this

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I swear that it's true. When I started laughing at him and explained to him what "cold turkey" really means, he was mortified and got all panicky and tried to get me swear never to tell any of our other friends what he'd done.

The interesting part is that he took "cold turkey" to mean "cold *raw* turkey"...and this was one of the smarter guys I knew growing up.

[offTopic]

Friend of mine used to work in a hardware store.

A guy comes in and asks about chain. The discussion turns to price, and my friend says, "That one's $x.yz per lineal foot." Customer says, "Lineal foot...what's that, like 16 inches?"

[astroglide]

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"Lineal foot...what's that, like 16 inches?"

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that's [censored] awesome

[SCfuji]

same girl, one night, two incidents

friend puts a banana he is about to eat on a can of beer, girls asks what the banana is for, friend replies to keep it cold, girl puts a banana on her beer.

we are playing cranium. instead of rolling the dice she rolls the extra pieces and tries to figure out how many spaces to move for like a minute and we all just stare in AWE.

[asofel]

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same girl, one night, two incidents

friend puts a banana he is about to eat on a can of beer, girls asks what the banana is for, friend replies to keep it cold, girl puts a banana on her beer.

we are playing cranium. instead of rolling the dice she rolls the extra pieces and tries to figure out how many spaces to move for like a minute and we all just stare in AWE.

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this really cracked me up.

[BreakfastBurrito]

1. When I went to get my CA drivers license they made you take a written test. When waiting in line to get my test graded, there was a meathead behind me (actually wearing his barbell club t-shirt) who asked me "So, when it says prohibited, it means, like, you're not allowed to do it right?" I nodded, he thanked me, then he waited about 10 seconds, then he repeated the EXACT same question to me.

2. There is a sportscaster named Michael Barkan for Comcast Sports Net in Philadelphia. About 8 years ago, during an episode of Daily News Live, they were discussing who should be the Phillies All-Star. At the time, Curt Schilling was a top pitcher in the NL and clear cut all-star, but Doug Glanville was having a big first half, hitting .335 and getting hits in something like 55 of 58 games, so there was some talk of him getting selected too, although this clearly wasn't supposed to happen. Barkan though, knowing the rule that each team gets at least one all-star, felt it necessary to ask, "So, is there any way that we could say that Doug Glanville is the Phillies mandatory All-Star, and then Schilling makes it on his own merit?"

[Sightless]

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1. When I went to get my CA drivers license they made you take a written test. When waiting in line to get my test graded, there was a meathead behind me (actually wearing his barbell club t-shirt) who asked me "So, when it says prohibited, it means, like, you're not allowed to do it right?" I nodded, he thanked me, then he waited about 10 seconds, then he repeated the EXACT same question to me.


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hahaha hilarious

My dad isn't too bright sometimes. His second wife is from England and before flying there to meet his new in-laws, he asked, "do they have television and radio in England?" He was 47 years old and completely serious...